The Connection of Memories
by KakiTenshi
Summary: What really happens after a nobody dies? Where do the haerts, the heartless go after they are sent free? The true reality of Kingdom hearts, and all of its glory. So, the question still remainss; will Axel meet up with Roxas? Disclaimer: Me no own KH :(
1. Prologue: How it all Began

**Prologue: How it all Began**

Many people in the world show their hearts on their sleeves. Others hide it from the world forever, never showing it until they most need it. A very few don't have them at all.

These people are called Nobodies, the opposites of Heartless. They are the shell of the strong hearted people taken by the dark devils that plunge into every world, destroying everything in the way. But you see these people, called Nobodies don't technically have hearts, but they show the world that they do. Each of them different in many ways that it hurts to see them as no one. They show that they care and have feelings that they don't actually have. They search for Kingdom Hearts to get a heart, but then they'd be complete. Maybe Kingdom Hearts was inside of them and they already have hearts, they just need to know how to find them.

But then if they died, nothing would be left behind.

In a way there was something left by the dead, even the Nobodies. Something that no one could find or gather from the ground, it was a pure substance that could never die itself, in a way.

They lived on by their memories.

That was the immortal way that Lea wanted to live, everyone memorizing his name until his death. People remember him for the things he did for others, or his friends. It was passed on to his nobody Axel, in every shape and form. He continued to live in the shadow of himself, until he could be complete once more.

But then Roxas came into his life.

This small, energetic blue eyed boy took emerald eyes that Axel bore. Axel couldn't help taking a liking to the boy, there was something about the bright blue orbs that looked at him, they seemed familiar to him. It was odd, he remembered everything before turning into a nobody; expect this lingering feeling.

Axel did the only thing he could think of to ease this simple, yet complicated feeling, he befriended the boy. He took Roxas under his wing and taught him everything he knew about being a nobody. When Axel found out that Roxas had no memories before becoming a nobody, Axel made it his business to poke into Saix's brain to find out his name prior. After that, he looked up all the info he could find on the brunette.

But then things got complicated, Axel was set out to kill the person carrying Roxas' heart. His chest tightened, as he knew he faked sadness of the situation. Their was something about the orders he didn't like. But he came back, keeping Sora in complete shape, and a hope of Roxas being complete. However when he came back to the clock tower, he found a 'sad' Roxas eating alone. One word out of his mouth, and Roxas jumped; their was never a time that Axel felt like he had a heart, even when he was Lea, only Roxas made him feel this way.

That's why he paid no attention to the squeezing in his chest, the warmth that radiated inside Axel's body. He couldn't feel, but he knew he never had this emotion before; even in his past life.

So when Roxas left the Organization, he felt like a piece of him was missing. In a way, he was right. Axel lost the only thing that made him alive, a person and not a nobody. He had lost his heart to the sleeping boy that once saved his life. The same person he chased after, thinking Roxas was still in there, and gave his life for.

Or at least, what remain of it.

_What hurts the most  
><em>_Is being so close  
><em>_Having so much to say  
><em>_And watching you walk away._

He knew that no matter where he went, he'd still love Roxas and would always love him. Even in the next life, where they hopefully shared.

_Never knowing  
><em>_What could have been  
><em>_Not saying that loving you  
><em>_Is what I was trying to do_

But loved him, he did.


	2. Dreams

**Dreams**

Something about Axel's dreams made him different from everyone else in his town. He remembered every single one of them like he was living it, it was vivid, he didn't need to write or draw a picture to remember what he had seen.

Still, the names were lost in the sea of emotions he had felt. After living in **Hakumei** **Machi** for his whole life, he felt like something was missing, like a piece of him was gone and he needed it back. He wanted to be whole, alive and loved. Sure he had friends and family that loved him for who he was, but it didn't help that no one loved him enough.

He was a great person, gay, funny, muscular and protective of what he had, who couldn't want at least some of what he as a whole. It didn't help that all of his gay friends have boyfriend that loved them to death, sure they were only in high school, but looking into the eyes of these eleventh graders (A/N: In Canada we don't have a special name for our high school grades, other than niners...) you could tell that the emotion wasn't weak and couldn't be broken by small bounds. Axel was jealous of his friends, Zexion and Demyx were snuggling in the cafeteria that day while Terra was going on about his boyfriend from the next town. It didn't help that his only straight friend Namine had recently found a boyfriend, although lately, she spent her lunches either with him or with Larxene.

Still he loved his close friends to death, it didn't matter if he wanted to strangle them for their boyfriends or snicker with them with the latest gossip around school. He knew that no matter knocked them around, they would have each other's backs, especially with the reputation they managed to get over the past three years.

It was that day, Terra was going about his perfect blonde boyfriend that Axel sighed. He wanted to see that blonde boy in his dreams, he knew that he loved that man, even if it was a piece of his imagination. He took out his sketch pad and started drawing the new scene he had of them, sitting on top of a clock tower, watching the sunset, ignoring Terra in the process.

Terra nudged his shoulder back into reality. "Oi! Axel! Jesus I asked you a question!"

Axel looked at him. "What now?"

"Do you like anyone?"

Axel looked at him queerly, sure he likes someone, why else would he be drawing, ignoring his best friend's story? "Why?"

Terra shrugged. "You've been drawing a lot lately, can I see it?"

Axel sighed. "Fine, but don't make fun of it!"

Terra took the pad and glanced at the drawing, even in black and white, you could clearly tell the different colours of the sunset in the background, it complemented the town people sitting, backs turned in the foreground. "Wow, who are these people anyway?"

Axel shrugged. "To tell you the truth, I don't know. The redhead is me, but the other guy is the person I keep seeing in my dreams."

Zexion stopped whispering to Demyx and looked at Axel. "What type of dreams?"

"I don't know, I've had them since I could remember, most of them are me and this guy having adventures and eating icecream on that clock tower." I pointed to the picture.

Zexion looked at the drawing, then back at me. He was taking three different social sciences, I wasn't going to doubt he was finding a theory for this. "Interesting, maybe it's from a past life."

We all stared at him, dumbfounded. I managed to use my vocal chords, "You okay there? I didn't believe that was going to come out of your mouth."

Zexion shrugged. "Well I got them too, until I came here in the ninth grade and met Demyx. Now that I think about it, most of them were about Demyx." His voice drifted as his train of thought left us, I ignored him and turned back to Terra. "So what did you want to ask me?"

Terra looked at me quickly before slapping the desk. "Oh ya! My boyfriend is coming to town, but he has to bring his twin brother. They're coming to this school next month and I was going to show him all the spots around town..." Terra's voice trailed off and he saw I knew what was coming. I sighed.

"And you don't want him to be a third wheel?" I asked, clearly knowing what was going to happen.

"Yes! But if I ask Demyx or Zexion, they'll bring the other and them Ven's brother would be a fifth wheel."

I understood his problem, it was bad enough seeing Zemyx kiss in my peripheral vision with Terra _talking_ about his boyfriend. You couldn't imagine what it would be like if they were both doing **something** while in your presence. I nodded at Terra, sighing. "Sure I'll go. When is it?"

Terra's eyes widen with joy. "Thank you sooooooo much Axel, you won't regret it! I'll pick you up tomorrow at noon!" And as soon as he spoke, the bell rang signaling the end of lunch. I couldn't believe I was doing this, and that it was already Friday.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: Good? Bad? Ugh! As much as I like reading AkuRoku, I could never write something good. However something hit me when I wanted to write this and well, here it is. Please Review if you want it to continue! Or if you just want to give advice! :D<strong>


	3. Once Calming

**Once Calming**

Walking to my next period class was a drag. Not that the classes were bad, hell no, my afternoons rocked compared to most of my friends. But I had to wall all the up four flights of stairs to my third period class. Who puts an Art class room on the top floor of a building? Most of the work during this time of year was for the school play, or will be in the next month or so, and the Auditorium that we stage it was two floors down.

Trudging to class, I kept thinking of the dream I was having lately. I've never seen the blonde's face perfectly, only catching snapshots of his eyes. They looked like ocean filled orbs, or a flowing river running into a waterfall, they captivate me and I could never take my eyes away. Not that I could control where my eyes go when I'm dreaming. Sometimes I'd be looking over them, others I would be _me_.

It confuses the hell out of me, especially since this could all be my imagination even if Zexion, the super Atheist, somehow believes that I'm seeing my past life.

Even looking at my drawings of us together looks creepy, but somehow I believe that this actual happened to someone, somewhere in this world. It didn't matter that the people in the scenes may have been different, but two people who liked each other were on this clock tower everyday to watch the sun go down. It made him sigh at the thought.

Placing my sketchbook down next to my friend Namine, I walked over to the large brown desk on the far wall. It had three green blackboards behind it, with chalked words streaking across one. Another had their assignment for the class, 'drawing a picture from our dreams.' It didn't give any more instructions, no clarification of what type of dreams, sleeping or things we wanted to do. However at that moment, the teacher, Miss Enkai, was out of the room getting some more supplies. Sighing, I grabbed the piece of canvas I need to paint my drawing on and started out my outline. I needed to get my mind off the Blondie in my dreams by painting him, I didn't know how yet. I felt like I didn't know exactly what he looked like; some pieces were missing, so I started with the basics.

Grabbing my sketchpad, I opened a new page. Drawing a round circle that would hold the face of the blue eyed beauty in my dreams, outlining his eyes and shading in the places I didn't know. Next I worked on his toned muscles, not that I knew what they looked like, they were always covered by the black outfit he wore. Still you could see the shape of his arms, how broad his shoulders were, and the curves of his body. After that I added the outline of his clothes and drew his odd spiky blonde hair. Looking at it I smiled. This. Was. It.

Placing on the canvas was easy, I was pretty much just mimicking the same thing I was doing before. The funny thing was when I looked up at the pictures, blonde boy was in two totally different positions. I shook my head and just let myself go and finish the outline I was drawing.

I didn't notice that the teacher had walked in until she pranced over and looked at my drawing. "Good job Axel, I like the background to this nice drawing of this boy. I can't wait until you start painting it." Sure enough when I looked up, two gleaming eyes appeared behind the boy. They looked different from each other and they shone in different light. It scared me, where the hell did this come from? I never remembered this appearing in my dreams.

I kept staring at the outline when I realized something else. Where I was working on had a basic outline of long key, it made me jump. The thing was that that key appeared everywhere in my dreams, once everytime it would appear in some fashion, whether in talk or visually seeing it. Always seeing it with the blonde boy, and a brunette.

Shaking my head I continued, still freaked out by my own subconscious.

* * *

><p>I zoned out once again as I continued my artwork. It sucked seeing that everyone was staring at the outline I had of my painting, their eyes telling me that they were comparing theirs with it. I looked at Namine once or twice wondering at she was dreaming about, but hers was concealed by her body every time I tried. She was doing it on purpose and I know she saw mine. Thankfully the bell rang and I looked at my outline. It was completely finished, but by looking at it you could see the complex ideas running through it.<p>

In the foreground was Blondie lying on diagonally across the canvas. One either side was an eye, the left was the same as the one on the boy with two different keys touching the tear ducks. One of the keys looked holy as it only had a touch of shading done to it while the other looked demonic being completely black in my mind. The right eyes looked like my own with flames and two circular objects flying through it. Completely in the background was the setting sun with the clock tower poisoning my dreams.

I sighed at cleaned up my stuff.

_You stupid boy,_

_Oh, you always had to be right _

_But now you lost the only thing_

_That ever made you feel alive_

Axel didn't understand why those words came into mind when he thought about his painting. His brain rummaged through the lyrics looking for some clue to the reason. He couldn't find a decent reason as he finally hit the main stairs, clearly going to be late for his next class. Not that it mattered, his drama teacher couldn't care less this time of year. And he had that class with Larxene, he shuddered at the thought as he tumbled into a short kid with spiky blonde hair. Looking up at the man he bumped into, he gasped.

_It took awhile for her to figure out_

_She run could run_

_But when she did_

_She was long gone,_

_Long gone_

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: Wah! This was totally not what I had planned, but my sister decided to wipe my new USB clean along with this chapter. The ending was the same thing I was thinking about, but the beginning was completely different than the orignal... Oh well! *^^ So I hoped you enjoy and I'll get cracking on the new chapter :)<strong>

**Disclaimer: Me no know KH... :'(**


	4. Blonde Boys

**Blonde Boys**

I gaped at the boy in front of me; it looked exactly like the boy in his dreams. Well into I saw the boy's eyes, they were same blue but the shine in them seemed different, like they were someone else's eyes. Shaking my head, I looked up again. "I'm sorry about that kid."

The blonde boy in front of me glared at me. "Why does everyone think me and my brother are kids? I swear even Terra thinks that! It's insulting!"

Whoa! This kid knows Terra? How the hell does this short kid that looks like my dream guy know that stupid idiot who is probably asleep in Drama right now because he's that much of an idiot? There couldn't be much of a chance, could there?

_'My boyfriend is coming to town,'_

Boyfriend?

_'He has to bring his twin brother'_

Twin brother...

This guy looks exactly like the guy in my dreams except for his eyes, if he is who I think he is then his twin...

No Axel, don't get your hopes up. You don't even know that he's even Terra's boyfriend! He could just be one of Terra's random friends that he hangs around with on the weekends when me and Zemyx are busy with projects to do anything. Still there was a chance, but how could I ask? Asking him if he was Terra's boyfriend would be rude and I can't remember what his name was, maybe if he says I will remember. My mind is like that; it sucked sometimes but now was an exception.

"Sorry kid, I don't know your name and you're shorter than me." I commented.

"I pretty sure most people are shorter, and my name is Ventus. Call me Ven though."

I nodded, that name did sound familiar, though I have no idea where. Maybe he is Terra's boyfriend, because Terra doesn't tell us what he does with his other friends. I chuckled. "Sorry Ven, well I guess I'll introduce myself then. My name is Axel, I'm a friend of Terra's."

Ven's eyes widen and he looked around. I have no idea why he was though, it was quite weird to tell you the truth. "Is he with you?" He rushed out still looking around.

"No, we had different classes, but I know what class he's going to, or already in. Why? What's wrong?" I asked, in an attempt to get him looking at me and not around for an escape route.

"I was with my brother going around school to check out our classes and he turned the wrong corner I guess. The thing is that I'm lost and I need to find him. I've been searching for Terra and Roxas for an hour now."

Roxas, why did that name feel familiar to me. It was strange, I know I've never met anyone with that name, my memory isn't that bad to forget such a unique name. "Is Roxas your brother's name? I can look for him and get Terra while I'm at it."

Ven's eye's shot up into mine with a pleading look. Doubt crossing through his eyes as he tried to conceal it. I knew he didn't want to trust a stranger but there was another emotion peering through the mask, it looked like happiness or a sly grin was trying to rise onto his face. It creeped me out to tell you the truth, how he seemed to be scheming and playing me was beyond me. "Could I come with you?" I heard him ask as he tried to keep up with my pace. He did manage, a gust of air flowing through the hallway as we continued down the stairs to the second floor. The sudden draft made me shiver as we turned the corner to the Aud doors. Peaking my head through I looked at Terra, leaning against the stage - awake.

Looking at my watch I noticed two things wrong. One, Terra was awake ten minutes after the bell to start class. Two, he was talking to the teacher and laughing at what she was saying - not saying that Ms. Kaki wasn't funny, just that Terra only ever paid attention in shop classes or P.E. - it was like someone was trying to keep him occupied while Ven and I looked for Roxas. I just hoped that Roxas was Ven's twin and not some other brother.

I looked at Ven, of course he didn't have another sibling or if they did they weren't close to the same year. You can tell by the glow of the human face. It was one of Axel's weird abilities, that and fire, but then again fire just soothed him. "I can go in and get him." I said, pushing past all other thoughts.

Ven nodded, "Please, I really need your guys help. But how will you gets get out?"

I laughed at that. "Don't worry, if it's to important the teacher won't mind. Plus Ms. Kaki is a very nice teacher, me and Terra sometimes just ditch and we've never been marked absent."

Ven smiled. "And if you have to ditch?"

"You can always sneak out through the Music hallway over there." I said pointing to the door at the side of the Aud. "We go out there all the time to use the bathroom there, don't worry."

Ven nodded. "Are you guys going to come back here?"

I nodded and walked into class, Terra started laughing. "What took you so long?"

"I'm sorry, but I bumped into your boyfriend in the hallway. Decided to apologize and was going to go help him find his brother, but now that I think about it..."

Terra flew himself at me, if I hadn't been use to it I would have toppled over and landed on my ass. "Roxas is missing? Oh my god! We better go find him! Ms. Kaki! Me and Axel need to go and look for my cousin, he's gotten lost and my mom told me that I had to take care of him this year."

nodded and let us leave. Running up the aisle laughing my ass off, he used that excuse last time.

We reached the doors and Terra flew out, grabbing Ven and spinning him around like a rag doll. They both giggled and share short pecks from each other as I walked over to the nearest garbage can to puke. Ven looked at me and laughing while whispering something to Terra. Terra started laughing with him and I stormed off to give the two some piece.

However Terra ran up to me and we decided how to divide the floors. Ven took the basements, Terra took the first and second, while I took the third and fourth. Nodding I ran to the stairs in search of the blondie in question. Running like a maniac down the hallways and into different bathrooms. I swear three teachers looked at me and thought I was constipated or something, it was pretty bad. After checking a staircase that led to nowhere, I walked up to the fourth floor. Peering out I saw someone looking out the window with a sketchpad in his hands. The person was wearing a black hoodie one size two big and dark wash jeans. At first I thought he was a loner drawing for art class.

_Where were you?_

_When everything was going wrong?_

_All my days_

_Staring by the telephone_

_It never rang_

_And All I need was a call_

_That never came_

Well let's just say that when _his_ eyes met mine I didn't think so anymore. Sure this kid looked like he used his time wisely and was more thoughtful than most, but it was the flowing blue orbs he held that made me convinced. This boy wasn't a loner, his eyes shined with knowledge and wisdom that most don't have in a lifetime. He hands looked rough as he pushed his hood down to look at me. I smiled at his and held my hand. "Hey." was all that would come out.

_Lost and insecure_

_You found me, you found me_

_Lying on the floor_

_Where were you?_

_Where were you?_

_Why you have to wait?_

_To find me, to find me_

The boy smiled as his blonde hair moved. Perfectly in sync with my movements he met my hand and shook it. "Hello, I'm sorry if this is your spot."

"Nah. Though I do like to draw here to, it inspires you to draw the most strangest things sometimes." I said thinking back to when I used to draw an abandoned old building surrounded by trees while looking out the window. "Do you mind if I take a look at your drawing?" I asked, wondering if his thoughts were the same as mine as we stared through the window. But the boy shook his head as he blushed.

I was about to speak again when Ventus flew into the hallway grabbing the blonde boy back. Just by that I knew who it was and I laughed. The boy was Roxas, the twin brother of Ven who just so happens to be my friend's boyfriend.

Terra chuckled at the sight too, so they both looked at us and blushed. "Sorry." They both mumbled, trying not to darken. Terra didn't want to have any of that, so he took Ven by the hand and pulled him in and kissed his lips tenderly.

I laughed, poking at Roxas. "You wanna go some place else. I have a feeling these two need a room."

Roxas laughed at that and nodded. "Ya sure! Maybe we can go find a place to paint."

I laughed and brought him to my art classroom where Mrs. Enkai was sitting in looking at me.

"Do you mind if I continue my painting? Ms. Kaki doesn't mind and I know it's going to take longer than the rest of the class." I asked as Mrs. Enkai looked at Roxas and me. Quickly I added. "He wants to start his own work, we'll both be busy and working. I promise."

Ms. Enkai nodded. "As long as you are working. I'm going to get the rest of the paint from downstairs."

Roxas glowed as Ms. Enkai left, leaving me, him and the world of Art left in the room.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: Well as you can see, they've finally met. YAY! Also I've recently made (yesterday) a tumblr account so if you want to follow it, go to kakitenshi(.)tumblr(.)com I'll be posting questions and updates to new and current stories up there. Also if you want to give me ideas for this or other stories you can get me there or here on fanfic :) Also I would like to thank candy-kun for getting me off my lazy ass and starting this up again. Your reviews make me laugh so hard and get me wanting to start another chapter! :D<strong>


	5. Paintings

**Paintings**

I grabbed out the paints need for my foreground, looking at Roxas in the process. Comparing the colours of the paints and the shades I could make with them and the texture and look of Roxas himself. And that's when it hit me, I was painting Roxas and I did tell Ms. Enkai that I was working on a project. I couldn't let Roxas see the painting, or the outline until later on. I didn't want to ruin everything before it started, did I?

I quickly looked at Roxas and what he was painting, but he was facing me and the back to my canvas. So he wouldn't be able to see anything, but I couldn't see anything on his either. Well it couldn't hurt to ask, right?

"What cha painting?" I asked, as calming as I could.

Roxas blushed as he finished his outline. "I'm painting the drawing I was doing earlier. And before you ask, no you're not allowed to see it until it is done." He turned his face away from mine muttering something else under his breathe. I think it was, 'And I'm not sure then either.'

I sighed. "Fair enough. But that means you can't see mine either." Phew, that went a lot smoother than I thought. I grabbed the yellowed and dipped my thin tip brush in, delicately stroking his hair into the picture. After I started darkened patches of it to make it more lifelike and match how I imagined the sun was in the picture. Smiling, I started on his blue orbs and washed my brush before dipping it into the bright blue I found that perfectly matched his eyes. Next I did the eye in the background, an enlarged version of the boy in the painting. The boy in same room as me now.

I looked at my half finished boy and felt someone staring at me. Looking up, I saw Roxas glaring at me. Blushing I looked away, "Take a picture, it'll last longer." I mumbled, going back to my painting. I was so focused on it that I almost missed it. Roxas speaking in barely a whisper, "I am."

I kept myself from looking up at him. He was painting me? But he said- didn't he say that he was painting the picture he was working on? It didn't sound right, but then again how could I be painting him too even though today was the first time I've met him.

We kept painting in silence, looking at each other in only glances. I felt every one like an arrow hitting me that was ripped out of my body a second later. I longed for the blue orbs to come to mine, but I knew that I couldn't hold them. They were intense and they seemed to be looking through me, every time he looked over I could feel his eyes placed somewhere on my body, slowly creeping down as if he was examining me.

I couldn't help my eyes roaming either; Roxas' body just seemed to entrance me to keeping looking. His eyes glowed as he looked at the canvas, his lips tight in concentration. His body curved in all the right places, his clothes placed in perfect complementary. I smiled wolf-like as I started painting his clothes on the canvas. He still wore the black trench coat, because that's how it was in the dreams, but I still kept picturing his everyday clothes in it.

He was wearing tight light wash jeans, there were loose enough to breathe, but tight enough so I could see how god his ass was. He also wore a grey V-neck shirt with a white vest on top that showed his toned muscles as it clung to his body like glue. He wore a crown like necklace, like he did in my dreams, it shined in the light. The silver caught my attention as I quickly went to on my canvas.

_So I won't let you _

_Close enough to hurt me, no  
>I won't ask you, <em>

_You to just desert me  
>I can't give you, <em>

_What you think you give me_

"Axel." I snapped my head up from behind my canvas in acknowledgement. "Do you ever wonder if your dreams come true?"

_Next time I'll be braver  
>I'll be my own savior<br>When the thunder calls for me  
>Next time I'll be braver<br>I'll be my own savior  
>Standing on my own two feet<em>

It was an odd question, but it seemed to be eating at him from the inside. Reminding me of what Zexion told me earlier today. "I believe that sometimes dreams can become a reality, even in the smallest ways. What happens in the dream may be different than in the real world, but I feel the people we meet will eventually come and find us." Sure if someone asked me this this morning I wouldn't have said the same thing, but look in front of me. How couldn't I believe that dreams have some say in who we meet? The blonde boy creeping in my dreams for the past 10 years is here in front of me.

Roxas blushed and nodded. I couldn't put my finger on why, nothing seemed embarrassing on my part. Still, Roxas did look really cute when he blushed, I really wanted to go over there and jump him. Shaking my head to clear my thoughts, I went back to my drawing but now there was something eating at me. Was he having the same dreams? Zexion said he had them about Demyx, and Zexion is the most non religious person I know. Maybe we weren't the only one?

"Roxas, have you ever been seen on top of a clocktower as the sun fades into dusk?"

Roxas looked up at me, confused. "Well I've never really, but in my dreams I'm always sitting on a clocktower eating a popsicle while I watch the sun go down." He paused for a moment. "Sometimes there's two people with me, one with black short hair while the other was a ginger."

A ginger? What the hell is a ginger? Wait, I was once mistaken for a ginger. Does that mean gingers are people with red hair? I shook my head again trying to keep the questions out. Roxas looked at me funny. "What?" I asked.

"Nothing," Roxas giggled. "You're just really weird sometimes, you know?"

I glared at him. "You barely even know me, we've met today." I cocked a coy smile. "Unless you've been stalking me."

Roxas stopped laughing. "Of course not! Just in the past hour you've done really weird things, okay?"

I chuckled at that, "Oh really? Care to enlighten me?"

"Nope. I'm going back to my painting now."

* * *

><p><strong>Author's note: I was going to make Roxas say fire crotch, but then I was like "He has never been down there… I don't think he knows." Also I would like the say thank you to candy3314 for your hilarious reviews, I was reading this REALLY sad AkuRoku and I was crying. But then I saw your review and it made me happy again! :)<strong>


	6. Odd Situations

**Odd Situations**

An awkward silence filled the room after the random questions being thrown around. I had finally finished Roxas in my painting and was working on the other eye. It looked gleaming with love, but deceitful at the same time and the flames consuming the eye. I felt like I was setting myself on fire as I started to paint to area. Pain was pulsing through my body, burns creeping across my skin. I couldn't understand why, I looked around me and there were no flames. Not even a spark of light that could cause uproar, even my lighter was in my locker - away from reach.

_Just gonna stand there_

_And watch me burn_

_But that's alright_

_I like the way it hurts_

I could concentrate on anything as the burning started to get worse. The feeling hitting all my nerves as I felt like I was being swallowed alive. I quickly looked around to see any danger, nothing was around. Roxas even looked at me like I was crazy a few times.

_Just gonna stand there_

_And hear me cry_

_But that's alright_

_I love to the way you lie_

Soon I started to feel lightheaded as I stared at the painting. There had to be something going on the have this happen, there were no coincidences in this world. I learned that a long time ago, the hard way. Nothing was left to chance when it was your life on the line, even insanity. But the burning felt so real, like my brain thought it was there, but it wasn't. I knew that, but the shearing pain didn't want to leave. I gasped for air as I fell, painting falling against the counter, facing towards me. If I was in pain, I would have laughed at that. My painting was staring at me, mocking me.

Suddenly Roxas was by my side, looking at me with those gleaming blue eyes. "Are you okay?" He asked, fear dipping into his voice. The burning sensation lessened as he looked at me, but a new one took its place.

"Ya, I don't know what wrong with me. I probably need to sleep." I waved him off and tried to get up. He sat that staring at me, until I toppled over and he stood up to catch me. Seriously what was wrong with me today?

"You need to go to the infirmary." Roxas said, lifting my arm around his shoulder. There wasn't much difficulty due to our height difference, but I didn't think I would be the one to need his help. Still he grabbed out stuff and glided me out of the room. There was one funny thing about the whole thing though.

Not once did his eyes wander to my painting on the floor.

* * *

><p>We should have used the elevator down to the infirmary, but neither of us had a key. So onto the stairs we went, me wincing in pain from injuries I don't have. I felt weak, but from the fear melting into Roxas' blue eyes, I must have looked like it too.<p>

We had two flights of stairs to go down as the only place I could go from injuries was the P.E. office. I just hoped that Mr. Ginato was there and not Mr. Limota. I wanted to shiver at the thought, but my body still felt like it was on fire.

And why did I start to burn anyway? I was painting for crying out loud! There was nothing there to hurt me by fire, even if someone came in there with a torch. All the flammable paint was still with Ms. Enkai, in her car. Not the safest place, we've all told her that, but she doesn't want the school to blow up for the Grade 12s end of the month projects.

So why did I feel that weird sensation? It was foreign to my body, unless it happens in my sleep. Now that I've mentioned it, I once dreamt of dying in a pit of fire with these white monsters around me. I told the brunette in my dreams to go and I would face- Did I even know the name to the creatures that killed me? It felt like it was on the tip of my tongue, dusks?

I mentally chuckled at that thought. I lived my days in my dreams watching the dusks fly away, and my end always is by these white creatures who I think are called dusks? How did the gods not cry laughing at that pun? I wanted to bang my head through a wall, maybe even clean my ears with nail polish remover.

Suddenly I felt the contact on my shoulder leave and I snapped back into reality. That was happening a lot lately, me entering a daydream haze. I looked up to see Roxas sitting on a chair near the office. "Wah." Was all that came out before I got interrupted.

"Oh my god Axel, why the hell are you at the office anyway?" Larxene, the only person who doesn't get I'm gay exclaims. "I'm surprised that you didn't text me!"

I shook my head, like I would ever. When she gave me her number I was playing Tetris on my phone. She honestly doesn't know how to take a hint. I was going to reply when I heard Roxas speak next to me. "Sorry, he's not in trouble, I just don't know where the infirmary is."

Larxene grumbled something under her breathe and then laughed. "Sorry kid, we don't technically have an infirmary, we just go down to the P.E. office and get looked at. If we need to lie down they get the key to the S.A.C office (_S_tudent _A_ctivity_ C_ouncil) and we sleep on the couch."

Roxas nodded. "Thanks, I'll do that now."

Larxene stopped him. "No that's okay. I can help him down there, you just go back to class." She said pushing him away. I growled at her.

"Larxene stop it! Let him take me. I don't want to be near you for the fear of you jumping in my pants when we turn the corner. And by the way. I'm. Not. Interested!" I flipped, causing Larxene to jump. If she didn't get that I was going to revert to drastic measures.

She didn't all that happy when she spoke again. "You're rejecting me? The only other person to reject me was Demyx and that was because he was-" She stopped as clarity finally hit.

_I wouldn't wanna be anybody else.  
>You made me insecure<br>Told me I wasn't good enough  
>But who are you to judge<br>When you're a diamond in the rough  
>I'm sure you got some things<br>You'd like to change about yourself  
>But when it comes to me<br>I wouldn't want to be anybody else_

"Got it memorized?" I joked. It was kind of my way of saying, "BINGO"

_Who says  
>Who says you're not perfect<br>Who says you're not worth it  
>Who says you're the only one that's hurting<br>Trust me  
>That's the price of beauty<br>Who says you're not pretty  
>Who says you're not beautiful<br>Who says_

Roxas looked confused as he put his arm around my shoulder again. I got up from the bench and walked away, trying so hard not to laugh at all things _this_ was how Larxene realizes I'm gay. I swear I thought I had to bitchslap her and then yell it in her face.

Roxas stopped at the staircase. I looked at him, his gaze on the stairs asking the silent question. Which way.

"Go to the first floor. The P.E. office should be a couple doors down from here." I said, wincing internally. No pain and no crying. Those were the rules of my house. We never showed a moment of weakness, ever.

"Thanks." Roxas muttered as he walked us down the stairs. 'Only one more flight to go.' I mentally told myself. And I was right, we reached the P.E. office just as the bell rang to signal school was over. I sighed and looked at Roxas, he didn't want me to even think about leaving without getting looked at.

"Oh Axel, what's wrong?" Mr. Ginato said. Roxas dragging me to the couch.

"To tell you the truth I feel like someone lit me on fire and threw me down some stairs." I replied.

The teacher smiled. "Well you look like it. Let me check you out." He spoke, looking for anything serious. When nothing came up he looked at Roxas. "You better make sure he stays in bed."

Roxas nodded, taking everything in. kept on talking. "- And could you drive him home? I don't think it's smart for him to be driving."

I sighed in argument, but Roxas and the teacher looked at me. "I'll get Terra to."

Roxas looked at me. "No you won't. Knowing my brother, Terra won't even be around for another minute."

I laughed at that, knowing why they would probably leave the school quickly for. "Fine."

Roxas' eyes lit up and helped me to my car. Just like Roxas thought, Ven and Terra's cars were gone and I was stuck with Roxas. Not that I'm complaining.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: Hey guys! I'm sorry I didn't update yesterday, I wasn't in the writing mood cause I was jittery from the game I had. Soccer Playoffs do that to you. And for those who care, we did win in shoot outs. THANK GOD... Anyway I was going to post two chapters today, but when I finally felt like writing I was soooooooo exhausted that I couldn't keep my eyes open. (It was<em> after<em> the game) I'm surprised that I was able to write this. I'll see if I can write one durig the day and post it up when I can. SORRY GUYS! Oh and sorry if it sucks, I was sleepy xD**


	7. Coming Out Stories

**Coming Out Stories**

We walked over to my car in the nearly empty parking lot. Normally people left right away on a Friday, today was no exception, okay there was since the boys football team had practice and about half of the team were 11th or 12th graders - all with their license.

So the parking lot was quiet as we ventured through to find my bright red Mitsubishi Lancer Evo. It wasn't a sports car, like I really wanted, but it was fast and surely looked like one. I sighed at my car. I was lucky I found it used or else I would have never been able to buy it. The bonus was that Terra knew this guy who could body paint my baby so it had flames with Frisbee things I have in my dreams. I gave the image I want in the colours needed to look at least decent and Terra hasn't said anything since.

Roxas poked me in the side, not risking to look up. I glanced down at him cocking my head to the side, it was my way of saying 'what' without any words. "Where's your car?"

I threw him my keys and pointed at the car in front of us. "This one. And hurry up and get in before I change my mind." I snarled the last part to show my annoyance that I had to show him my crappy home now, when I barely even knew the guy. Still I was nervous that _he_ was driving me, that _he _was taking care of me. _He. Roxas._ I wanted to scold the butterflies rising up in my stomach, but I didn't want to look weirder than I probably was today. Stumbling in on him, having him alone in a room for over an hour asking random questions, the painting weirdness and don't get me started on how I act when I'm actually painting. Namine once told me she thought something was trying to take over my body when I first painted near her.

God, I'm such a doofus.

Roxas cleared his throat as he finished adjusting the mirrors and seat after turning on the ignition. "Where am I going exactly?"

I blushed, looking away. "Take a left out of the parking lot and go down their for awhile." I needed to keep it cool, but that was becoming more and more impossible by the minutes. Roxas silently did what I did, taking a left at the school exit. Then the eerie silence filled the room, I couldn't help but fiddle with my fingers. I chanced a glance at him, he was so focus on the road that he didn't seem to notice me. When I finally looked away the silence grew even more awkward, like our thoughts were taking all of our time. Something had to be done.

"Axel what street do I have to turn on?" Roxas asked as I tried to find a way to remove the silence in the car.

"Random Road, take a right." I sighed and looked at my radio. "Do you wanna listen to some music?"

Roxas' eyes beamed as he stopped at a light. "I would love some music, do you have CDs?"

I looked at the glove compartment, most of my music was extremely random. "Ya, what type do you like to listen to?"

"I like a lot of music, but for some reason I'm in the mood for Hedley."

I laughed, I really like this kid's choice in music. "Good to hear. I'm feeling the same way." I said popping the compartment open and putting one in my CD player. Blasting through the car was the last song I thought I put on there. The funnier thing was that Roxas was laughing. He chanced a glance, I caught him. "Yes?"

_I see it in the way you would do_

_When no one else could ever get through_

_Holding back till I come around_

_Time and time again you wait for me to come in_

"I was wondering if you wanted to sing to it. You look like you want to, just pretend I'm not here."

I laughed at that. Of course I wanted to sing this song, it held every emotion that I could never express in it. But if I did I would ruin everything and I didn't want that.

_Did you really look my way?_

_Cause no one could've seen this coming_

_I would never let you down_

_If I was running backward in full time_

Shaking my head I looked through my brain to find things to change the topic. "Terra said that you and Ven are transferring, do you like your school?"

Roxas shrugged. "It could be better, there are a lot of homophobes in Mabushii Senzai. Me and my brother had enough, we told our parents and they said we would move as quickly as possible. Me and Ven both came out when Ven and Terra starting dating, so they decided it would be best if we came here. Most of our family lives in Mabushii Senzai so it is easier to go see them, and Ven can still be happy with his boyfriend."

"Ouch that's rough. I haven't even told my parents yet, though I know exactly how they would respond."

Roxas' cocked his eyebrow, keeping his eyes on the road. "What do you mean?"

Quickly looking out the window I spoke. "My parents were never supportive, even when I was small. I tried everything to avoid them after school started." I paused as the street popped up that I needed. "Take a left at the next light." I looked at him and he asked me to continue. "I was always the weird middle child, the one that never belonged. I followed the rules out to the core and then my big brother Reno comes along and makes me the one there proud of by uttering three words."

Roxas looked at me, confusion filled his eyes as he couldn't place what I was saying.

"Roxas, he told them that he was gay. They yelled and screamed at him, but he never fought back. All he did was look at me and our little brother. My brother was disowned at that very moment, and that he was never part of the family. All of a sudden I become the new favourite, who would have know the outcast of the family becomes a main player because of one's orientation."

Roxas shook behind the wheel. Fear passed through all of his body, I could tell, it was the exact same reaction to me while it was happening. But then the strangest thing came out of his mouth. "So your never coming out?"

_So I can_

_And I will_

_And you'll see_

_Your hero come running_

_Over and over tonight_

But he didn't stop there, he kept talking - no ranting - on about how it isn't fair. "You really want to live your live miserable because you can't love who you want? Are you going to marry some poor straight girl, who could have better, because you don't want to get disowned? Axel really, think of your happiness in the long run, is money worth everything to you?"

I shook my head as a response, but then I remember he was driving. "No Roxas, I don't care about their money, heck if they got into a car accident I wouldn't even shed a tear for them. They put my life through hell, heck if our little brother wasn't born I would probably be in boarding school right now in the middle of no where." I sighed at the thought of it. I could never be able to leave my friends that I have now, it wasn't possible. "If I knew they wouldn't kick me out I would tell them. I just have no where to go. My brother just started college, he was already away on his own, and I have no one I could run to if anything should happen."

"What about your friends?"

"All my close friends wouldn't be able to help me, and the rest of them wouldn't understand. Zexion has three older siblings and they all live in two bedroom apartment, I have no idea how Demyx sleeps over there. Demyx's dad is a drunk homophobe. The only reason he tolerates Demyx is because he thinks he's going through a phase and that it's temporary. And well Terra hasn't shown anyone where he lives, he pretty much mooches off of us or Ven."

_But I do wanna love you_

_If see me running back_

_And I do wanna try_

_Because if falling for you boy is crazy_

_Then I'm going out of my mind_

_So hold back your tears this time_

Roxas sighed; there was something about it that didn't sit right with him. It was like he knew something that I couldn't see. "When do I turn for your house?" He asked, changing the topic completely.

I looked and saw my street name. "Take a right here, the number is 687"

Roxas nodded and drove on. The car's speakers voicing out the next song.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: I am sooooooooooooooo sorry! I was going to start writing this right after I posted the last one, but <strong>_**things**_** got in the way. Sister, still tired from the day before, sister, couldn't find my train of thought, having to chase my sister around the house, got KH Re: Coded and was playing it, yelling at my sister for using my DS **_**without **_**permission, getting stuck in my game... and something else my sister did. As you can see there is a pattern in my house revolving me and my sister. I know it's a stupid reasoning for not writing or posting, but I just couldn't find the time. Yesterday I just REALLY wanted to at least start it and maybe even finish it. Today rolled around and I finally found the right ending and now I'm posting it :D**

**Oh and BTW this whole thing is on the fly, I have **_**no **_**clue where this is going. When I find out you will, and if you have any suggestions (**_**within**_** reason candy) I will put them in. Right now I just need to find a way to get this friendship to bromance to romance XD Anyway I hope you guys enjoyed it and I really hope to hear from you people!**

**Oh and thank you candy-kun if you put up that message in you A/N I really appreciate everything you do. **


	8. Food, Big Mistake

**Food, Big Mistake**

We arrived at my house not too long after. It was easy enough to find, the street being small and all. It was homey, but I never called it that, never. Sure it was _my home_, but I always called it my house, like I was the outsider that never belonged. I felt a pang of jealousy for Roxas and Ven's understanding parents.

Lucky for us when we strolled in, the house was empty - the only life that seemed to be present was my younger brother Kajiki, his garbage all across the kitchen from the lunch he decided to have. "Sorry about the mess." I mumbled as I went into the fridge to get something to eat. "You hungry?"

Roxas was quiet for awhile, until he spoke. "Ya, what do you have to eat?"

I laughed. "Depends, you want to eat healthy food or junk food?"

Roxas sighed at the question. "I'm guessing your parents aren't home very often."

"The lack of groceries tells you _that _much. You wound me Roxas." I chuckled, trying to speak in a sarcastic tone. "My parents don't seem to care after what happened with Reno. Me and Kajiki just fend for ourselves, normally I have to restock the house being the only person aside from my rentals that can drive."

Roxas gave me a questioning stare. "Rentals?" the word didn't seem to place right on his tongue.

"Ya, rentals. You know, your pa_rents_? Me and my friends like to call them rents, rentals and parental units. It's quite funny watching the teachers get flustered over our nicknames. But hey its better than most teens nicknames, right?"

Roxas giggled, but soon the giggle turned into a chuckle, then a laugh. Soon he was on the floor hysterical. "You are so weird!" I heard come out of his mouth when he calm down a little bit.

"Hey! Don't insult me, or no soup for you!" I laughed. "Do you want some spaghetti? Its fast and I make a killer sauce that goes with it."

"Doesn't sauce take awhile to make?" Roxas asked with a smirk. I chuckled at his innocence.

"Well, normally it would _if_ you weren't like me and premade it already." I opened the freezer door and held up a container of frozen red liquid. "I made it yesterday, but I wasn't planning on using it for awhile. You game?"

Roxas nodded, "Sure Axel, though I'll go and start us off while you go get changed."

I cocked an eyebrow. "Changed? Why would I get changed?"

Roxas sighed loudly. "I told the teacher that I was going to make you go to bed, remember?" He was no fun at all...

"No, you said that you would make sure I _stayed _in bed. Nothing about making me go." I shot back, walking to my room to put on more comfortable clothes. The kid had a point, I nearly had a mental break down at school! I definitely needed to sleep before I went mental in school. Nothing like a good old padded box to make you feel at home.

I walked into my red blazing room, not that the room was hot - no my room was painting by my hand. The walls were purely me and each wall was different, ideas not connecting and yet they still were. The wall facing the door had my bed, covered in the clock tower that I dreamed of, the corners looked like they were burning the painting on the wall. Just like the memory was burned into my memory. On the west wall was a window and around the window was completely white, the only colour to it was the odd symbol placed to the left it. It looked like a heart with a cross below it, still touching. I never understood why I ever painted it, even looking at the other side of the window with the black Roman Numerals surrounded by a blue flame. The wall with the door was probably the most decorated, holding all the most precious things that I remembered from my dreams, those Frisbee things whirled around the door with their usual flames surrounding them. On each side of the door was a different scene that changed everything, _everything_. The left side was me behind 'Roxas' as he walked away, it reminded me of how scared I was to lose him, lose the only thing that I had close to a heart. If I could feel I would have been crying my eyes out, because _I_ felt like crying my eyes out thinking about it. Even so, it was happier than the right side of the door. There held my death scene, etched into my brain for good. Everyday I looked at that picture first, for some reason I knew it was important, I _killed_ myself to save another. That other holding the only thing the dream me cared for. _Roxas_.

So now looking at the red hair flying about as the man placed both of his hands up and out from his sides, black coat being scorched as the flames ate away at the fabric, I felt a pang of fear. I knew that was me burning, that the white beings around me were trying to kill me, but I didn't think about that. No, all that I could feel, could think of was the burning sensation that pulsed through my body as I pretty much committed suicide.

It was the same as today with Roxas.

Shaking my head I walked over to my closet and grabbed my sweats and red tank top. Quickly removing my dark wash skinnies and black and red t-shirt I put on my new set of clothes and bolted out of my room

* * *

><p>I walked into the kitchen to find Roxas over the stove stirring the pot that had the sauce in it. Getting a good look at his figure I rose my hand to my flurry of red spikes, rubbing my head. I often did this when I was nervous, and <em>man<em> was I nervous. I got this god in front of me, and what am I wearing? Clothes for sleeping in.

It was probably better this way, us being friends. Who would ever believe me when I said 'I dreamed about you before we met, you wanna go out?' I resisted a chuckle as I glanced over Roxas' body. For a painter I had a very keen eye for details, like heat hit his face his hips swayed slightly to one side. His legs were skinny but firm, I guess he was an athlete, or something that required a lot of physical activity. I sighed, walking over to the cabinet looking for the spaghetti pasta to start cooking.

I felt Roxas' eyes on me as I reached up to the top shelf to grab the pasta in question. I could feel it on my lower back like he was burning me with his eyes. I don't think he realizes that I know, because right when I turned over he looked back at the pot he was stirring.

"Hey," I called. "How long have you've been stirring that?"

Roxas looked at me. "For too long." I snorted. "Probably a minute and a half." he answered more honestly.

"Hey, it takes time to look good for guests, especially when said guest wants me in bed." I glared at him. "It's your fault that you've been waiting."

Roxas cocked his eyebrow. "Oh really?" He challenged. "It took you 5 fives to change because you wanted to look good?" He laughed at his own commented, or my reaction to glare at him harder. "Sure, it's not like were dating or anything."

The low blow he never thought would hurt. I felt like someone ripped out my heart and threw it in that pot Roxas was stirring. I tried my best to ignore it, I really did, but wound was too deep and I let out a low - and hopefully inaudible - sob.

I grabbed the pot for the spaghetti and put some water in it after walking over the stove to turn on the element. Roxas didn't say a word as worked my way through the kitchen, he waited until I was sitting, waiting for the water to boil. "Terra said that you've had a rough life." It was a statement, not a question and it tore me up inside. I never even said anything about my personal life to Terra, or even Zemyx. It felt, odd.

"What do you mean Roxas?"

Roxas hesitated, probably looking for the right words to soothe me. "Well Terra said you used to always have nightmares when you were little and what said in the car, well I kinda put the two together."

I looked at him, he was turned from the stove looking me in the eye. Genuine caring was place inside those blue orbs, along with another one. The emotion was rich, and pure but I couldn't place it. "I still do have the nightmares, though they're different now than before. Before they were about this hooded person talking to me and then vanishing before my eyes, later in the dream I would always see the same hooded person taking off their hood to see my brother. I was happy that he was alive, until well, he died in a pit of flames. I was watching and did nothing to help my brother, I felt the sadness creeping on my skin, the sorrow pulse through my veins and the anger I had to who started the fire..." I fell silent, not wanting to continue.

"Who set the fire Axel, did you know?" Roxas walked away from the stove to put his hand on my back. It was comforting, in a friendly way. Fully Platonic.

"Yes, it was always him. Reno always committed suicide to protect me and the people with me. He always died protecting me."

"You must really love you're brother."

I smiled at him. He asked no questions about how the dream were different, just asked if I remembered any details and the last time I remember having that dream. "That version of it hasn't happened since I was twelve."

"And the version that happens now?"

"Yesterday."

Roxas chuckled. "No wonder you collapsed today. You're sleep deprived."

I laughed at that. Sure, it was a weird thing to say at the moment, but I felt like that was his way of taking in everything.

* * *

><p>Soon everything was finished and we both were sitting at the kitchen table eating our own bowls of spaghetti and meatballs. We made extra food, since I'm use to making for three and Roxas cooks for five, so I decided to welcome into the insanity of our world, spaghetti style.<p>

I walked over the stove, looking like I was about grab more food. Well technically I was, just not for eating. Instead I turned around and whipped the spaghetti at Roxas' head. I missed, and it landed in his shirt. I laughed and grabbed more and flung it across the room, trying to nail him in the face. He ran off to the fridge, opening it to hide his upper half and grabbed some ketchup from the door. He left his hiding place and squirted the bottle on me and my awesome red tank top. I smirk and went over the sauce, picking up a spoon/mini ladle full and dumping over his head. He steamed running down the hall to the bathroom.

"You're going to get it Axel!" I heard him scream. Laughing I walked into the living room, tearing off my shirt so I didn't damage the couch. After sitting for probably ten minutes, Roxas comes out of the bathroom red in the face with anger. "I swear Axel, you are going to die."

I pretended to shiver. "I'm shaking Roxas! Oh whatever will I do?" I spoke sarcastically. Roxas growled, and backed off. I looked at the clock. "Shit, it's already past ten! You better call your brother to pick you up."

Roxas nodded and pulled out his phone dialing, what must have been, his brother as he walked back into the hallway to talk to him. Roxas paced about the hallway soon after, clearly not liking where this conversation was going. I wanted to walked over there saying that if he has to, he could sleep over here.

"Axel?" I looked up at him down the hallway. "Do you think I could sleep here the night? My brother's at Terra's and my parents aren't coming home until tomorrow. Do you mind?"

I shook my head. "Of course not!" I'm not going to complain to you! "You'll have to sleep on the couch, but it's big enough, or I can grab the blow out."

Roxas looked at me weirdly. "I prefer the blow out." I nodded and went into the basement to grab the god damn thing. Then something hit me. _What the hell is he going to _sleep_ in? _I could give him one of pairs of sweats as he could sleep like that. That shouldn't be a problem, right brain? Nope, no problem at all.

Well of course until he stood in front of me, bare chested and breathing slowly. Yup, _definitely_ not a problem there.

Roxas looked nervous, looking at the bed on the floor in the living room. "Are you sleeping in here, or your room?" he spoke, it was barely audible.

"Well I could bring my mattress in here and sleep in here if you'd like."

"Could you?" Okay, now he's starting to freak me out.

"You okay Roxas?"

Roxas nodded and headed off to my room to grab my over sized mattress.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: I swear to God, this should have been finished two days ago! I'm sorry that I'm not updating as much as I'd like. I'll probably be doing weekly updates instead of daily. Yes, I'm a lazy bum. No, you don't need to tell me. But I will start <strong>_**right **_**now on the next chapter so I can get it out ASAP! I'm just a paranoid little author that's afraid someone might force me to write. It's hard trying to play KH Re:Codded and write fanfiction! You get sooooooo into it that you just can't seem to place the minutes anymore xD**

**Okay, so as you can see Roxas is afraid of something. No what could it be? :p Not telling you until next chapter, it's time to start their awesomely awesome friendship. (Yes Awesomely is a word, just one that isn't in the English Dictionary...) This will probably be longer than I was planning, but you can't change it now :)**

**Yes, my I make mistakes, but unfortunately I'm writing my life in pen so I can't erase my mistakes :D**


	9. Nightmares

**Nightmares**

I watched as Roxas put his head on his pillow and tried to sleep. There was something in his breathing that didn't seem right. He was scared of something, and I don't think I'll be able to find out.

"Roxas?" I called out to him in the darkness. "You okay?"

Roxas moved under his covers in reply, or just trying to avoid the subject. I lifted myself onto my elbow as I watched his shadow move in the dark. Something was definitely wrong. The problem arose in my eternal thoughts of _should_ I poke around his brain and _try_ to find out threw his words. But then the face that arose earlier flashed in my mind.

He seemed so broken when I asked if he was okay. His blue orbs rushing waves of fear in his eyes, following the tide with no control of his own. He looked frozen in his spot, if he didn't nodded his head I thought someone may have paralyzed him.

The thought that he was scared of the dark flooded through my mind at the time, but when I asked if he wanted a lamp on he said he couldn't fall asleep if it wasn't completely dark. But then again it was his first time over here and he might have been lonely at the thought of being in my living with _my _parents coming in at any time. I kicked myself for not seeing it earlier.

So I waited until he breathe went even and slow before I laid down completely on my bed and closed my eyes. I rolled on my side, trying to find a comfortable position. Then something in the dark grabbed my hand. I knew it had to be Roxas, so I tried to take my hand out of his lightly, but he squeezed back tightly. He eventually pulled me into him as he was muttering random words form his dreams. Okay, now I couldn't sleep, _definitely_ going to be sleep deprived tomorrow. Roxas eventually let go and rolled over to his other side and I could finally breathe, he was going to spill the beans about that tomorrow. I don't care if I have to hurt him in the progress.

But I was still on cold waters has his breathing became rugged and started screaming in pain. What the _hell_ is he dreaming about?

I jumped into the blow up mattress and started to shake the sleeping. I looked terrible watching him sleep, not to mention that I would never be able to sleep with that screaming in my ear. When he didn't wake up I went on top of him and rolled him to my head and tried _everything_ I could think of. Nothing seemed to work, I hug him and cooed sweet, comforting words in his ear. He calmed down a bit, but he was still shaking and he was wet with cold sweat. Suddenly he jerked awake, screaming at the top of his lungs, eyes wide open as he started to kick me off. Fear struck his eyes as he looked through me at an invisible opponent, hands nearly clenched together as they seemed to be holding as invisible object.

I pinned him down as he started talking in slurs about how I stole his precious _memories_ and that I should give them back. Before I could even respond he starting flailing about, trying to get me off him - even if it looked like he was trying to run sitting down- and pushed me off of him. But then the haze started to fade from his eyes and his head snapped up as he looked up at me. His eyes widen as he swore under his breathe.

"Sorry." He voice was barely a whisper, rasp for the screaming earlier.

I chuckled. "No problem, I think my neighbours might think I'm a rapist now, but no biggie." I smiled down at him before I asked the dreaded question. "May I ask why you screaming at the top of your lungs and wouldn't wake up after I put ice down your pants?"

Roxas nodded before reaching down his sweats to pull out the ice in question. "I was wondering why it was cold down there." He chuckled before his face turned dead serious. "I often have night terrors in the night, usually its better when I sleep with someone in the same room, even better in the same bed, but sometimes it doesn't work. I usually get them three or four times a week."

I looked at him. _Night Terrors?_ I remember Zexion reading something on it for his Psych class last year. If I remember it was more prone for children to have them, but teenagers could and have them worse than most kids. They woke up screaming and had hallucations while their eyes were open, and that explained what just happened. I nodded before pulling the covers over me.

"What are you-" Roxas started, trying to leave my mattress to his. I wasn't going to let him.

"You said it was better when you slept in bed with someone, well here you go." I smiled. "No need to thank me."

Roxas rolled his eyes. "You're such a weirdo."

"Hey, it comes with the charm." I said, a wide smile plastered on my face. I didn't think about earlier today, that didn't matter. What matter was that Roxas was going to sleep, perfectly safe, thanks to me.

He nudged my arm before drifting off to sleep. "Do you mind if I leaned against you. Your bed is kinda small."

I laughed, pulling him close to my chest. I often thought I would do this with my lover, or snuggle with my boyfriend after a nap. _Never_ did I imagine this would happen. Still, I had my sleep blonde angel in my arms. All _mine_ until the morning sun arose for a new day. Tomorrow was a new day, with more problems ahead, but then I had hope to making Roxas mine. I just hope that Terra doesn't come barging through the door tomorrow morning, or at all.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's notes: Hey! I know this is short, but I felt like that was a good place to end the chapter. Them snuggling with Axel's thoughts on that situation. Hopefully it takes your needs and I'll start working on the next chapter!<strong>

**I was going to make Roxas have insomnia, because I have an obsession with that sleeping disorder. Unfortunately it didn't fit with what I planned :'( Oh well, maybe another fic ;D**

**'Tomorrow' is a new day for them. They will be joining VenTer (VenXTerra) for a day out in town! If you have places you want them to go that are either near you or you want to go to, Review it to me. Or message me, whatever floats your boat xD I'll put in up to three ideas min, because I have place they **_**have**_** to go as well.**

**Also, I would like to tell you now that I might not be posting anytime soon because my team is going to the Playoff finals and I'm going to be working on be either training or working. I'll try my hardest, I want the next one out before Saturday, but I can't make any promises DX**


	10. Remembering

**Remembering**

I woke up the next morning to an empty bed. I swore under my breathe as I Roxas was no where to be seen, it wouldn't have scared me if he didn't have constant Night Terrors. He could be hallucating about his nightmares and I'm nowhere to protect from the real world, and himself. I was scared for him.

I got up and saw that the beds were both still in my living room, so that did mean I was dreaming when he stayed the night. I sighed in relief as I got up and walked into the kitchen. To my surprise I found him cooking breakfast in only the sweats I let him borrow. He swayed his hips to an unknown beat as he flipped the pancakes he was working on. I could hear him humming the song as I realized it.

_2am and she calls me_

_Cause I'm still awake_

_"Can you help me unravel my latest mistake?_

_I don't love him_

_Winter just wasn't my season"_

I sang as I touched his shoulder. He turned, laughed and joined in. He harmonized my tenor voice with his own, taking the lower octave as I attempted to reach the alto voice that Anna Natlick sung it in.

_Yeah we walked through the doors,_

_So accusing their eyes._

_Like they have any right to criticize_

_Hypocrites_

_You're all here for the very same reason_

Roxas turned quickly to the stove, and took off the four pancakes on the pan and looked at me. Getting his silent question I nodded, grabbing two more plates and the maple syrup for us. He placed down the plate and sat down next to me as we sang the chorus.

_Cause you can't jump the track,_

_We're like cars on a cable_

_And life's like an hourglass,_

_Glued to the table_

_No one can find the rewind button, girl_

_So cradle your head in you're hands_

_And breathe_

_Just breathe_

_Oh breathe_

_Just breathe_

Smiling at each other we began to eat, making small conversation to buy the time. After we ate Roxas walked into the bathroom to take a shower as I went to find some clothes for him.

I didn't seem like a bad idea, because there was no way in hell I was letting Roxas in my room. It would be _way_ too creepy for him, seeing he was plastered on the walls three times. Let's just say he would think I did that all last night...

Searching through my clothes I realized that my stuff were going to be too big for Roxas to wear, so I headed across the hall to my brother's room and stole a pair of dark jeans and a white T-shirt that was a little big on Kajiki. Then I went and grabbed Kajiki's blue-ish green hoodie that I knew would make Roxas' eyes shine. Taking them to the bathroom I knocked.

Roxas' called back, saying he was just about to leave the shower and opened the door in just a towel. My jaw dropped at the tone of his muscles, especially after getting a good close up view of them. To stop myself from getting _too_ excited, I pushed the clothes into Roxas' hands and ran into my room.

I walked quickly to my dresser, grabbing a pair of boxers and jeans, moving to my closet in seconds. I pushed through the clothes as I found the perfect black shirt. I was collared and I knew which grey shirt I'd wear under it, but something was pushing me to wear all black.

I looked over at my bed, which held the rest of my clothes I was going to wear, to notice they were all dark shades. My jeans were a very dark wash, nearly looking black, and even though no one would see them, my boxers were a very dark colour of grey.

I walked over to my calendar, to see if I was remembering, but not really remembering something. Then the day struck me, this was the day Saix killed himself. I remember the call he gave that night he did it, the frantic goodbyes he kept saying as I tried to find out where he was. He never told us anything, none of us, most of all me, his _best friend_. They found him in the morning with a book with my name written on it.

The book was all the songs he wrote about his dreams, he often would ask me about mine so he could try and write about other things, and I did tell him. He was the only person I trusted him with it. The police gave it to me, as if it was his last wish for me to have it.

On the last page of the book, written on the cover, was a poem. It was short, only eight lines, and had his final wish to me underneath it. I could remember those words, as they were etched in my brain.

_**Hold your head high as the rain pours down  
><strong>__**Stand your ground against the toughest winds now  
><strong>__**For you see there are people running away,  
><strong>__**May it be from the water, the earth or even the pain  
><strong>__**You look up and see there is a l rainbow ahead  
><strong>__**Even after the rain is shed  
><strong>__**So keep treading through the thunder that calls  
><strong>__**And watch the skies battle through it all**_

Still the words of the poem didn't sting as much as what was written under it. Four words that made me cry so hard for my friend to come back to me.

_**I wasn't strong enough - Saix**_

I never knew what had happened to make him do that. Never did he say anything that he was thinking about it, wanted so sort of relief from. I took me three years to find out that his father had abused him and his mother, so he and his mom ran off and committed the crime.

As I removed my eyes from the paper, I walked over to my desk and pulled out the book in question. I flipped open to the page I wanted and cried.

The knock on the door was what snapped me back to reality.

"Axel? You okay? I've been calling your name for a couple of minutes, you can go in the shower now!"

I laughed, I really went out of it. "Sorry, I was just thinking." I replied as I left my room. "I sort of zoned out."

Roxas nodded and headed to the living room, to wait patiently.

* * *

><p>I walked into the shower and put on the cold water. Even after remembering my best friend's death, Roxas' clear blue orbs gave me hope. That what Saix said in his poem was right, there was a rainbow ahead. Four years of mourning and I finally get some happiness back in my life. Even if it was small.<p>

_May he turn 21_

_On the base of Fort Bliss_

_"Just a day"_

_He says to the flask in his fist_

_Ain't been sober,_

_Since maybe October of last year_

I ran my hands through my hair and shampooed it, white streams flowing down my body as I continued to sing the song that I needed to most right now. The song that Roxas needed last night

_Here in town you can tell_

_He's been down for awhile_

_But, my god,_

_It's so beautiful when that boy smiles_

_Wanna hold him_

_Maybe I'll just sing about it_

I stepped out of the shower, noticing how quick I made it. I looked myself in the mirror and sighed.

_Cause you can't jump the track,_

_We're like cars on a cable_

_And life's like an hourglass,_

_Glued to the table_

_No one can find the rewind button, boys_

_So cradle your head in you're hands_

_And breathe_

_Just breathe_

_Oh breathe_

_Just breathe_

The eyes on the other side of the mirror were mocking me. I wanted to scream as I thought through everything that happened four years ago. Then a saying pop into my head. '_Live and let die_'

_'There's a light at each end_

_Of this tunnel' we shout_

_Cause your just as far in_

_As you'll ever be out_

_And these mistake you've made_

_You'll make them again_

_If you only try turning around_

Did I really want to let the memory of Saix go? Was he that worthless to me that I could just throw him under the bus? No, he was worth more than I though possible. Sure, sometimes we fight, argue and bicker, I think he's a jerk or pansy as we walked together. But no one was there more than Saix. He was my savior. I knew that if he was here with me now, he'd take me in and make sure nothing would happen. He was the first person I told when I thought I was gay. He just laughed and said 'give it time' and I did. He was the best person to talk to, about _anything._

_2am and I'm still awake,_

_Writing a song_

_If I get it all down on paper,_

_It's no longer inside of me_

_Threaten the life it belongs to_

_And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd_

_Cause these words are my dairy screaming out loud_

_And I know that you'll use them,_

_However you want to._

I looked back at the mirror and saw it smile. Saix is still here, as he always was. Maybe not where I want him to be, maybe not in where he should be, but there inside my long lost heart.

_Cause you can't jump the track,_

_We're like cars on a cable_

_And life's like an hourglass,_

_Glued to the table_

_No one can find the rewind button now_

_Sing it if you understand_

_And breathe_

_Just breathe_

_Oh breathe_

_Just breathe_

I quickly got changed and walked out to meet Roxas in the living room.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: Okay, this was not how I actually wanted to do this. But after reading Learning to Believe's new chapter and found out what happened to QuinntheEskimo I felt like I needed to change this whole chapter and dedicate it her. If you ever read this, you're <strong>_**never**_** alone. I'm sure your friend is smiling down on you right as I type this.**

**Anyways, I was going to make Xion be the one who died, but then I remembered in BBS Lea and Isa (Axel and Saix) were really tight and I'm pretty sure it was Isa's idea to join forces with Mansex XD so it fit that Saix would do this. As for the poem, that too is for QuinntheEskimo and I wrote it during a very bad thunderstorm, hence why it's about rain. **

**As I promised last chapter, **_**next**_** chapter will be out on the town. So far I have three locations they are going to and I need 2 more! xD And candy, I looked it up yesterday and it happens in the spring, so it doesn't work :(**

**BTW, if this is bad, or grammatically incorrect, I am sorry. Because of my near pass out playing my last regular season game today, I was **_**very**_** tired while I wrote this. Tell me if you catch any problems and I'll fix them ASAP**


	11. Noodles, Heights and Gravesites

**Noodles, Heights and Gravesites**

When I got into the kitchen, I saw Ven and Terra sitting with Roxas. Both of the blonde boys were blushing as Terra moved about the living room, snickering. I noticed that he plopped himself down on the mattresses as I walked into the room. Terra eyed my outfit quickly before going wide-eyed in recognition. The twins looked confused at the changes Terra's attitude. I smiled at them before turning to Terra.

"Did you knock before entering?" I teased, already knowing the answer he was gonna give me. Well that and what actually happened.

"Duh! Who do you think I am? Roxas answered the door." I heard Ven snicker in the background.

"Oh please Terra, if you didn't leave the car first I would have been able to hold you back! Who do you think you are barging into people's houses?"

"Hey! It's only Axel's house! I've been doing it since we were kids!" Terra defended himself, I only nodded in agreement. He _had _been doing this since we were little. "It's not like he didn't know it was going to happen."

Ven and Roxas gave him a look, then Roxas' face went bright red. So we were both happy that we woke up _before_ the crazies came. I giggled at the sight of him as we looked at each other, the couple in the room looked at us oddly. "What's your problem?" Terra asked me, confusion marked completely on his flawless face.

I laughed at that. "Oh nothing, just happy you didn't show up when I was just in my boxers is all." I glanced quickly at Terra. "Again."

"Hey! That's not fair! You said I could come in!"

"No I said you could come in _after _I put on some pants."

Terra sighed and looked at Roxas, "Why were you laughing?"

Roxas' blushed deeper, "Just happy you didn't almost walk into me in the shower."

I snapped my head in Terra's direction. He was going to explain _that_ when we were alone, even if it means me having to tie him to a chair.

Ven laughed and caught everyone's attention. "Don't you think we should get going? It's already past noon." He pointed to the clock above the flat screen TV. "We should get going so we can have lunch at this new noodle place down at the bridge."

Terra nodded as he threw me my leather jacket he borrowed last week. "Thought you might want that back, by the way." He smiled as I put it on, taking off my collared shirt. That only left me with my dark grey tank top underneath it, which was fine by me. The temperature was falling, but it was still warm enough to wear suck an outfit.

Roxas looked at me, giving me a once over, before following his brother out of my house. Me and Terra followed behind, Terra trying to ask what happened today, or maybe if anything happened last night. "Really Axel? Nothing happened? We came in today expecting Roxas to be disgruntled, instead we find him smiling like his face is gonna split into two."

"Well I guess he really like last night. The food fight, the conversation and the distraction from his night terrors."

"So he told you?"

"No, he was acting weird before we went to sleep. I stayed up until he was out of it and he started, well he started to have one. It scared the hell out of me, and then he just _snapped_ out of it. Woke up and told me what happened and why he wanted me to sleep in the living room with him."

"So why is he cheerful about it?"

I shrugged, "I don't know. The only thing that happened from him making me breakfast and last night was that we slept in the same bed for the rest of the night."

"Wait, you let him sleep in your room? _And _then he made you breakfast?"

"He didn't sleep in my room, my mattress was in the living room _or_ are you blind as well as can't feel anything?"

He snickered as we both got into his car, canning the conversation into something at we all could all talk about.

* * *

><p>The new noodle shop in town was by the bridge, so taking our car to the public parking lot we grabbed one by the bridge. When I mean bridge, you guys are probably thinking a wide pavement bridge that cars go on to get across. There are those types of bridges in Hakumei Machi, however we went to the only pedestrian bridge in town. It wasn't as wide, however it was as long as an ordinary bridge in which cars pass on. One side held downtown while the other was filled with the cherry blossom park, as well as other things.<p>

So when we got out of the car, Ven and Roxas both looked out at the bridge in awe. I loved the way Roxas' lips moved when he smirked, a crooked smile that made him look cocky, in if it wasn't it's attention.

The only way to snap _both_ of them out from the beauty of the ocean and the bridge, Terra walked over to Ventus and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. Ven blushed and looked up in panic, clearly not liking the PDA that Terra was doing. I really couldn't blame them for it, especially after what happened to them in Mabushii Senzai and those homophobic people.

Still as we walked down the street towards the couple were holding hands, Ven's face filled with love and hesitation. It was cute, if you didn't compare it to Terra's hunger look. It was completely filled with lust, it made me want to puke.

Roxas snickered beside me. "You wanna get a separate table?"

"If they keep this up? _Definitely_."

Roxas smiled and he hurried down the street, almost missing the shop on the corner. I laughed at him as my hope for getting that boy under my arm rose. I. Might. Have. A. Chance!

So when Ven and Terra started kissing while we wanted for the host to appear, I nodded at Roxas signaling that I wanted that separate table. They can fend for themselves.

"How many?" The hostess asked, eyeing the couple behind us.

"Two please." Roxas said, without missing a beat. Clearly he didn't want to be them longer than necessary. The hostess nodded, scratching off a table on her chart thingie as she directed us to the dinning area. It was smaller, compared to the other rooms we past by, and more calming in the colours. It was pure lime green with forest green patterns of silhouettes.

"Your waiter will be here shortly to take your order." The hostess spoke as she smiled and walked away, most likely to see if the lovebirds had stop harassing the other's lips. I felt sorry for her.

Roxas didn't say a word as we both scanned the menus we had gotten, so I felt that their was nothing to say. However the tension kept turning for the worst, until it exploded into an awkward moment. I squirmed in my chair, feeling like I should say _something_, but I couldn't find any words. And even when I had a topic starter, the words just didn't seem to come out. The atmosphere just screamed '_Date!'_ that everything seemed more awkward than usual. Damn room.

So when the waiter came up in her mini black tight skirt and purple low cut V-neck T-shirt, I was relieved. Who knew that one _random_ stranger could cut the tension I was feeling for a good three minutes?

"Hello, my name is Cameron and I'll be your waiter today. Have you found out what drinks you would like?"

I nodded quickly. "I would like a Shirley Temple." I heard Roxas chuckle. "Yes, I know such a _manly _drink."

Roxas started laughing harder, when he finally calm down he looked at Cameron. "I'll have a Coke with lime please."

The waiter nodded and continued to write on her pad of paper. "Do you guys know what you want, or do you want to wait until I give you your drinks?"

I looked at Roxas who nodded. "We'll now, thanks. Let's see I'll have a Shrimp Mai Fun Soup and a Fried Egg Roll as an Appetizer."

The waiter looked at Roxas who replied. "And I'll have an Udon with Seafood and some Fried Shrimp as an Appetizer." The waiter nodded again as she wrote it all down.

"Thank you, I'll be back with your drinks."

We both smiled at the waiter as she walked away, towards the kitchen no doubt and the awkward tension began to build again.

I smiled at him, waiting for him to something, _anything_ to ease this awkward tension. He stared back, amused by something, then he placed his hand on mine. They laid rested on the table, in plain view to everyone in the restaurant to see. My hope skyrocketed and I felt my blood boil, my Jolly Ranger began to dance around happily as my thoughts drifted away into the bliss of us. _Us._ However life is cruel to me, and Roxas utter those terrible words that could have broken my shattered heart into million more pieces.

"Those girls over there are staring at you. You don't have to thank me."

Those words snapped me out of my fantasies so fast as my whole body became depressed. My hope turned into my heart, shattered, because one thing was clear. We. Will. Only. Be. _Friends._ He held my hand to tell those girls I would never be interested, to show that I'm taken. It was completely platonic and it _killed_me. But then the perfect idea popped into my head. I'm a genius!

Quickly looking over at the girls, I smiled. They swooned, giggle at each other. I mentally chuckled. Looked at Roxas, _faking_ endearment I whispered "I don't think handholding is telling them I'm taken. If you want we could something more, _sexual_."

Roxas cocked a brow. "Like?"

"Kissing."

His smile dropped for a split second, before come back twice as bright. "Fine, but on one condition."

"Which is?" I asked, nervous as hell.

"You have to come to this festival next weekend with me."

I raised an eyebrow. Really? That was it? "Why?"

Roxas lowered his head, clearly depressed. "Well I want to go, but Ven is going with Terra and I don't want to be a third wheel."

I laughed, leaning in closer. "Don't pout Roxy, I'll go." I smirked, leaning closer and closer. When we weren't even half a foot apart, breathe tickling my nose, the waiter walks in and drops our drink and appetizers on the table. We flew apart, both flushed and shaken.

"Shirley Temple for you, and a Coke with lime for you. And I have your appetizers as well, Fried Shrimp and Egg Rolls." She said before walking away again, before stopping at another table.

Roxas looked at his food before muttering something under his breathe. I think it was something like, "I guess it wasn't meant to be."

I chuckled at the tension building up again before leaning in and whispering, "We could try that again."

Roxas shook his head pointing to the girls leaving. "We don't have to." He said, looking as dejected as before.

* * *

><p>We walked out of the noodle shop, completely full. I learned some things about Roxas as we talked in the restaurant, like he wants to be an artist so he can show the world that things aren't always what you see and that you should look beyond the little box you know as life. He even got to me better than some of my friends, which was weird. I trust this kind of stranger more than my best friends, there must be the work of the Fates.<p>

So that's why we decided to walk all the way back to the car to the bridge to talk some more. We both expected Terra and Ventus to be longer in the shop anyways. They can't stop touching each other long enough to eat their food properly.

So that's how we got ourselves swinging our legs which dangled below us, watching the pure blue ocean waves crash against the ashen rocks playing 20 questions. Or at least were.

"I think I got to know you enough Axel, I think I can just relax and take this beautiful scene in silence."

I laughed, nodded. "Well I might know everything, but I think that's enough for today. Hey do you want to play a game called Cosmic Number?"

Roxas looked at me with his blue eyes, they reminded me of the ocean water crashing against the rocks below us. "How do you play?"

"It's simple really, you just figure out how to get the cosmic number."

"And how to I do that?"

"Well logic of course." I snickered at him. "Pick a random _whole_ number."

"Seventy two."

"Okay, seventy two is ten, ten is three, three is five, five is four and four is the cosmic number."

"Four? Really?"

"Yup. Do you want me to do another?"

"Yes, how about fifty five?"

"Okay then, fifty five is nine, nine is four and four is the cosmic number."

Roxas pouted, placing three fingers on his chin. He looked deep in thought before he released his position and pulled his hair. "I don't get it!"

"Well the cosmic number is four because there are four letters in four." a familiar voice spoke behind us. I turned to see Zexion holding a box in one arm and his hand connected to Demyx's. Ven and Terra were once again hand holding, but now Ven didn't look hesitant as a huge smile plastered on his face. "Axel, I brought the stuff."

I nodded quickly before anyone cold ask. "Thanks, I guess we'll go now. Demyx do you think you can watch the twins while we pay a visit?"

The sandy blonde man nodded, pushing some of his mullet styled hair out of his face. "Sure, just don't stay too long."

_I wanted you to know  
><em>_I love the way you laugh  
><em>_I wanna hold you high  
><em>_And steal your pain away  
><em>_I keep your photograph,  
><em>_I know it serves you well  
><em>_I wanna hold you high  
><em>_And steal your pain_

I nodded and glanced back at Zexion. I was too shocked earlier to notice what he and Demy were wearing. They both wore dark wash jeans, however Zexion wore a tight fit black V-neck shirt with a dark grey vest opposed to Demy's black and red Simple Plan shirt. "Thanks."

Roxas and Ven looked confused. "Where are you guys going?"

I quickly answered before the crazies. "To visit an old friend, he lives by the cherry trees on the other side. We haven't been there for awhile."

Ven's eyes widen in shock as Roxas nodded, clearly still confused. "Okay, we'll meet up later."

I nodded, "Of course."

* * *

><p><em>The worst is over now<br>__And we can breathe again  
><em>_I wanna hold you high,  
><em>_You steal my pain away  
><em>_There's so much left to learn,  
><em>_And no one left to fight  
><em>_I wanna hold you high  
><em>_And steal your pain _

It had been one year since I even looked at the tombstone in front of me. The name carved on the perfect ice blue marble brought tears to weld in my eyes. Zexion held out a box with what I asked him for.

I took the paper and pen and quickly wrote a poem, in answer to his, which told him everything about today.

_**My head is high,  
><strong>__**Taller then the clouds  
><strong>__**For the rain doesn't reach  
><strong>__**My lonely tears now  
><strong>__**And I only hear the thunder,  
><strong>__**Calling your name  
><strong>__**Whispering through,  
><strong>__**The clear skies today  
><strong>__**So show me that rainbow  
><strong>__**You wanted me to see  
><strong>__**And I'll show you a smile,  
><strong>__**Bright as can be  
><strong>__**Cause I don't run away,  
><strong>__**From the pain anymore  
><strong>__**As I found my shining sun  
><strong>__**The glimmer in the dark**_

And underneath it all, just like in his poem to me. I wrote a personal message that too answered his. And as I wrote it, I felt as if he was right there beside me, watching me. The only thing was, I saw that rare smile on face as he no doubt read my message.

_**But you were, stronger than me - Axel**_

When I was done I grabbed the box back from Zexion and placed my poem in, along side Saix's notebook, and dug into my pockets for my favourite lighter. Tossing into the shallow box, me and Terra dug a small hole on top of Saix's grave and put the box in, throwing a fire lily and blue petunia, before filling the hole with dirt.

_Cause I'm broken  
><em>_When I'm open  
><em>_And I don't feel like  
><em>_I am strong enough  
><em>_Cause I'm broken  
><em>_When I'm lonesome  
><em>_And I don't feel right  
><em>_When you're gone away_

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: Oh my GOD! I can't believe that happened. I was going to post on Sunday but then <strong>_**somehow,**_** I still have no clue how, my USB deleted all of the text on the file holding the chapter. I had to re-write like a good 2/3s not to mention it took me awhile to think up the poem in this chapter. It had to be perfect.**

**And by the way, this is only half of the day. I had like seven places (technically six) they were going to so I decided to cut it in half. That should be out by the end of the week. **_**Should.**_** And because I am a lazy writer, I would like ideas to inspire me for the festival name. And yes candy, that's where **_**it**_** is gonna happen! ;)**

**Oh and if you are wondering why I wrote '**_**whole **_**numbers' it's because everytime I ask one of my friends (Mainly one of them) they always give me one's with decimals XD**


	12. Our Spot

**Our Spot**

We stood in front of Saix's grave in silence, I was kneeling on the ground with Terra behind me and his hand on my back while Zexion stood to the side of the tombstone, fingers feeling the carving we had done ourselves. I closed my eyes and whispered one sentence, hoping I would get a reply but knowing I wouldn't. _I hope you're happy up there._

The wind blew in our direction and my red hair flew in my face, as I shook it away I caught a glimpse of something I couldn't believe.

Roxas, _pissed_, was in front of me.

His murderous glare was one I normally would give him credit for, _if_ it wasn't pointing on me fully. I coward behind the tombstone, _hoping_ it would make a difference. I knew it wouldn't. I didn't exactly do anything wrong, but I didn't do anything right either. So I needed to pay the price, I was okay with that; I just didn't know what I was going to pay up.

"Axel, you idiot! You think that's it's alright to leave us behind while you go and pray in front of a random tombstone?" he shouted, clearly not putting two and two together. I chuckled, sure the situation wasn't funny, but the way he was acting was. "Do you think this is funny?"

I shook my head. "No, that's not it. This situation is perfectly humour free, however you on the other hand are just laughable beyond belief!" I managed to choke out in between laughs.

"Oh and how am I being funny?"

I snorted and pointed to the tombstone. "Meet my friend Saix, he killed himself four years ago."

Roxas' jaw dropped. "I didn't mean-"

"I know Roxas, that's what was funny." I smiled, looking around. "Saix loved this side of the bridge more, the cherry blossom make this place beautiful in the spring. We would often go to the park and do our thing."

Roxas smiled and took my hand and pulling me to my feet. I smiled at the gesture and took his hand and kept it afterwards, pulling him towards the park in question. "This way." I whispered, pulling more urgently.

I could hear the others chuckling at my attitude, Terra mostly, and their random comments. I think it was Terra that left me wondering, "I just wish they would get on with it."

On with it? He is definitely answering questions later, when it was just the two of us. Now how to torture him... Let's see hot sauce, maybe my new lighter, oh and don't forget tying him up.

As I was thinking of awesome torture methods, I forced Roxas along the graveyard. We didn't stop until I saw my old solitude in front of me. It was an abandoned park, no one to bug me and Saix in our own little world. There were a high pine tree we used to climb, I was able to get awesome high shots of the ocean shore at the beach under the cliff. Saix often got inspiration from looking put into the ocean waves.

I smiled at the memory as I scanned the rest of the park. The creaking song of the swings still matched the time of the crashing waves. The three slides still looked hazards, but this was my _home_, my safe place.

"Where are we?" Roxas asked, looking for the rest of the group.

"My secret place, come on." I answered, pulling him towards the pine tree.

"Axel! I can move on my own! You don't have to pull me!" Roxas started pulling my hand away. "God Axel! Let go of my hand!" I looked down at it and flinched, hand letting go immediately.

"Sorry." I looked up at the tree. "I hope this makes up for it." I said as I started climbing. "The view is amazing."

I started to climb in silence, hoping that Roxas would follow. Cause to tell the truth, the view was beyond amazing.

"Whoa," Roxas replied to the beauty of the scene around us. I smiled down at him." Do you think I can take shots for some paintings?"

I laughed at that. "Sure, no problem." And I continued to climb higher, I stopped when I reached the safest branch to sit on with a completely straight 90 degree angle coming from the tree. I sat down and shimmied down the branch and grabbed one of my sketch pads there. "Or, you can do it now."

Roxas' face lit up at the sight of my art kit up here. "Are you sure?"

I nodded. "Positive. I personally think you deserve it."

Roxas looked confused. "For what?"

I chuckled at his voice. "For helping me find the light at the end of the tunnel. I believe if I find your brother looking for Terra yesterday, my life would still suck. Just by knowing you, I think my life has been brighter. I don't need my mask of smoky flames anymore. You know what! I'm going to tell my parents today!"

Roxas' eyes widen. "You sure about that Axel? You said yesterday that if they threw you out, you have no where to go." His voice was filled with concern.

I shrugged. "I'll find a way. I'm not going to sit around and wait for them to okay with it. Plus, they aren't home today so I'll have to call them. If they say to get out of the house I'll be able to find one within 24 hours before they are scheduled to land."

Roxas still looked uneasy. "What if they you can't find one in town? How are you going to be able to live without us, without me?"

I let the _me_ part slide at the moment. "If that happens Roxas, I'll be here everyday waiting. You got me?" Roxas nodded.

He looked out into the sky. "I used to have these weird dreams when I was younger, I looked like I had a double life. One was with a black coat and two best friends and another without the coat and three best friends. When I woke up I started to believe it was real and that they were out there somewhere waiting, all three of them. That they knew me and I would know it was them, but the weird thing isn't that, it was that there was this guy with red hair that I knew before any of them, and I couldn't see his face. Don't get me wrong he had a hood, but even when the hood was down I still couldn't see his face."

I looked at him with caring eyes. "Did you guy sit on top of a clock tower to watch the sun set?"

Roxas nodded slowly before answering. "The one thing I remember the most was a quote of what the man said. I never heard his voice, but I remember him saying it."

I looked at him for awhile, he didn't keep going so I quickly asked. "What did he say?"

"'Bet you don't know why the sets red. You see, light is made up of different colours. And out of all those colours, red is the one that travels the farthest.' It's a weird thing to remember from a dream, but I feel like it holds a bigger purpose then anything else I've seen."

For some reason I remember that line as well, not from a point of view like Roxas. I know I've never heard it, but somewhere deep inside of me, I feel like I've said it. "Well I guess you should follow your heart. Many people don't understand that concept in life and live miserable. I think that's why my brother said something about being gay, he didn't want to be the make belief son he wasn't anymore."

Roxas finally looked up at me. "I guess that's what I'm trying to say. No matter what happens I have your back, especially after what you did last night."

We both blushed at the memory. "Thanks Roxas. Now that I think about it, when do you come into town?"

Roxas looked around the sky once more. "Tomorrow my dad is bringing our stuff to the house. Me and Ven were going to sleep there the night and we were going to unpack when my dad got there."

"Great then, I guess me and Terra are definitely coming over to help you unpack then!" I smirked, as I moved closer to him. "And I think we should get down now. I've kidnapped you so they must be looking for us, and I really don't want them to find this place."

"How did you find it?"

"Long story, I'll tell you as soon as you move your sexy little butt down the tree."

"My _sexy_ little butt?"

"Yes, as a man I think your butt looks sexy. Have a problem with that?"

"No!" He squeaked. "I'm just wondering when you would have looked at my ass."

I gave him a sly grin. "Well that's for me to know and you to find out."

He pouted and started moving down the tree to the bottom. "I will find out and you will pay for it if I was in your sweats!" I started balling of laughter.

* * *

><p>We managed to find the group exiting the wax museum on the other side. Terra was whispering something in Ven's ear and smirking as Ven started to laugh. Either Terra turned into a comedian or he's talking about earlier.<p>

"Hey look! The love birds are back!" Terra shouted.

Demyx and Zexion looked at us and smiled before starting to kiss. Ven giggled as he turned to his boyfriend. I took a quick glance at Roxas, he was slightly pink around the ears and he looked like he was about to exploded into an angry fit. Ven just smiled and looked at him.

"Oh, so you did get some!"

This statement caused a number of things. Firstly, Zemyx whipped their heads towards the sound of heavy breathing that wasn't their own, as soon as they saw Roxas' face they bolted from where they were to hold him back. Secondly, I looked at Terra's shocked expression as he moved Ventus into a safer position. Thirdly, I moved Zemyx away from Roxas and gave him a bear hug to stop him from murdering his brother. Lastly, Roxas flailed against me as he tried to rip into his brother.

When he finally clamed down I whispered. "Don't worry, they're just teasing you."

Roxas nodded. "I know, it's just..." His voice faded away as he fisted his hands into my leather jackets. He quickly recovered, releasing me and whispering an "I'm sorry."

I just shrugged and guided him to the rest of my friends, no _our_ friends. We decided that it was time for dinner so we kicked it to the cars.

* * *

><p>Surprisingly when we reached our cars, Zexion's silver Porsche was sitting right next to Terra's car. Zexion shrugged it off as a coincidence, but knowing him he put it there on purpose.<p>

Anyways, we headed off to the old 70's dinner down the street from Demyx's apartment building. It made these best burgers _ever_ in the town, and well we were all craving some burgers.

The waiter was dressed in a typical 70's school girl outfit. Her hair done in pigtails to give the 27 year old a more younger look. We all knew who she was and how she acted, but that still change her attitude towards me and Terra.

"So handsome-" Tiffany placed her hand on my shoulder, clearly trying to flirt. "I hear your still single. How is it that a guy as hot as you can't seem to get a girlfriend?"

Demyx snorted. "Because he's not into girl Tiff, you of all people show know that. You've been trying to get his pants for months now."

Tiffany puffed her face out. "Fine, would all of you like the usual?" She looked at all of us who nodded and noticed the twins. "Oh and what would you two like?" She asked, leaning in to show her breasts to the boys in front of her.

Ven looked disgusted as he coward into Terra. The brunette put his hand on his shoulder, soothing the frighten boy. I quickly looked at his brother.

Roxas wasn't too happy about this certain situation. I quickly put my hand on his shoulder, holding him down to ensure he didn't do anything harsh or rash. Roxas looked back at me and nodded, I spoke. "You really shouldn't be a cougar and pick on high school guys. Someone might think your a pedo Tiff."

Zexion nodded. "And get these two a burger without cheese and some coke. Oh and personally I think this should be on the house. Wouldn't want to destroy your _perfect_ image here."

Tiffany puffed out and stomped away.

Roxas chuckled. "She better not spit in my food."

"She won't. She might be paying for the meal, but that doesn't include tip." Demyx muttered.

I nodded. "She'll be good the rest of the time. Don't worry about it." I said placing my hand on Roxas' back and moving my hand in circles.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: So I would continue with the dinner, but I'm getting writer's block from this day. So this is the end of the night. The next chapter will just show how Roxas and Ven got home and then start the next day.<strong>

**To those who don't understand the title, the abandoned park is there spot now. Just like the clock tower was their spot in the game. I was gonna make it a clock tower, but I remembered that I made this city/town not have one.**

**Also, as you can see I AM BACK! Sorry that I took two weeks. The first week school just started and I was on this school trip as a TA and we were finalizing stuff so I was pretty jammed with school work and trip meetings. Last week I was up on my school trip to a camp we go to and got back today at like 7pm. I'm falling asleep writing this so the next two chapters I promised those who reviewed, tomorow. I got the next chapter written down, but I just need to type it! Anyways, I'm off to take my well deserved nap.**


	13. Unframed Walls of Art

**Unframed Walls of Art**

It was a blur of street lights and humourous laughter on the way to dropping off the twins after dinner. They led Terra through the streets and said that we should be here around seven the next day. They wanted us here before their parents so we could talk before the awkwardness of Terra meeting the parents.

I personally didn't mind. It was natural when you keep your parents so far away from the relationship as possible. From all the ideas popping through Terra's brain, he was freaking out. Ven was the only person that has gone this far and he didn't want to mess it up by making a wrong impression.

Still thinking about meeting the two people that created Roxas just made my heart beat faster. I was just as nervous as Terra was, only for different reasons. Terra was terrified so he could keep seeing Ven, while I was terrified so I could still have a chance to _date_ Roxas.

So when we stop at the thirteenth house on Windway Avenue, I took in the sight. I made sure every piece of colour, design and structure was deep inside my mind so we could find this place faster. And let me tell you it was beautiful.

The house was one of the more older houses on the block, however it didn't give off that elderly vibe. It struck you as something modern with an olden factor placed into it. The brick was a nice deep red and white brick and the driveway was just redone. The asphalt seemed so pure with all of it's black glory that I felt ashamed to be the one that spoiled floor. Anyways, the door on top of the beige cement patio was a flaming red that was just a shade lighter than the bricks, it held a picture like window so you couldn't see inside the house. It looked like a flower inside of a pot as the moonlight hit the textured features. It was a painter's dream.

So when Terra turned off the car and walked Ven to the door, me and Roxas just watched by the car. It was a short interaction with each other that we both didn't have a heart to break up, so we just watched as they both looked at the door and kissed. Afterwards Ven unlocked the door and they both went inside, of course Roxas bolted towards the door to make it before it slammed shut.

So here I am now, sitting in Terra's car, getting driven home to an empty house where no one would care if I was gone. Okay, Kajiki might care a little, but only because I'm the one who gets him food. Spoiled little brat.

"Oi! Axel! Do you want to me to crash at your place, we can do our post funeral ceremony one last time." Terra flashed his teeth at me as we waited at a red light.

Surprising thing was my response to go into fits of laughter. "Sure Terra, that's sounds like fun."

* * *

><p>We arrived at my house at 9pm and immediately went into action. Terra plastered canvas across my grey basement walls. We often painted on this lovely day of morning, only of the pain we suffered. Today was the last of the sad looking rainbows, gloomy rain clouds, thunder and lightening striking the page. I told Saix that I found my sun, found the rainbow he wanted me to see and I was going to smile back and enjoy life once again. He may have been gone, but not for good.<p>

I can finally feel something again, since Reno left and Saix committed suicide I felt like there wasn't something there. Maybe that was why I didn't have a boyfriend, couldn't find someone to love, because I had something missing that I needed back.

I needed some hope in life.

I needed my heart.

Yes, my heart. As cheesy as this sounds, my heart felt empty and cold inside of my chest. But just like two days ago, it began to flame and heat began to pour into it. Roxas was able to revive the long dead cold within me. He was the bright light in the distance, the red and pink accents in the sunset, the cold breeze on a hot day, and most importantly-

The beating in my chest.

So when me and Terra started painting the canvas of the last of our sorrow that Saix had caused, I couldn't help but think of the new beginning that we will both share. Terra was the brother I've always wanted, what I had with Reno before he left. I had a friend who I could tell anything and never worry where it might end up. Sure, we always teased each other on these facts, but no one else knew what we were talking about.

Terra would always tell me that he wanted at least one sibling, he wanted someone to protect and protect him for the danger out in the world. It actually brought him down. It was this guardian persona that made us all like Terra to begin with, everyone knew he had your back no matter what.

So who wouldn't want him to be your friend, no best friend?

"Axel? I have a question."

"Shoot."

"Do you like Roxas?"

The paint brush I was using hit the ground in slow motion, the stain hit the hard wood floors in a high pitch screech. I could hear my mother yelling already at the mess we made. "Pardon?"

Terra just laughed. "I was just curious man. No need to make a commotion about it."

I nervously giggled and went back to trying to paint one of me and Saix's favourite scene in the abandoned park.

* * *

><p>The next morning went was like any other with Terra. Grumpiness, grumpiness and more grumpiness. I had no idea how Ventus took so much of him, cause at this moment, I wanted to clock the guy.<p>

"Axel, make me breakfast! I'm hungry."

"Yes, master. Of course master. Anything you want master." I replied sarcastically.

"You mean that?" Terra responded, clearly still half asleep.

"Yes, master. Of course master. Anything you want master." I repeated, still sarcastic.

"Then I want you to give me a back massage after breakfast." He smiled, "And if you don't, you have to do whatever I say today, slave"

"Terra, you know I was kidding." I jumped. So he wasn't really half asleep, just didn't want to do manual labour. "And Terra, you and I both know that you and Ven won't be doing much unpacking, unless it's the bed." I winked, elbowing him in the side.

Terra groaned, "I've told you a million times, we haven't gotten that far!" he sighed before he added, "I would have told you if we did."

Finally I got breakfast going, however I didn't give Terra his back massage, what do I look like? A masseuse? After the huge argument on the fact, I glanced at the clock, "Shit Terra, it's already 6:45! We are going to be late!"

Terra and I both bolted to my room to grab some clothes then out of the house to Terra's car. Speeding half of the way there, we managed to make it with seconds to spare.

We both walked up the black asphalt onto the grayish white patio. Terra nodded at me and I knocked on the door three times. I heard a screech, which was probably Ven, and then two yellow blobs through the window. Roxas opened to door in just his pajamas while Ven seemed to be fully dressed.

"Come in guys, we just need a minute." Roxas grumbled. I could totally tell he wasn't a morning person.

Terra nodded and I followed my brunette friend into the house and into the living room. It was a nice red colour, and have the little furniture in the room a little more power. The TV on the dark wooden high table seemed to be the centre piece of the room, for directly across from it was a almost pure white couch and love seat. Me and Terra decided to plop our butts on the love seat.

No more than five minutes later the twins appear and in there nicely fitted outfits for the day. Well okay, 'hot' outfits to be doing physical labour seems to be a better choice in words.

They both looked at us and started laughing, while Ven took Terra's hand and guided him to what would be his room. Roxas looked at me and turned away, so I followed.

The house was pretty small than the exterior gives it credit for, not saying that its small in general, just that I thought it was bigger. So when it only took three turns down a simple looking hallway, I was depressed. Even more to see the great big catastrophe that was Roxas' room.

Saying that a hurricane blew over the room was an understatement. It really just looked like someone sketchpad had exploded all across the floor of the room. There only seemed to be a small space between the bed and the door that was safe to walk on, I'm guessing it was placed there on purpose.

"Wow, you seemed busy over the years. All of these yours?" I asked, it looked like you could filled the bland pale white walls with all the sheets on paper on the floor.

"Well most of them are, the one framed over there is the only thing in here that isn't mine." Roxas pointed to the painting by the door. To me it looked like a sunset in a peaceful time, maybe just after the war break out years before either of us were born.

"I'm guessing that's the centre piece of the room?"

"No, I'm putting that one over there by the door. The centre piece is one of my favourite handmade paintings I'm going to put on the wall beside it." Roxas smiled. It was very cute, but not what I needed to think at the moment. Quickly, before I blushed, I looked over at the huge wall that was going to hold all of the drawings. He sure picked the right wall for the job.

"Are you going to frame all of them?"

Roxas laughed at me. "You kidding? That would take forever, not to mention a lot of money!"

"Then do you mind if I help you?"

Roxas smiled once again. "With this? Not at all."

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: God damn homework, slowing me down. I actually typed all of this at midnight last night and wrote half of the next chapter. That's why it's a day late :'( Also thank you to those who reviewed on this story and everyone who have story alerted. It makes my day when I check my email after school and it says that I have 12 emails from fanfiction because of this story. Absolutely fan-fucking-tastic!<strong>

**Okay, so because I only have half of the next chapter of the story done, it really depends on how well I finish my homework to see if the next chapter will be finished by tomorrow. Sorry guys xD I just really like science and decided to do the Asian Six Pack. For those who have no clue what I am talking about, it's when you take all the sciences and all of the math courses… I know, I'm screwed xD**


	14. Parents

**The Parents**

It took half an hour to find the right paintings to go on Roxas' wall. Most of his work ranged from many different things, not to mention that the blondie over here wanted to continue to put paintings on his wall. It only left no more than 50 paintings on the wall right now. So how the hell were we suppose to narrow down the (at least) 240 paintings on the ground to the 50 that were going up on the wall?

I have no clue how we did it.

It was a blur of smiles and arguments, and most of all the paintings covering the walls. Roxas said that the other walls in his room might eventually get painted as well.

I gave him the idea of what I did to my room, only with a less extreme main wall. Hell I have to idea _why_ I put that on there, let alone where the dreams came from that gave me that idea. Still, it gave the room my own personal touch that can never be copied. It was totally and completely me.

He smiled at me, and then we got into small talk about paintings in general. It amazes me how much of this kid I can love, yet I have no idea who he really is. It's still unclear how my life should be runned and with whom, but now I know who is in it and who isn't, and as of now Roxas is the most important part of it.

Roxas. _My _Roxas. Roxy...

_**I bet you don't know why the sun sets red. You see light is made up of many colours. And out of all of those colours, red is the one that travels the farthest.**_

_**Like I asked! Know-it-all.**_

I shook my head as the voices began, something about them seemed familiar to me. As awkward as it sounds, I'm starting to believe my Super Atheist friend's belief in a past life. Cause there was no way in hell that happened here. Roxas was with me then, and I've never worn that much black in my life.

_**Why'd ya do it Axel?**_

_**Roxas made me feel like I had a heart, and so do you. I'm sorry for all the trouble I caused, go through that portal and go save Kairi.**_

_**I'm not going, not without you!**_

_**You don't really have much of a choice, I'm starting to fade.**_

_**Why Axel?**_

_**That's what happens when you put your whole being into an attack.**_

I fell back as the burning sensation started back upon my skin. The melting feeling started to itch across my skin as the memory became more and more clear, the dream that plagued me as a child. It wasn't Reno that died, it was me, sacrificing myself for the one that Roxas was. We promised to meet here in the next life, me and Roxas. And here we are now. At least that's what it seems like, _if_ my body wouldn't continue to feel like a fire pit.

I looked at Roxas to see he was wide eyed and staring at my left hand. To me it looked like the fire seemed to roar on top of it, and completely out of control.

"Axel, are you okay? Oh my God we better some water on that burn!" Roxas spoke, pushing me out of his still messy room and into the hallway. He then grabbed my arm and pulled me down to the bathroom and pushed me down on the lid closed toilet seat. After that he grabbed my arm again and placed it under the tap and turned on the water. I felt the burn he was talking about, yet I don't remember ever getting one to begin with. But then again, knowing me? I probably forgot...

"Ow, HEY!" I shouted and he refused to turn some sort of heat for the water. It felt like ice touching my sensitive skin. "That hurts Roxas, don't do that anymore!"

"Hush up, its cold water!" He laughed at me. "Stop being such a baby."

"I am not being a baby!" I pouted and yanked my hand away from the faucet. "You're just cruel!"

Roxas laughed off my insult and grabbed the first-aid kit from underneath the sink. "At least let me wrap up your wound and put some anapestic (A/N: i.e. Rubbing alcohol) on so it doesn't get infected."

I rolled my eyes and let him ease his mind as he mended and wrapped my hand before leaving the washroom himself. I smiled at him as I noticed a small tint of a blush appearing from him ears.

**DING DONG**

"Boys! We're home! Did you guys bring friends over to help unpack! I saw a car in the driveway! Ven? Roxas!" A womanly voice yelled from the front door entrance.

"Mom, Terra brought his friend Axel over to help us." I heard Ven speak as me and Roxas walked down the stairs.

"Axel? Well I've heard a lot about you from Terra." Ven's mom shook my hand. "My name is Soraa and this is my husband Jomiki."

Jomiki looked at me and smiled. "Speaking of Terra, where is he Ven?" the man asked.

Ventus blushed. "Well he was helping me do my room and well, I kinda spl-"

"Say no more. I'll go see if I have extra clothes he can borrow." Roxas' mom left to the car with their dad.

* * *

><p>Seeing that the house had general furniture around, me and Terra often brought in boxes of clothes or small things for around the house. The kitchen started to look lively and the living room seemed to have purpose, it seemed like this house was beginning to being a home. Roxas' home.<p>

So when I walked into the kitchen around noon I didn't expect to see Roxas and his mother in aprons making an elaborate lunch for everyone. There was seafood and homemade dessert filling the house, and just made my mouth water. If that tasted half as good as it smells, I would be in heaven. Heaven.

"Axel, would you like to help me and Roxas with lunch?" Soraa asked.

"There's more food?" I asked, jaw dropping in response. They had to be joking.

"Yes dear. Roxas and Ventus eat like pigs that I need to feed them five servings to end their hunger. Plus you and Terra are growing still too! Not that Ven and Roxas aren't, but you get my point." Soraa started to get flustered, turning a tad pink around the ears.

"I get what your saying, and I'd be honoured to help. Where do I begin?" I motioned to the air around me.

"Well you can help start the salad. I'm doing a romaine one, how about you cut up some cucumbers." Roxas pointed to the vegetable on the counter. "You what thin small pieces. So go vertically down in a horizontal line. That should be about half of the cucumbers you'll need."

"Sure, no problem. Oh wait, do you guys like the outside of the cucumber? I can chop it off if you don't mind." I asked. It wasn't a big deal for me if it was on or not, but I knew that Terra hated to outside of the cucumber for some odd reason.

"Oh, normally I keep it on. None of us really care, but if you want to do the extra work you can." Soraa answered, completely unfazed by the awkward question. She then left to the living room to talk to her husband. All of a sudden the nice humble atmosphere that Soraa created, vanished in a blink of an eye. The awkwardness between us grew into a deep void that neither of us knew was possible. But I couldn't think properly, all that was running through my mind was, 'We were fine talking by ourselves only hours ago. What the hell happened?'

_Hoping I can run today and get away faster  
>Than ever from here<br>Another night and who can say if leaving is better  
>Than living in fear<em>

Roxas walked up beside me, as he peered into my eyes. I looked back at the ocean blue orbs with the same intensity. "Axel." He broke the silence, never once looking away.

"Yes Roxy?" I answered, now terrified of the question. Was I found out?

"Do you think I'll fit into your school?"

I gaped at him. Here was this sexy god in front of me and he was wondering if he would fit in at school? Where did he go off to be insecure? "I'm pretty sure you'll fit in. And even if you don't, you've got me, Ven, Terra and Zemyx to back you up. No matter what happens Roxas, we will be there for you."

_Here's to all the broken hearts tonight  
>Here's to all the "fall-a-parts" tonight<br>Here's to every girl and boy who lost their joy  
>They let it get away<em>

Roxas sighed. "That's not what I mean. At my last school I got bullied constantly because I was gay, I don't want me or my parents to go through with that again."

I chuckled. "What about Ven?"

"Ven has Terra to pick him up when he's down. Since they started dating I've never seen a frown on his face. I'm pretty sure if they are together they can fight anything that gets in their way. _I_ don't have that, I'm alone in a school I don't even know."

I laughed and pulled him into me, hugging him passionately. "That isn't true Roxas. I vow that you'll find that person like Ventus, even if it's after highschool. _And_ until then I'll be there for you until you do. No matter what happens I will hold you like this, and try to make it better. It may not be the way you want it, but I'm here and willing."

_You know it's never too late  
>Get up and start all over again<br>You know it's never too late  
>There's got to be a better way<br>Don't settle for the cold and rain  
>It's not too late to start again<br>Find a way to smile and never let it get away!_

Roxas tried to pull out of the hug. "I know that, but sometimes it's just hard talking to you. It's like you're trying to say something but the words don't come out and I feel the same way. Sometimes I feel choked up, and it sucks because I know I can trust you."

_It's been too long and we've been down and out without laughter  
>No smiling just tears<br>We're tired of falling down and being such a disaster  
>We've been here for years<em>

"So trust me Roxas, I'll you have to do is trust me."

'But the last time I did that, I almost died.' it seemed mumbled, but I'm pretty sure that was Roxas' response to me.

_Here's to all the broken hearts tonight  
>Here's to all the "fall-a-parts" tonight<br>Here's to every girl and boy who lost their joy  
>They let it get away<em>

* * *

><p>Lunch laid out of the in the dinning room table 20 minutes later. On the tabletop was an assortment of many different types of seafood; fish, shrimp, clams, lobster and even crab laid out in many different forms. And what Soraa said about her sons were no lie.<p>

I'm pretty sure I caught Ventus with three different plates for himself that contain one type of food, and each plate had piles of food plastered on them. Terra followed with what seemed like Ven's salad plate and his own regular portion of food.

Roxas was no better however. He too had three plates plastered with piles of seafood. If you saw it on the table then it was somewhere on his plate, no lie. He started piling on his fourth plate, however this held foods that he needed to have a balanced meal. He poured himself half a plate of sticky rice and some dressing for the shrimp as well as managed to grab some salad. As he started to walk away, one of his plates nearly fell. Thanks to my awesome reflexes I managed to grab it.

"Here you go butterfingers. You need any help there?" I asked, placing my own seafood stuffed plate onto my arm. "I can carry something for you."

Roxas just smiled. "Thanks, but I think I got it!"

Roxas' father burst into laughter at that line. "Roxas, let the man have his chivalry getting some use. It's been awhile since I've seen a man with such a gentle sight in life."

Roxas blushed and handed me one of his plates. "Come outside, we'll eat out there since its so nice out."

I smiled. "Sure thing Roxas. Outside seems like a great idea."

_You know it's never too late  
>Get up and start all over again<br>You know it's never too late  
>There's got to be a better way<br>Don't settle for the cold and rain  
>It's not too late to start again<br>Find a way to smile and never let it get away!_

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: I really hate school, I can never write when I want to... :'( I was swamped last week, I think I had one day break and I slept that <strong>_**whole**_** day. Not to mention I was busy this weekend guys :( SORRY!**

**Okay, so Roxas' mom is not named after the character from KH. I wanted to keep the same Wind/Sky thing in here and I remembered that Sora is a unisex name and used it for their mom. SO SHE IS NOT SORA! If I get complaints that she is OOC I will bite off some heads... xD jks I wouldn't bite off someone's head - literally. **

**Oh and feel free to squeal and REVEIW! :)**


	15. Hurtful Truths

**Hurtful Truths**

The backyard was more beautiful than I could ever imagine. The past owner placed long term plants that were both colourful and beautiful, petals dancing around the yard has the wind picked them off the light wooden deck we were standing on. Roxas walked over the table in the middle of the plain grass and sat down; I quickly followed him to it and placed down our food down.

"Beautiful, isn't?" Roxas commented. "When we bought it, my parents thought I would be out here a lot do the scenery, which is true, so they put a table out here."

I chuckled. "They love you a lot, those parents of yours. They are way more supportive then mine, which isn't that hard, but it makes me kind of jelious." I smiled sadly. "I feel confided in a box when they're home."

"Then why don't you live here?" A distant voice said. We both turn to see both of Roxas' parents standing on the wooden deck smiling. "There is plenty of room here and you wouldn't be a bother. Ven pretty much lives at Terra so Roxas often gets lonely, it would be a nice change to see him out of his room again."

I swept a look at Roxas; he was blushing a light, barely noticeable over his tanned skin. I smirked; this was officially the best day of my life. Not only did I get to see my sexy Roxas' blushing face, but now I can tell my parents about my orientation and not worry about being disowned. "I'll have to ask my parents."

Soraa smiled. "For some reason, I don't think they'll be a need to ask. Is there something wrong Axel?" she clearly was more perceptive then I gave her credit for.

"Nothing that needs to be a problem of yours Mrs.-"

"Please call me Soraa."

"Soraa, I have to deal with it on my own."

Soraa smiled wearily, "As long as you don't hurt yourself. You can come to me anything you need anything, you got that?" I nodded and she left with her husband, closing the glass door quietly and smoothly. I had to smile.

"Axel, why don't you want to tell my mom about your parents? We can get you and your brother out of there." Roxas asked, pure concern plastered all over his voice.

"Roxy, there isn't anything that they could do. My brother is happy the way he is, he's the _good_ child." I sighed, I often did want to be the good child, but how can I be the good one when I'm something that they despise. That's why Reno ran, to get away from this bombanation of a family. "Roxas don't worry, when I tell my parents they won't want to be seen with me. Then I'll tell your parents so they know what's going on."

Roxas sighed. "Fine."

A silence passed through the yard, the wind could be heard as it softly played with both of our hair and the petals continued to dance around us. I looked up into the sky and saw a pure blue sky with one puffy cloud drifting through. I smiled at the sight of it.

_Made a wrong turn  
>Once or twice<br>Dug my way out  
>Blood and fire<br>Bad decisions  
>That's alright<br>Welcome to my silly life_

The silence never turned awkward, it seemed content and I was happy that we were able to have a normal moment. I looked down from the sky to start eating my food, looking at Roxas' plates in the process. The boy somehow managed to eat 2 plates while I was staring into the sun.

"Hey Roxas, do you want to play a game?"

"We're eating, how would we play a game?"

"It's a speaking game, its called truth."

"Truth? Never heard of it. How do you play?"

I smiled. "We take turns asking questions, the one answering has to be truthful about. And if you don't want to answer the person who asked the question will give you a task to do, kinda like a dare.

Roxas nodded. "Sounds simple enough. Are you asking the first question?" He looked up from his almost devoured shrimp.

"Sure, why not. Let's see... How about something simple to start off. What's your favourite colour?"

Roxas snorted. "Freebee? It's blue, a nice light oceanic blue actually." He sighed, taking another bite from his plate. "How you ever had a boyfriend?"

I smiled, trying hard not to chuckle. "Nosy boy, no I haven't. I bet you don't believe me, but it's the truth." I smirked, blazing as I picked up a shrimp with my fork. I placed in my mouth. Now, what do I want to know about him... I few things actually, but this didn't seem like the right time to. "Roxas, what's the real reason that you moved out of Mabushii Senzai?" I blurted out

_Mistreated  
>Misplaced<br>Misunderstood  
>Miss knowing it's all good<br>It didn't slow me down._

Roxas jumped. He did tell me the story about how he came out to his parents, and that they came here because of homophobe problems. "Well you see, we often get bullied in Mabushii Senzai, no one seemed to notice that even though we both like guys that we weren't into them or each other. I drove us insane when people came up to us and asked us to kiss each other or do things to the other, or were too repulsed to look at us. Personally I don't know which one I liked better out of the two groups, it was bad. Then two weeks ago one of their pranks went wrong, because of my night terrors I was extremely tired my morning class so Ven took me to see the nurse while he went to class and to get my notes. However this group of the _pro-incest_ people took me from my room in the nurse's office and left a note for Ventus. Ven came back at lunch and found the note and went to go and find me, I ended up tied up in one of the boy's change rooms when Ventus found me. I hadn't woken up yet so I don't really know what happened next, but from what Ven said they put a knife to my throat and forced Ven to... _do_ things to me. It did make sense, because I woke up in the change room later with my pants completely off and precum all over the floor. Ven was crying nearby whispering nonsense, or at least at the time it was. He was _shaking_ Axel, nothing made him scared before this."

I felt my blood boil, nothing seemed to piss me off more than this story. "Did you tell the principal?"

_Mistaking  
>Always second guessing<br>Underestimating  
>Look I'm still around<em>

Roxas laughed. "Ya, she said that nothing can be done because there wasn't any proof that anyone did it. We asked her about the camera in the nurse's office and apparently it was down that day and was going to get fixed. The wounds on me weren't deep enough to show, they barely proved anything." he sighed, "Anyways, it's my turn! When did you find out that you were gay?"

I laughed, that surely lightened the mood. "Well I noticed that I wasn't really all that into girls in the seventh grade. Most of the other guys were chasing girls for dates, yet me and Terra really didn't want to, nor cared if we got dates. It wasn't into I entered highschool that it finally clicked."

_Pretty, pretty please  
>If you ever, ever feel<br>Like you're nothing  
>You're fucking perfect to me<em>

Roxas started to laugh. "Really? That was it? You found out you were gay because you didn't want to chase girls around during middle school?"

I shrugged. "Hey, it happens. I was just never attracted to women. Now for your question..."

"Guys, we have icecream for dessert when you ready!" Jomiki screamed from the deck.

Roxas' face lit up at the mention of the delicious cold soft treat, he obviously wanted some. "Okay Roxy, you can go get some icecream while I think of a question."

Roxas bounced out of his seat and towards the house with a new energy in his step. He seemed lighter than before and I have no idea why. I began thinking of reasons why he could be so happy, we were goofing around a minute ago and he was excited about the icecream. However the fire in his eyes looked like revenge. How in the hell was he going to get his revenge.

**PLOP!**

I felt a wet coldness dripping down my head, I could feel it slipping down my scalp and it raced down my skin. Roxas stood over me with a cup of empty icecream, smiling triumphantly. I didn't understand for a moment, until I remember two nights ago with the spaghetti.

"You better have gotten a real one for me." I chuckled. I had to hand it to the kid, that was a good one.

"Yes I did, Captain No-Fun. Did you know I was looking for a reaction? Maybe one of disgust or jumping in the air in surprise?" He started to rant, clearly peeved that his plan to piss me off didn't work very well.

"Well, I'll give it to you. You got me pretty good, however you're gonna get in trouble by your parents when they see this. I call that _my _revenge." I smirked, he clearly didn't see this completely through. "As for the reaction bit, I have Terra for a best friend. If things like this didn't happen monthly I would worry for his sanity."

Roxas chuckled at the given information. "You have a point there. Ven does say that Terra is quite the prankster, though most of his pranks go wrong. And I told my parents before I did it, they were cool with it since you started it." He spoke, sticking out his tongue. "I win."

I laughed. "For now."

* * *

><p>We were in the living room when it happened; the ringing in my pocket, the unusual ring tone for my parents, and the time.<p>

I looked at my phone quickly, I was right; parents. I quickly answered it. "Hello?"

"Where the hell are you Axel? I thought we taught you better than to leave the house without permission." There's my loveable mother.

"Mom, I can never get permission to leave. DO you want me to live a lonely life, with only Kakiji as my only friend?"

I mother sighed. "Your coming home right now, we've have things to talk about." Mother's voice seemed serious, what would they want to talk about? I didn't make sense, but then again so was is situation.

"Okay mother, I'll come home now." I looked at Terra and nodded. He sighed, kissed his boyfriend and got up. "I love you mother, see you soon." and I got up and followed Terra out of the house and into his car. Roxas followed us, clearly looking upset.

"Terra, do you mind if I take Axel home? I think that might be better, and you can stay with Ven." He pleaded. He didn't really need to try hard if he wanted to take me. Terra really did want to stay with Ventus.

"Sure, you can take the lummox home." He smiled at me and walked back to the house. "Be nice." he whispered to me. "This doesn't happen often."

I smiled and walked to Roxas car and we set off. "Of course not Terra. What do you make of me?" I muttered to myself.

* * *

><p><em>You're so mean<br>When you talk  
>About yourself, you were wrong<br>Change the voices in your head_

I told Roxas to wait in the car outside. No matter how this was going to happen, it wasn't going to be pretty I was sure of it. Roxas agreed and parked the car in the driveway in case I needed him. He gave me his cell number and waved me off to m doom.

The door creaked open as I shook of my converse. Halfway done, I thought better of it and put it back on. If I was going to do this, I was going to need to leave quickly as well. I turned the corner and saw both my parents, pissed.

_Make them like you instead  
>So complicated<br>Look how we all make it  
>Filled with so much hatred<br>Such a tired game_

"What's this?" My father opened him arms, showing the room.

"The living room?" I answered.

"How is it different then how we left it?"

"My bed is in it."

"And why is that Axel?" my mother spoke.

"Because Terra came over last night so was can go out early this morning."

_It's enough  
>I've done all I can think of<br>Chased down all my demons  
>I've seen you do the same<em>

Pretty, pretty please  
>Don't you ever, ever feel<br>Like you're less than  
>Fucking perfect<p>

Pretty, pretty please  
>If you ever, ever feel<br>Like you're nothing  
>You're fucking perfect to me<p>

"Oh, so Terra was only over when we were gone?" My mother questioned. Why the hell should she care?

"Pretty much, sometimes some of my other friends would come over."

"What about two days ago? Who was that?"

"I don't see why it matters, but my friend Roxas." I answered. "Can you tell me why you're interrogating me?"

_The whole worlds scared  
>So I swallow the fear<br>The only thing I should be drinking  
>Is an ice cold beer<em>

So cool in line  
>And we try, try, try<br>But we try too hard  
>And it's a waste of my time<p>

"You were caught cuddling with him!" My mother screamed. "You're a fucking gay just like your brother! How dare you insignificant child do something to put this family to shame. It's because you're _her_ child. That fucking wrench!"

_Done looking for the critics  
>Cause they're everywhere<br>They don't like my jeans  
>They don't get my hair<em>

Exchange ourselves  
>And we do it all the time<br>Why do we do that?  
>Why do I do that?<p>

I snapped. "What the hell are you talking about! And who the hell should you judge! You both are never here to begin with, and if it weren't for me _your_ child would have been starved to death! If I'm not your child then I'm not your servant either!" I raged, sprinting to my room, taking my camera to take pictures of my walls before splashing black paint all of my room. I then grabbed my bag with my school stuff and a bag full with clothes. "If I'm not actually yours, then I'm leaving!" I smashed the front door and bolted it to Roxas' car.

"I take it your parents didn't take it very well." Roxas chuckled.

"If only." I whispered. "And I'd take my car out of here, but they would say it's there and be able to find me."

_Pretty, pretty please  
>Don't you ever feel<br>Like you're less than  
>Fucking perfect<em>

Pretty, pretty please  
>If you ever, ever feel<br>Like you're nothing  
>You're fucking perfect to me<p>

Roxas smiled. "Come on, we better get out of here, while you still can."

"Thanks Roxas, you're a life saver."

_You're perfect, you're perfect_

_Pretty, pretty please_  
><em>If you ever, ever feel<em>  
><em>Like you're nothing<em>  
><em>You're fucking perfect to me<em>

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: Hey! I never said there weren't any hardships! :) Anyway, Axel ran away from home! :D Any who I just really got this chapter flowing and was able to finish it this morning! SO HERE YOU ARE! Hope you enjoy and click that lovely button below, you know... the blue words :) REVEIW! ;D<strong>


	16. Little Moments

**Little Moments**

The blur of streets that came into came into view, seemed to be my tourniquet. Sure, I wasn't dying or anything but the words that my mother threw at me whipped inside my brain like a thousand thorns prickling the mushy substance. And what the hell did she mean by '_that_' child? It wasn't like I knew any of her relatives, the all live quite a far distance from each other that no one could ever get together. That was what mother and father said, isn't that the truth?

They wouldn't lie to their kids, right?

_"You're a fucking gay just like your brother! How dare you insignificant child do something to put this family to shame. It's because you're her child. That fucking wrench!"_

That one comment just stuck inside of me like glue. She never was a loving mother, or woman for that matter, but she never once felt the need to lie. Why would she start now? I had my doubts about her saying that she wasn't my biological mother, but could it be true? But me and Reno looked exactly like each other, and they _loved_ Reno to death. It was only me that they hated.

Only me.

Was that the reason they really hated me, because I acted similar to my mother? And what the fuck does a wrench even mean? The only reason I knew it was a bad thing was the way she slurred the words.

There was only one thing I could think of doing, and for once in my life it wasn't running, I was going to find my birth parents. It didn't matter to me that they tossed me aside with those homophobic creatures, they were my family. They were a part of me. They were my kin.

I was snapped out of my little world when I heard a click inside the car. Before I could understand it all I heard a guitar strumming blasting through the speakers of the car. It calmed me down. As we came driving through the familiar part of town, nearer to our destination.

_Take time to realize  
><em>_That your warmth is  
><em>_Crashing down on in_

_Take time to realize  
><em>_That I am on your side  
><em>_Didn't I?  
><em>_Didn't I tell you?_

The houses seemed to lighten the air around the two of us as we stretched the awkwardness to its peek. There was no way that I was talking about what had happened, and Roxas respected that wish as nothing came out of his mouth. It was a strange delight that I had with him, but this was getting ridiculous. This tension could be cut with a dull bladed knife in the hands of a two year old, it disgusted me. Why could we never have a free moment alone together without _something _getting in the way?

_But I can't spell it out for you  
><em>_No it's never gonna be that simple  
><em>_No I can't spell it out for you_

_If you just realize  
><em>_What I just realize  
><em>_That we would be perfect for each other  
>and will never find another<em>

_Just realize what I just realize  
><em>_We'd never have to wonder  
><em>_If we missed out on each other now._

I looked over at Roxas's face as I thought over the lyrics. His perfect face made me realize that I was missing something important in my life. The perfect curves in his face drew my eyes towards his and I fell. Fell in love. He glanced at me and I blushed, quickly moving my face away. If he saw me staring at him, I would be embarrassed for the rest of my miserable life! I'd never get to find my true parents.

_Take time to realize  
><em>_Oh oh  
><em>_I'm on your side  
><em>_Didn't I tell you?  
><em>_  
>Take to realize<br>__oh oh  
><em>_I'm on you side  
><em>_Oh oh whoa oh_

_But I can't spell it for you  
><em>_No it's never gonna be that simple  
><em>_No I can't spell it out for you_

Soon the familiar streets started to lessen, until there wasn't any familiar street being taken. Roxas hadn't been here long, so he wouldn't take many side streets as Terra would while I was napping. However no matter how hard I tried to get a familiar feeling out of the area, I just couldn't. It was like Roxas had driven us in a completely different city, in which he was familiar with and I wasn't.

_If you just realize  
><em>_What I just realize  
><em>_That we would be perfect for each other  
>and will never find another<br>__Just realize what I just realize  
><em>_We'd never have to wonder  
><em>_If we missed out on each other but_

_It's not the same  
><em>_No it's never the same  
><em>_If you don't feel it too_

_If you meet me halfway  
><em>_If you meet me halfway  
><em>_It could be the same for you_

Then it dawned on me, Roxas had managed to leave the city without me knowing because I was in such a funk. Only the blur of buildings passing by cold be seem through the place were there to me, we could have been driving to the airport to fly me out somewhere same for all I knew. But this song seemed to pull me out of my funk and into a more cheerful mood, maybe it was the lyrics but it could also have been the whole song in entirety.

_If you just realize  
><em>_What I just realize  
><em>_That we would be perfect for each other  
>and will never find another<br>__Just realize what I just realize  
><em>_We'd never have to wonder  
><em>_If we missed out on each other now  
><em>_  
>Missed out on each other now<br>__Realize_

* * *

><p>The view was beautiful sight to see. The ocean was a pure blue, serenade blue calming through the havoc thrashing white top waves. Nothing seemed more calming than the juxtaposition carving into the water below. I looked at the man right next me and smiled. Roxas had given me this beauty to my eyes. It was worth the drive and the pain welding in my heart through my mother's words.<p>

"Roxas?" I asked, unsure if he wanted to be pulled from his staring.

"You're ready to talk now?"

"Yes, but I don't know where to start."

"How about the beginning. That seems like a good place." His sarcasm was highly noted, but I waved it off.

"I mean I don't know what I'd consider the beginning. If it's entering that door today or years before with my brother." I answered quickly before continuing, "Nothing seems to make sense anymore. She called me that woman's child, like I wasn't actually hers. What if me and my brother grew up without knowing who we really are? I couldn't think of what we could do! They are awful in every way possible, I want to know why we were left in that disaster of everything."

"Axel, don't worry about that. Not right now. Just take this in and not let this bother you. When we get _home_we'll tell my parents and go from there. You are not alone anymore Axel."

I chuckled at that. How true that statement is, I always felt alone in my own little world. "Roxas, sometimes I don't get why you care so much. We barely know each other, but now that I think about it I care just as much so there isn't really much I can say about that." I smiled a big goofy grin on my face. Looking over from the ocean sky to Roxas, and he was blushing! BLUSHING! Man is this great.

"You really care? Even after everything you heard about my old school?" His voice was barely a whisper, almost inaudible.

I took his vulnerable face in my hand. It cup perfectly around, like a perfect glove on a hand. "Roxas, it's not like you wanted to do that, why would I hate you for someone else's doing? As people may not believe, I'm not as shallow as you think. To me you are innocent person who gotten taken advantage of do to a physical disability. If I hated you that want can be said for me? I'd be in a worse situation than you. So don't fret, and take your own advice; take it in and don't let it bother you, it's in the past."

His deep blue eyes looked down in shame, and could never hold mine. I couldn't quite understand why, he just did that for me. Shouldn't I return the favour? His tinted pink cheeks darken with no remorse. I chuckled at him. "You wanna go home now?"

Roxas nodded quickly before getting up and forcing my hand away from his face. "Are you going to tell my parents everything?"

I smiled at him. "I'll tell them all that's needed, hopefully this last part will stay out of it."

Roxas just smiled and lead us both through the bushes towards the car. It was quite an awkward walk from the shore to the car, many trees came in our way making our path curve around. It was relaxing cool ocean air mixed with the musky smell of the forest brought my worries to ease as we fled the sanctuary of Roxas' past to our new solitude. Personally, it felt great, especially knowing that Roxas trusted me with such an important part of his life.

We reached his car and drove off on the dark dirt roads to our final destination. Home sweet home.

* * *

><p>The door never seemed so scary.<p>

The white plainness seeped into the wooden that before I thought was a nice touch, but now it seemed like a wall of iron. But I had to do this, or else this would never work out.

Roxas grabbed my hand and led me into his house, however his pulse told me he was just as nervous as I was. I smiles and nodded. We both needed this.

His parents were in the living room waiting for us as we crept through the door. It was kind of creepy to see them there staring at us, as if they caught us doing something bad. They both looked serious, as if to scold the both of us.

"Roxas, you said that Axel needed some help?" Soraa asked.

I replied before Roxas could answer. " I'm sorry to bother you so late, but things happened at home and they kick me out."

Both of them gave me a surprised look. Their eyes widening before they realized what was happening. "What happened Axel? Why did they kick you out of the house?"

I chuckled. "They're both homophobes that never actually cared about me. That probably the best reason as any."

Soraa's head shook. "Never in my life has anyone done something so disrespectful to their own flesh and blood."

Own flesh and blood

But I'm not flesh and blood.

"Well, can I stay here until I find my own place?"

Soraa shook her head. "You can stay here until you start university. Heck we'd even make you our foster son!" She smiled brightly at her husband. "However I don't think that's the whole story, so we'll leave at that tonight and we'll talk about this after school tomorrow. That alright?"

Me and Roxas nodded. That was perfectly fine. "Great!" Soraa answered, "then you can share Roxas' room until we find you a better place." I just smiled as we walked up to Roxas' room, completely unaware of the heat radiating beside me.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: wash! I wanted this done on thanksgiving, but my stupid relatives got in the way. Okay they didn't actually get in the way, but the time I wanted to use on this was put on spending a day with them. Whatever, it's a little late ^^*<strong>


	17. First Day

**First Day**

I woke up to a completely different setting around me. No walls that look like burning pictures, no blinding white with the sun glazing through, no door completely blood red it'd remind me of the latest nightmare. No, nothing if the sort, nothing that had any similarities. So where the fuck was I?

But then I saw it, actually him.

Roxas turned towards me and sighed. I swear, if this is a dream please wake me up now.

"Ow! Roxas that hurt! Don't pinch people that are half asleep and in a good mood." I yelped, not that it hurt.

"Then stop staring at me dreamily, it's creeping me out!" He answered, slapping me off the bed. I have no idea why we both decided to sleep in Roxas' room. Personally I think it was because of his condition, and that only, but I really do think that should bother me.

"I'm not staring at you dreamily, I'm still half asleep!" I argued, although I was probably staring at him dreamily for a moment. Earlier.

"Boys! Its time for breakfast!" Soraa exclaimed from downstairs.

I bolted straight up and threw on some clean clothes that seemed to go together. I really didn't have much for clothing, since I had to leave quickly, but Soraa said I could grab more of my stuff later on in the week. When my 'parents' are gone.

After changing in the very public room, we raced down the stairs to the kitchen. I won by about two or three seconds, and I'm not letting living down. We devoured breakfast and headed off to school all together in Ven's car.

It was really different having people there in the morning, to talk to, to help you and to reach out to you. And it was probably a better feeling than the emptiness of my own, the shame of it.

* * *

><p>We waltzed out of Ven's car as we went to enter the building. Roxas and Ven looked scared, terrified as we passed by different students along the hallway. Most of them ignored the pop out brothers and walked away, others whispered to each other about different things - I could imagine a rumour going around school about the very handsome twin brothers and their relation to me - and lastly others walked up to us trying on a conversation.<p>

When this happened, Roxas and Ven relaxed complying in answering the long end of questions.

"Come one guys, we better get going. We still need to get you schedules from the office. Sorry Rada, they can talk to you later." I nervously laugh at my mother hen self.

"Oh, sorry guys! I hope we have classes then. See you later!" She said before walking away, smiling.

The twins just smiled back, confusion hitting their faces as they continued to walk with me to the main office. We arrived not long after, and Ven's face lit up.

"Terra!" Ven screamed, running to his boyfriend's arms. "Oh my God it's good to see you! It's been weird walking around without you."

Terra smiled and ushered his boyfriend into the office to grab the forums we had come here to get. Me and Roxas followed suit as well. "I know Ven, but we still have the rest of the day. That is IF we have classes together."

Ven's smile dropped as he walked to the front desk. "How may I help you dear?"

Roxas walked up to his side. "We are new here, we were wondering if we can get our schedules and lockers." The lady just smiled and went through her drawers, pulling out several pieces of paper.

"These forms need to be in ASAP." She said as both boys nodded. "And this is your schedules." She handed them it and once again started typing away at her computer, but before we could leave she continued. "Most of the schools lockers have been taken. It'll be easier if you just double up with yourselves, or your friends." The boys smiled.

"I think we can take care of that." Ven smiled, looking at his boyfriend. "I think I got it covered madam, what about you Roxas?" He looked over at his brother.

Roxas looked up at me. "Depends on someone." He answered back, clearly amused.

I sighed, knowing fully well what was going on. But could I really let him in there without any fun on my part. "I don't know Roxy. It's a lot of hardship for my zen. It might mash up my mellow"

Terra laughed at my joke and whispered something in Ven's ear, and then his smile grew bigger. "Sure, that's it..." He murmured to himself. I elbowed him in the gut.

Roxas looked at me, confusion hitting his slightly tan skin. It seemed to glow in the light and I smiled at him. "Yes?" I called. "Is there a reason that you're staring at me?"

"Why yes." He answered. "But I'll tell you, only if you share your locker." He smiled.

I smirked, so that was the game he was gonna play. "Oh well, I guess I'll never know. Hey what's your schedule like?" I played, grabbing it away from him.

"Hey! That's not yours!" He shouted at me, jumping as I put it above my head to read.

"Huh, this schedule looks sooo similar to mine. Funny the way things work around here." I said, walking away to my locker. Roxas followed, clearly needing his schedule.

We came to the stairs, hitting them down to the first floor; I hooked a left down the hallway. There, the holy grail of solitude - my lovely locker - stood against the wall shining. I smiled, spinning the combination to the right sequences before opening it and grabbing my needed textbooks. Then I grabbed a piece of paper and handed it to Roxas.

"What's this?" He asked. Opening it to see what could be on it.

"Oh my combo, and locker number. You actually thought I was going to say no? Come on, we have math with Zexion and he's gonna kill me if we are late."

"And the teacher won't?" Roxas chuckled.

I smirked. "The teacher is easy to deal with... Zexion? Not so much." I answered, placing my hand behind my head.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: Hey guys! OMG I feel <em>really<em> bad for not be able to post this sooner. My computer monitor decided to fry on me so I had to write this up on my blackberry and then find a library computer in the most busiest of times... ANYWAY I have a lot of test this and next week so the next chapter might be slightly delayed. I will try to get it by next wednesday, but i cant make any promises.**


	18. Caught 'Red' Handed

**Caught 'Red' Handed **

We lunged into class right before the late bell rang. Zexion gave me a death glare as we walked in passing the teacher to show Roxas' timetable to him.

"I get it Zexion! We were almost late! Take a chill pill."

Roxas laughed. "You were right, Zexion is scarier than the teacher." I chuckled at him.

Zexion just pouted and went to his little solitude of work, checking his phone every so often. Roxas looked wearily at him. "Don't worry about it. He's just checking his phone to see if Demyx texted him. He doesn't like it on vibrate."

Roxas nodded in recognition as he plundered through his work. It was adorable watching him work away at the functions work in front of us. I laughed when his pencil stopped moving, his face in deep thought as he stared at his paper. "Stuck?"

Roxas let out a small chuckle. "Ya, this question is really hard."

"Which one is it?"

"Question 6 on page 165"

"Oh that really hard g(x) question."

"Ya that one. How the hell do you do 2f(x+3)?" Roxas looked down at the paper, once again moving the gears in his head. I felt bad for the guy, but what was I supposed to do? I barely understood it myself.

"Yo Zexion! Come hither." I called for my pale skinned slate haired friend. He reluctantly walked up, straight face still plastered on him. Without him saying anything I asked him a question. "Can you help Roxy with this question?" Zexion just shrugged and moved to Roxas' side. Roxas looked at me and smile. I waved at him and went to my work.

I could hear Zexion whispering to Roxas the rest of class as I went to do the rest of my homework. As much as I wanted help the pretty blonde haired boy, my math marks show that I shouldn't even be in this course. Who was it that convinced me to do university math? Oh ya, the slate head kid beside me.

Sometimes I wondered why I hanged around Zexion, he was so refined and withdrawn that people often thought I forced myself onto him. That wasn't even how it happened. Me and Saix would be so attached to each other that the teachers had got fed up so they split us up. I ended talking to Dem and we automatically hit it off. Saix wasn't as lucky with Zexion. He never really talked to anyone, only spoke when spoken to so everyone ignored him. However because Saix had nothing better to do _he_ forced Zexion out of his shell and into our little group. It kind of felt sorry for the kid when we were growing up, me and Dem were _extremely_hyper back in grade seven.

After the day that Zexion stuck like glue to Saix and me. It wasn't until Saix died that he really looked at Dem, it was weird really having them holding each other up during the funeral reception. It make me cry a little harder, Saix had missed such a special moment.

The bell was what snapped me out of my little personal funk. Everyone had gone through some turmoil and lived, so I guess it was now my turn. Come on Axel! You need to grow a pair already!

* * *

><p>The nightmare had begun.<p>

A whole god damn period without Roxas. Sometimes I think I should go into the class he's in, but that would be extremely creepy and I don't think he'd like that very much...

So here I am, bored out of my mind in the library studying the biology test I had after lunch. And before you think I've gone crazy, YES I study. Especially for biology where there's like 50 different words for one thing. I swear, someday my brain is going to explode from it all. The only reason I'm taking the course is because I need it to learn biochemics next year.

Ya, biochemics. It seems like an interesting topic to go into a career, that way I can get into inventing things that are flammable or inflammable. Kill two birds with one stone.

That was probably the only reason I caved when Zexion said I should take physics. He had a point, it would come in handy.

Ugh, then why the hell did I take this fucking course? Because this living hell is the needed to take bio next year.

_I will not make the same mistakes that you did  
>I will not let myself<br>Cause my heart so much misery  
>I will not break the way you did,<br>You fell so hard  
>I've learned the hard way<br>To never let it get that far_

I sighed in defeat and walked to one of the computers. I really wanted to see some proof about what my mother was talking about. Whose child could I be if not theirs? I opened Google and from the there I typed in my mother's surname; Firoja. Seconds later articles came up, all of them from different newspapers however only one seemed to catch my eye.

It was about a shooting of a prostitute in the northern part town. The woman was trying to get out of the business but her 'pimp' wouldn't let her and shot her. There wasn't any proof at the moment and the police hadn't made a statement about the case, however their was an eye-witness report saying what had happened. The woman, Kajima Firoja, was shot and thought dead by said witness however the medics on sight proclaimed her in extreme condition. There wasn't anything about her recovery or discharge, however there was a sketch of the woman in the article.

_Because of you  
>I never stray too far from the sidewalk<br>Because of you  
>I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt<br>Because of you  
>I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me<br>Because of you  
>I am afraid<em>

The woman had slim blazing red curly hair. I went down her back and out of the picture, only two curly strands in front of her face. Her eyes popped out like my own, however for different reasons. They were a rich chocolate brown, however the iris changed colour around the pupil as this bright shining emerald green flashed through the brown around it. Her lips were thin, but it worked for her slim heart shaped face. How could this woman not be related to me?

_I lose my way  
>And it's not too long before you point it out<br>I cannot cry  
>Because I know that's weakness in your eyes<br>I'm forced to fake  
>A smile, a laugh everyday of my life<br>My heart can't possibly break  
>When it wasn't even whole to start with<em>

I clicked Google again and searched Kajima Firoja. More articles about the woman popped up, most of them about the shooting. None of them said that she died or if she survived, it was like she dropped from the face of the planet.

_I__watched__you__die  
>I<em>_heard__you__cry__every__night__in__your__sleep  
>I<em>_was__so__young  
>You<em>_should__have__known__better__than__to__lean__on__me  
>You<em>_never__thought__of__anyone__else  
>You<em>_just__saw__your__pain  
>And<em>_now__I__cry__in__the__middle__of__the__night  
>For<em>_the__same__damn__thing_

I frowned at the computer and heard the bell ring, grabbing my bag I walked to Roxas' last class and saw him waiting outside the door. He smiled when I came, and walked over the last few strides. "Hey, you picking me up for lunch?"

I chuckled at that. "Who else would?" Smirking I held out my arm in the direction we were going. "This way."

Roxas nodded and followed me to the staircase to the first floor. We ventured down to the basement and followed the herding people. Eventually we hit two wide opened doors leading into a bright white walled room. It was the size of a big school gym, with heated trays on the far side of it with food sizzling on them. Roxas and I laughed.

He followed me to our regular table and sat next to his brother. They were in deep conversation, probably both talking their day so far. I guess that would have been a given, due to past experience in school. I looked at Terra quickly before walking off to the vending machine.

Its not that I don't eat healthy, but I just like the carbonated flavoured water to go with whatever I was having that. Today's lunch was leftovers from the dinner we had last night, Grilled Chicken Caesar. Buying my grapefruit aquafina carbonated water, I trudge back to table and opened my bag to take out my lunch. Everyone was laughing at me.

"Can I help you people?" I asked, continuing to dig through my bag.

Oh my fucking God!

Someone stole my lunch!

I whipped my head at Terra. " I swear to god Terra, if you have my lunch give to me."

Terra just shrugged. "Or what?"

"Or you better pray that someone likes you up there." I answered, pointing to the ceiling for effect.

"Well I guess I better get praying, because I don't have it for once Axel." Terra smiled.

"So who does?" I asked looking everyone in their faces.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's note: this chapter here is curtsy of my lovely *coughs really hard* siblings for arriving this week and my lovely teachers for allowing me to write when I wasn't suppose to... Well expect for my chem teacher, but what she don't know won't hurt...<strong>

**I was going to make Zexion yell at Axel more... But then I realized that I woiuld start to make Zexion swear. And Zexion DOESN'T swear. Character complex xD **

**Anyway, during the part that I said Axel should grow a pair, I was laughing. Not at him, because personally I think he does have balls, but because it reminded me of one of my friends bbm photo. If you will this is what was shown:**

**Imagine Betty White up close with words on the side. The words say "why do ppl say 'grow some balls?' Balls are weak and sensitive, if you really want to be tough grow a vagina. They take a pounding" and on the bottom of that hilarious paragraph is Betty White's signature. :) gotta love Betty White.**

**And lastly... Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! I think I like this cliffhanger :3 who stole axel's lunch? (Random people put their hands up...) Oh boy...**


	19. Confusion

**Confused**

I looked everyone in the face, no one was going to take my lunch without any consequences. Me and my food have a good bond together that way.

Everyone started laughing at me and looked at one another. It was seriously pissing me off! Who would steal my lunch other than Terra?

Ventus looked his twin and smiled, Roxas on the other hand looked terrified at what Ven was implying. Did he? No, he couldn't have.

Zexion's face was stern cold, no expression however I knew that Zexy over there didn't do it. That guys has morals stronger than Jesus Christ himself. However Dem's face looked like he was bout to split into two.

"Care to explain your painful face Dem?" I asked, eyes looking at him like daggers piercing his chest.

His response was to laugh his ass off and run out of the room. I shrugged and looked and Zexion. "He was holding his laughed in, I think he went to the bathroom to release himself." I just nodded and walked to the bathroom with my water in hand. I learn from my mistakes.

Dem was indeed relieving his poor bladder when I went into the bathroom. He looked at me when I walked in however. "It wasn't me. And I'm not going to tell who did because this is hilarious." I just shrugged, leaned against the wall and waited for him to finish. Dem didn't seemed to mind, washing his hands before walking out with me. My glare didn't falter however, following him all the way back.

We got back and everything hadn't changed, except one little thing. On top of my backpack was a fire engine red lunch box with a yellow sticky note on it. I picked it up and looked at the note.

_Bright cold silver moon  
>Tonight alone in my room<br>You were here just yesterday  
>Slight turn of the head<br>Eyes down when you said  
>I guess I need my life to change<br>Seems like something's just aren't the same  
>What could I say?<em> 

'You shouldn't forget to pack your lunch :)' was all it said. But that didn't explain how it got there, or who put it there. Plus I put my lunch in brown paper bag, so how did it get transferred into, _this_. I opened the bag and in it wasn't what I had put in there at all, no Grilled Chicken Caesar, instead was a five inch sub with everything I like on it.

Staring at it for awhile I looked at Terra, Dem and Zexion. "Which one of you guys did this?"

All of them shrugged and went back to their lunches. The only one looking at me was Roxas as he talked to his brother.

* * *

><p>Being at the awesome termed school I am, I walked out of the cafeteria to the second floor. It really goes to show that our school lay out was just retarded and made to screw up all the student into going into a circle for their first year.<p>

Roxas must be happy that he has me.

We walked all the way to English in silence, which surprisingly didn't weird me out. Over the last 24 hours I learned that Roxas doesn't like to talk, which does make sense in what I _shouldn't_ know about him.

_I need a little more luck than a little bit  
>Cuz every time I get stuck the words won't fit<br>And every time that I try I get tongue tied  
>I'll need a little good luck to get me by<em>

_I need a little more help than a little bit  
>Like the perfect one word no one's heard yet<br>Cuz every time that I try I get tongue tied  
>I need a little good luck to get me by this time<em> 

Ms. Jung was a wicked old woman. Personally, I couldn't care less about what she said, the only reason I was in this University class was because I was planning to go into university. Zexion really does have a way with words, but this inconvenience actually helped me out in the end

Roxas walked up to the teacher, handing his sheet. She just nodded and pointed to the empty seat next to me. I smiled. "You are one lucky duck, you know that?"

Roxas laughed at that. "What's with you and empty seats next to you?"

"Well some people are just haters, but that one is because this was in alphabetical order and that person dropped this class."

"I see. Nothing to do with you?"

I chuckled at that. "You a little insecure?"

"Hey! I have a right to be! This is the second desk you've have beside you empty, not to mention you dropped that course to get your spare." He squeaked.

I laughed. "Calm down Chicken Little." I smiled. "Or the teacher is gonna have a mental break and we'll have to come back afterschool. I don't think Ven will like us very much if we do."

Roxas cringed and sighed, giving me a little pout. It held out the question from before.

"It has nothing to do with me. And I dropped that course because I couldn't keep up."

"What was it?"

"Why are you so curious, my little friend?"

"Can't I just be curious?"

"Well curious killed the cat, got that memorized?"

Roxas pouted and looked at the teacher.

_I stare up at the stars  
>I wonder just where you are<br>You feel a million miles away  
>(I wonder just where you are)<br>Was it something I said?  
>Or something I never did?<br>Or was I always in the way?  
>Could someone tell me what to say to just make you stay?<em>

We didn't talk for the rest of class, in which I kept giving him sideways glances and trying to pay attention to the teacher. It was hard listening to her blabber off about the most stupidest of things, essays.

So that's why I kept giving peeks to the unknowing blonde throughout class, lazily sighing in a tired manner, to keep my hopes up. Ms. Jung hadn't notice, or had Roxas, so I was allowed to have my fun. Right?

Wrong.

Five minutes till class was over and Roxas looks over at me. "The staring is a bit much."

I chuckled. "Sorry, just seeing how you were doing." I lied.

"Sure."

_I need a little more luck than a little bit  
>Cuz every time I get stuck the words won't fit<br>And every time that I try I get tongue tied  
>I'll need a little good luck to get me by<em>

_I need a little more help than a little bit  
>Like the perfect one word no one's heard yet<br>Cuz every time that I try I get tongue tied  
>I need a little good luck to get me by this time<em> 

* * *

><p>As we walked out of English to Bio, I told Roxas about the Bio unit test we have. He cussed under his breathe about it, but I told him he had nothing to worry about. <em>If<em>Mr. To gave him the test, it would be just to see how much he knew on the subject. Roxas relaxed, couldn't say the same for the class though.

The tension in that room could be cut with a butter knife. Actually, if it were possible to cut something with a hammer that would be what was needed to ease this tension. People just  
>don't study these days, do they?<p>

_I know it feels like the end  
>Don't want to be here again<br>And we could help each other off the ground so we never fall down again  
>What it takes I don't care<br>We're gonna make it I swear  
>And we could help each other off the ground so we never fall down again<br>Again_

Mr. To arrived soon after and walked around the desks handing the tests out, when he reached Roxas' he saw Roxas' paper and nodded giving him a test and handed the rest of the sheets out. It was only until he was finished handing them out that I heard him talking to Roxas. "I'm not going to mark it, I'll set a date for your actual test, however I do want to know how much you know about Genetics. If you manage to get a good grade I'll just count it instead, but if not I'll let you rewrite."

_I need a little more luck than a little bit  
>Cuz every time I get stuck the words won't fit<br>And every time that I try I get tongue tied  
>I'll need a little good luck to get me by<em>

_I need a little more help than a little bit  
>Like the perfect one word no one's heard yet<br>Cuz every time that I try I get tongue tied  
>I need a little good luck to get me by this time<em> 

I never heard Roxas' response, only complete silence as I continued on with my test. Surprisingly enough it was pretty easy. I passed through the multiple choice with a breeze, moving onto the long answers. The first question was self explanatory but the second was harder. Why the hell would I ever have to look at four god damn traits at the same time?

Anyways, I kept going breezing through until the second last question. SickleCell… What the hell is a fucking SickleCell?Did we even learn that in class? Come on Axel! You should know this? Most genetic disorders have to do with low amounts of certain proteins, if it has cell it means it has to do it on a small scale. Blood? Yes! Sickle Cell, native to African Americans have incomplete blood cells that don't use enough oxygen, because of this they get suck into the blood vessels and cause clots. Because it is passed down through autosomal means, heterozygous people may carry the gene. Surprisingly this disease can help prevent malaria, but even heterozygous patients die by the age of 50.

Take that Bio test!

I raised my hand and handed in my test, waiting for Roxas to finish so we could leave together to Ventus' car to go home. Right when the bell rang everyone left, and me and Roxas ventured to our locker around the corner from the classroom. Roxas looked down the whole way their, and it was bugging me. This wasn't the usual quiet Roxas I understood, but something was bothering him – I could feel it.

"Axel, have you thought about that Festival?" Roxas' voice came to barely a whisper.

"What about it?"

"If you wanted to go, with me?"

I chuckled at that. "Roxas, I couldn't say no to my friend. And do you really think Ven and Terra are going to let us _not_ go?"

Roxas smiled weakly, the emotion just couldn't reach his eyes. "I guess."

That face haunted me on our way home and in my dreams. What was Roxas thinking about?

_I know it feels like the end  
>Don't want to be here again<br>And we could help each other off the ground so we never fall down again  
>What it takes I don't care<br>We're gonna make it I swear  
>And we could help each other off the ground so we never fall down again<em>

* * *

><p><strong><strong>Author's note: sorry for the latenessish chapter. I got grounded for not cleaning my room. Not that its at all better now, but I managed to sneak to my computer to upload this. Three all nighters actually pulled this off :) hopefully next chapter will be up by Wednesday :) ;) ;3<strong>**

****Also I know it's short, but it needed to be like this because I didn't want to bored you guys to death :)****


	20. Time Skipping By

**Time Skipping By**

The next morning wasn't all that special, waking up on their blow mattress and not next to Roxy. He still had that sad expression wondering his face. His blue eyes turned dark, almost to a silent grey and blonde hair moved downward like his mood. He hadn't spoken a word after school.

So was really down?

Friday was four days away, so maybe he was, maybe he wasn't. It really all that bad, except he started to ignore me this morning.

There was definitely something wrong and I needed to find out what before Friday arrived.

_When your tears are spent on your last pretense  
>And your tired eyes refuse to close and sleep in your defense.<br>When it's in your spine like you've walked for miles  
>And the only thing you want is just to be still for a while<em>

* * *

><p>The morning started odd bland, first thing in morning and I don't have class with Roxas, but his brother; loverboy. Sure Ven was alright, he acted similar to Roxy but his movements were completely different. He made me laugh as we never got into his home life.<p>

Now that I think about, I don't know anything about Terra's home life.

"Hey, I hear you're going with Roxas to the festival." Ventus managed to bring me out of my personal refuge.

"Ya, he asked me to go. Plus, I don't want him to be a third wheel." I answered. Ventus deflated. "What?" I asked.

Ven shook his head. "Oh nothing, hey did you use that bad chicken again?"

I looked at him. "Bad chicken?"

"You know, the one in the fridge? Roxas went to great lengths to make sure you didn't eat it." Ven smiled. It looked pure and innocent, but something about the way it laid there on his face -that slight curve upwards on the right side- made me believe there was more to that statement.

"Roxy nabbed my lunch?" I tried to pry out of Ven.

_If your heart wears thin I will hold you up  
>And I will hide you when it gets too much<br>I'll be right beside you  
>I'll be right beside you<em>

"Ya. He noticed you grabbed the chicken, the container had mold in it. You should have seen him yesterday! All flustered and bright red, roaming the kitchen when you were in the bathroom."

Flustered. Bright red. _Those_ words he said yesterday.

Man I'm no Sherlock Homes. "Ya sure he was flustered?"

"Axel, I have never seen him like that in my life." he put his hand on his chin. "Flustered would probably be the best word."

Roxas.

Flustered.

Over _me._

Somebody, please don't pinch.

"Ow!" I yelped. "Why did you pinch me?"

"You looked like you were in dreamland." I sighed, of _course_ it will never be real.

"I see, was Roxas in those fantasies?" Ventus smiled. I jumped back.

"What? No way!" I lied, though Ven's smile never faded.

"Sure Axel, you keep saying that. You'll hurt more people than you know." He mumbled.

_When you're overwhelmed and you've lost your breath  
>When the space between the things you know is blurry nonetheless.<br>When you try to speak but you make no sound  
>And the words you want are out of reach but they've never been so loud<em>

* * *

><p>I met Terra, Roxas and Demyx at the Chemistry door. It was typical of the teacher Ms. Stavjkaski, -we call her Ms. S- to be late. She just barely reached my stomach, and her fingers could be considered sausages.<p>

She waddled to the door opening as the bell rang, ushering us into the classroom. She looked at Roxas and called him over, asking to see his timetable. Roxas complied, walking over to Ms. S as the rest of us sat down in our seats. We talked until Roxas came back, adding him into the random conversation we were having about video games. The main topic was on this new game that had come out called 'Mark of Mastery' that all three had played. Surprisingly Roxas had also so we continued talking about plot and weird things that happened to us in the game.

Ms. S started to attempt teaching us a lesson that she had planned, the four didn't even move from the spots we were talking from, only recognition that the class was starting was our hush tones. Eventually she got fed up with us, asking one of us a question. "Terra you're a good student, what is the answer to the question on the board?"

Terra looked over at the board and chuckled. "Ms. S, there isn't one."

The teacher looked at the chalk board and sighed. "Fine, what is the chemical compound that uses the elements Oxygen and Carbon?"

Terra looked at her like she was stupid. "Well there is Carbon monoxide, or CO but this is rare when dealing with compounds. The more common compound used it Carbon dioxide or CO2 because it is in our air. Most covalent bonds have to do with how well the bond was formed or if there was enough materials there to make what is needed Ms. S"

I stared at Terra. When did he become so smart?

_If your heart wears thin I will hold you up  
>And I will hide you when it gets too much<br>I'll be right beside you  
>I'll be right beside you<em>

I will stay.  
>Nobody will break you,<br>Yeah.

* * *

><p>Lunch came and lunch went with out much going on. I spent most of it going through what may or might not have pissed Roxas off. That was until what Ven said this morning came into mind.<p>

_"Axel, I have never seen him like that in my life." he put his hand on his chin. "Flustered would probably be the best word."_

Then there was yesterday.

_"If you wanted to go, with _me_?"_

It kept playing over and over in my brain.

Was Roxas asking me out? No, that couldn't be it, right?

_Trust in me, trust in me.  
>Don't pull away<br>Trust in me, trust in me.  
>I'm just trying to keep this together,<br>Because I could do worse and you could do better_

* * *

><p>We were heading to last period, me and Roxy. It was sad that even now he wouldn't talk to me, we went back that awkward silence stage. It annoyed me really, especially with this glare he was giving me.<p>

"Is there something in my teeth?" I asked finally, poking a fingernail in between my teeth to check.

"No, I was just wondering if you were going to be okay."

"Why wouldn't I?"

"What happened last Friday..." His voice trailed away.

To tell you the truth I completely forgot about that. I guess I really should have been more panicky about, but then again that happened because of sleep deprived, right? "Don't worry Roxy. Nothing is going to happen today, I feel great!" I lied, well about the feeling fine part.

_Tears are spent on your last pretense  
>And your tired eyes refuse to close and sleep in your defense.<em>

_If your heart wears thin I will hold you up_  
><em>And I will hide you when it gets too much<em>  
><em>I'll be right beside you<em>  
><em>Nobody will break you<em>

* * *

><p>The next morning started off as any other Wednesday for me. I woke up on regular time and opened up my sketch pad and started to draw something really random. When I finished it I looked down on it.<p>

In the foreground was Ven and Roxas back to back, looking different than usual. Ventus was wearing black with white accents across the body, also noticeable was an amour plate that consists of a greenish bluegrey tint to the metal. Roxas was the opposite, he was wearing pure white with black accents and around his neck there was a gleaming crown shaped pendent lifted away from his body. The weirdest things wasn't even that, it was the boys were holding - Keyblades. Ventus had his facing him, arm stretching outwards, looking as if he was about to stab himself. Roxas on the right side, held his keyblade away from him with his arm holding it up. Behind them both was a faceless brunette, the shading of his spiky hair the only defining him.

* * *

><p>Roxas started to talk to me again in Math.<p>

I guess it could have been because Zexion had ignored him completely and he needed to ease his problems of not getting the work on another and he knew me better than anyone else in the class. It didn't matter to me though. It was nice to see he could talk to me again, and that awkward tension didn't have to be there.

* * *

><p>Biology.<p>

I'm pretty sure I've mention this before, but unless it's biochemistry I don't like it. I still don't understand why we to know the composition of a glycerol, maybe a doctor or someone in the medical field, me? Nope.

Roxas however was intense in the lesson plan, writing his notes with passion. Giving me a smile in the end of class and on the way to English.

* * *

><p>I woke with a warm body beside me. Looking over I noticed Roxas curled up beside me, arms hung around my neck, cuddling into my chest. He sniffed as he moved upwards on my body, head now resting in the crawl of my neck. He whimpered something as he moved his body slightly more left and stayed silent.<p>

I looked over at the clock and realized it was six in the morning. We had another hour before we _needed_ to get ready for school. Might as well let him get a good night sleep while I watch him, then give him shit about coming into my bed without permission.

The rest of the day easing into that sweet picture of Roxas sleeping in my arms, however I still hadn't a clue on why Roxas was ignoring me earlier that week.

_If your heart wears thin I will hold you up  
>And I will hide you when it gets too much<br>I'll be right beside you  
>Nobody will break you<em>

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: Hey! I'm sorry this was a week late XD I found one of my old USBs and needed to see something before I started this chapter. That and I got tests galore this and last week, I neglected studying for my chem and bio test to finish this chapter.<strong>

**Anyways I have an announcement to make:**

**I MAY NOT BE ABLE TO POST AS MUCH AS I LIKE!**

**Like I said, I found an old USB that I had lost. On this USB was an incomplete story that I was working on before this one, it had everything that I needed to do in depth so that my plot never faltered away from my original idea. (It was pretty complex) And because that one started before this one and they have been waiting for three months for me to update, I feel that I should finish the three or four chapters that I have left to give them. Don't worry, I am coming back to this, writing when I'm stumped with the other one and/or need a break from it. So I know I would make my weekly updates until I finish it :)**

**That being said, I know people are going to ask which fandom and what the name of the story it is from. And before I say anything, don't laugh because if you didn't like it as a kid I personally think you missed out on a lot as a kid. The name of the story is called 'No Hope Without Light' and it is for Digimon. If you like that fandom them you can go ahead and read my Takari :) I worked really hard to get it to this point :)**

**So I'm sorry that I won't be able to work on this until this is completely over, but I owe them that much :)**

**P.S. if you review I might feel guilty and write a little more of this ;D**


	21. The Festival

**The Festival**

Shit.

It was Friday.

And I still have no clue what Roxas was so mad about.

Maybe this is a sign. A sign that whatever happened that day was meant to blow over, because personally? That was all I wanted to do with it. It was bad enough trying to look around about Reno or my birth mom without the rest of them finding out, but this was just too much hassle. If Roxas wanted to ask me out, he would have tried again and I would have noticed.

Right?

Well theirs no point in pondering about the past, we were suppose to have fun today because today was the day we were going to the long awaited festival. The music was going to be perfect, the corny carnival rides and best of all, the food. I couldn't wait to dig into a beautiful hotdog smothered in ketchup and gushing out relish, as disgusting as it sounds, it tastes good.

Millions of ideas popped into my head as Roxas woke me up that morning, his face brightening my day. How could it be one person can do that to someone? I think it might have to do with love, but that's just me.

Roxas smiled as he rose out of bed and to his ever extending closest. "Are you getting ready for school?" he asked, pouting at me. Why he was pouting, I'll never know.

I just turned over and looked at the wall covered in Roxas' art. "I don't see the point. It's only a half day today, the teachers declared it when most of the girls decided to ditch class to get ready for the Festival." I rolled back over to find Roxas staring at me, shirtless. I placed my covers over my face, hiding my indefinite blush.

_If I die young, burry me in satin  
><em>_Lay me down on a, bed of roses  
><em>_Sink me in the river, at dawn  
><em>_Send me away with the words of a love song_

"You okay Axel?" Roxas asked, as I heard his padded feet walk towards my bed. I didn't want him to worry about me because I was embarrassed. But I couldn't move from my spot on the bed. I felt the bed tip and still my body refused to act in the way I wanted it to. I was frozen.

Roxas didn't pull the covers away from me, instead he put his hand where my head was and started stroking it. "If you're not feeling well you can stay home." He spoke, concern clear in his voice. I managed to move under the covers, and remove him from my bed.

"I'm fine Roxas." I managed to get out, somehow willing my body to move itself upright. When I reached that state, I was not even a foot away from Roxas' face. His was blushing profusely, itching towards me. My breath hitched as I felt my body give into this magnetic pulse radiating from him, like my body was addicted to his touch. I could feel his lips when-

_**BANG!**_

Ventus came into the room, furious and red in the face. "Roxas! Did you pack my black T-shirt!"

Roxas stood up and walked over to his brother in the doorway. "Which black T-shirt, you have like ten of them."

"The one that we bought at that store; I think it was called Minkan." Ventus' eye scrunched together. Clearly he was still in deep thought.

"Oh, your pimp shirt?" Roxas laughed.

"Ya! That one, did you pack it?"

"I think I did, let me check my closet." Roxas glided across the room, towards his closet as he found the shirt in question. "This one?" Ventus just nodded and grabbed the shirt from his twin's hand. "I guess I must have accidentally put it with my clothes."

"Sure, you're just jealous of my awesome T-shirt. You wanted it for yourself." He stuck out his tongue and was about to leave when he heard Roxas' laughing.

"Want that shirt? Who would ever wear a shirt that says, 'Cool story Babe. Now make me a sandwich.'?"

I knew I shouldn't get in the middle of the argument, but I couldn't help myself. I raised my hand and Ventus smiled. Roxas just looked pissed. "Hey, don't look at me like that! I like those hater shirts, okay? I had like ten in my old closet. My favourite one was, 'You looked hotter online.'" I smiled again, and Ventus fell on floor laughing.

"Where did you find that one?" he asked through breathes, fist still pounding the floor.

"Where I got them all, Rue 21."

Roxas shook his head. "Get dressed." And left the room. Ventus looked at me and followed and my phone vibrated. I took it from its charger and looked at it. I got a text message from someone, clicking it; I almost dropped my phone looking at the name at the top.

It was Reno. It said that he found our real mom and she wanted to meet.

_Lord make me a rainbow, I'll shine down on my mother  
><em>_She'll know I'm safe with you when she stands under my colours, oh well  
><em>_Life ain't always what you think it ought to be, no  
><em>_Ain't even grey, but she buries her baby  
><em>_The sharp knife of a short like, well_

_I've had just enough time_

I just stared at it before dropping my phone on my bed and getting ready for school. I wasn't going to get into this crap right now. I have school and the festival, maybe later when those were over. But when I looked over at my phone with my new clothes hugging my body, I gave up and texted my brother back. '_Tell her she's going to have to wait for another time._'

* * *

><p>The school was buzzing around me, passing through the hallways in an upbeat way. I felt excluded from the world around me, but I knew that this was just my imagination. I placed myself further away from them. Zexion and Roxas looked worried during Math and Zexion even offered to stay with me during my spare.<p>

Zexion never skips class.

I shrugged at him and walked out of class, showing Roxas to his. He looked at me weirdly before looking at me smiling. I gave him a smile back, but I could feel it being weak. Roxas didn't say anything, just walked into class. I saw him talking to Dem as I walked away.

I hate feeling weak.

I was taught never to cry, even when I felt like I needed it. Holding it back, I walked into the library and went to the computers. I knew I couldn't get my self comfort in pieces of data, but what else could I do to get closure so I could walk around during the festival with a smile?

_If I die young, bury me in satin  
><em>_Lay me down on a, bed of roses  
><em>_Sink me in the river, at dawn  
><em>_Send me away with the words of a love song  
><em>_The sharp knife of a short life, well  
><em>_I've had just enough time_

My mind wavered as my hands crossed the keys in a dance of uneasiness. Once I had what I wanted written, the bar would go blank. It went beyond irritation, until suddenly a hand clamped my shoulder hard and firm. "Axel, what are you doing here?" I looked up to see Terra, complete worry striking his features.

I stared at him for a moment. "Why do you always come at the best times?"

Terra laughed at that. "Most of the time it's a coincidence, this time Ven told me that Roxas said you were acting weird. He was asking about it, like I knew. Now answer my question Axel.

I blushed a little. "You know how I ended up at Roxas' house?"

"Ya."

"So you heard I was kinda adopted?"

"Right now, yes."

"Well Reno texted me this morning saying he found our birth mom. She wants to see me."

Terra looked at me and sat down, his hand touching my knee. "You said yes, right?"

"Well I didn't say no… I just said she's going to have to wait."

"You did _what?_"

I sighed. "I want to see her Terra, I'm just… scared. What if she doesn't like me, or reacts to my orientation like those abomination of parents I had before? Terra, I don't think I can do this."

Terra's eyes softened when I looked at him. It made me feel vulnerable; I quickly looked away from him. "Axel, don't worry about your mom. If she was like _them_ then Reno wouldn't have said anything. Don't you trust your brother?" He gave me a second to answer, though nothing came out of my mouth. "He wouldn't. And you don't have to go alone, we are all here for you."

I shook my head. "You all have so much on you, I don't want you guys to worry. Dem has his alcoholic father, Zexion is taking care of a zoo and you have _God_ knows what on top of you."

Terra laughed at that. "Axel, the reason I'm stayed quite about my home life, is because there is none. My parents are head of private companies but wanted me to learn the value of life and the people around me. That's why I go here. That's why I live in a regular house. If I could, I would buy you your own house, just to keep all your problems away. But you and I both know that ain't going to happen. It's the same if I do that to Dem, his father will still be an alcoholic. You can't run from your problems anymore Axel, look where you end up. I don't want to burry another friend. Think about Ven and Roxas if you keep this up, they came here to step away from there pain and live happier. I know for a fact that Ventus would be crying his eyes out, when he wasn't trying to keep his brother's spirits up. We don't care if you're like this, we help each other out. You remember what we all did when we found out Dem's father was alcoholic?"

I laughed at the memory. "Ya, we built a tree house in his backyard and a rope ladder to climb out from the window. I'm surprised his father hasn't found it yet. Dem uses it to sneak out to see Zexion constantly now."

"Exactly. And when Zexion's father died, who was the one that decided how to cheer him up?"

"Me."

"And what did you do?"

I looked at the screen and shut down the computer. "I threw you and Demyx in there and pretty much gave him the biggest hug and birthday party there ever was."

"That's my point Axel. Zexion's birthday wasn't for another three months, but you did it anyways. I think that was the first time I saw him smile for real." Terra smiled.

I looked up at him and then at the clock on the wall. "I know all of that, but this is different. I found out a week ago my mother who raised me turned out to be a fake and my real mom is just around the corner waiting for me. I do trust my brother with my life and I don't doubt him if he says she wants to meet, but I need to digest this before anything happens Terra. It's coming in all too fast."

Terra placed his hand on my shoulder. "I get it, don't worry. How about you forget about your problems today and just have fun. Your problems will still be there tomorrow when you wake up."

I laughed and stood up. "Ya, you're definitely right."

* * *

><p>I walked into English and sat down at my desk. Roxas looked at me and smiled again, this time however the smiled actually reached my face. Roxas smiled brighter and took my hand to squeeze it.<p>

_And I'll be wearing white, when I come into your kingdom  
><em>_I'm as green as the ring on my little cold finger,  
><em>_I've never known the lovin' of a man  
><em>_But it sure felt nice when he was holding my hand,  
><em>_There's a boy here in town, says he'll love me forever,  
><em>_Who would have thought forever could be severed by  
><em>_  
>The sharp knife of a short like, well<br>__I've had just enough time_

I looked down at it and smiled at him. Mouthing the words 'thank you', I pulled my hand away and placed it underneath my cheek. If it weren't extremely gross, I would never wash this hand again. We didn't interact for the rest of the period, both listening to what the teacher was actually talking about. But then again, I'm pretty sure I fell asleep in that class…

We walked together to Biology, goofing off and having fun. Nothing really hardcore when thinking about the conversation we were having. We were probably about a metre from the door when Roxas stopped me. "You'll tell me, right?"

"Tell you what?"

"Why you were acting strange. I think it's only fair."

"Roxas, nothing was going on, I had a lot on my mind. That's all."

I was walking to the door when Roxas grabbed my arm. "Axel, it can't be nothing. Zexion was even freaked out."

"I guess Zexion has never seen me in deep thought." I shrugged, yanking my arm away from his perfect silky hand and ran into the classroom. He couldn't question me here.

* * *

><p>The rest of that afternoon was completely awkward; the car ride seemed so tense that I wanted to just walk the rest of the way home. Ven didn't look too happy, his scowl remain permanent as the car rolled down the streets to our abode. I tried to stay as far away as possible from the both of them, but life never gives you what you want.<p>

Ventus grabbed me by the arm and flung me across the room, for a small person he was extremely strong. He then grabbed me again, blindfolded me and dragged me away to an unknown place. When I managed to get the blindfold off it dark, pretty stuffy and something was in the room with me, something warm.

I heard Roxas cuss beside me, using flavourful words as he attempted his own blindfold. I wanted to snicker, but I was too scared he would think I did this to him. Still I helped him out of the blindfold and we stared at each other, for an extremely long awkward moment. Ventus knocked on the door. "You two are not leaving this closet until you settle things out. I have locked it and until you guys behave like civil people you will starve."

The sounds that Roxas was making, made me hundred percent sure that he was pissed. I looked at the shadow-like lump beside me. He didn't move an inch; his eyes weren't even looking in my direction. Seconds ticked by as we sat in silence, nothing seemed to move, only the sound of Ventus tapping something outside.

"Axel." I looked to him. "DO you think that he's outside the door?" I gave him a puzzling look.

"I'm pretty sure I hear him tapping outside." My voice barely reached a whisper.

"That's me actually." Roxas said. I could imagine the smirk placed on his face. "So do you think he's actually there?"

"Well he does have to let us out, so ya!"

Roxas placed his hand on my shoulder; I could feel his breathe on my ear. I was immediately aroused by the sensation, but did nothing about it. Or at least not at that moment. "We could find a way to embarrass him at the festival…"

Although he couldn't see it, I smirked. "I already have the perfect plan.

We discussed and planned the perfect payback against Ven. He better watch out.

* * *

><p>Ventus finally let me and Roxas out of the linen closet when he needed to take a shower before the festival. We both jumped for joy and fixed ourselves up for the occasion.<p>

So here we are now, my new car courtesy of my 'new' parents. It wasn't like my old ride, but I do love it all the same. We picked up Terra in it, there wasn't much room left so Zemyx told us to meet them there.

When we drove into the parking lot, I could see Dem waving like a little child and Zexion standing in front of a parking spot. He saw us and smiled, moving away for us to park there. We got out and when to the entrance.

Like most festivals, this one you needed to pay to get inside. It was about 5 dollars a ticket and Ventus said that 'our' mom gave him the money to enter. I still can't believe that their mom is spoiling me along with them!

We entered the festival area and in big translucent letters was 'TWILIGHT ROSES FESTIVAL'. I smiled as Roxas and Ven's eyes widen.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: Hey guys! I'm back! :) And I thank you all for waiting for soooo long while I finished No Hope Without Light. I really think you guys are awesome, and here is the waited time :) If you know what I mean candy ;) I hopefully have the next chapter up by Wednesday, keep your fingers crossed! xD<strong>


	22. Scared Shitless

**Scared Shitless**

Terra looked at them and slapped Ven's back. "We better get moving, or we'll get trampled. Girls these days need someone to spend today with, even if there's collateral damage."

I saw Zemyx shudder at the thought of last year's… incident. Terra grabbed Ven by the hand and started to pull him away from the entrance. Zemyx followed, leaving me and Roxas awkwardly standing here. "Where do you want to go first?" I asked. Roxas just shrugged.

"Let's walk around, I'm sure something will hit us." He smirked. I could only nod back and grab his hand to pull him towards the others. Once in our little 'group' we roamed the grounds. There were many different attractions and rides.

Demyx laughed suddenly. "I remember Zexion puking on the roller coaster last year!" Me and Terra joined in the laughter. Zexion looked pretty pissed. "I know Zexion, I promised you won't have to go on it this year." Zexion seemed to calm down a little.

Roxas nudged my shoulder. "What's that?"

I looked over to see what he was talking about. There was four wooden stands, side by side creatively spelling the words 'Kissing Booth'. I laughed at Roxas. "You pay them a dollar for a kiss. It's called the Kissing Booth."

"Then why are there four lines?"

"Well we respect everyone's beliefs, but not everyone is comfortable having the same or opposite gender sticking a tongue down their throats. As a compromise they created four lines for each sexual orientation." Zexion interjected.

Roxas nodded along with every word being said before grabbing Ven's arm. "I want a dollar."

I swear I did a double take. "Why would you want to do the kissing booth? Are you really that desperate from intimacy?" I heard Ven through my clouded thoughts.

"Well no, but I don't see the harm in it. Come on, live a little! We could never do this before."

"That may be true, but I have Terra for all my kissing needs."

"And I don't have a boyfriend holding me back, so that dollar?" Roxas stretched out his hand as Ven slapped a dollar into it.

I finally snapped back into my body. "Roxas, do you really want to do that?" I paused for a moment before I thought about it. He really should do things he wants to, he is the one that has been deprived because of something he was. "Go ahead Roxy."

Roxas looked at me funny before walking away into the Homosexual line. He had a smile on his face as he continued towards his lucky partner. No Axel, don't be jealous. I started to clenched and unclench my hand, as if it would erase all of my misery. It didn't, but it did make me feel slightly better-

Until Roxas' lips connected with the bastard at the booth. I quickly I turned around, facing Terra and Ventus. Terra looked concerned, but he knew exactly why I was pissed off. Ven, well I guess Ven knew I was just jealous of the guy at the booth, and didn't want to look. Even when Ven came back, my face never even looked at him.

We decided to take turns picking things we want to go on. That way we all get to do something we wanted to do. Zexion decided to choose. He walked us to a creepy looking building, and pointed his finger. "This." He muttered. Demyx jumped back.

"Zexion, you know I hate Haunted Houses!" Demyx cried. "I get scared easily!"

Zexion just smiled at him. "Of course I remembered."

Ventus tugged on Terra's shirt. "It says here that it's two at a time."

I smirked. "Well you couples should go together. This means I'll go with Roxy!" I wrapped my arm through his and went to enter. Roxas started to struggle and fight it, even screaming for the others help. Nothing worked. I managed to get him inside.

And then he was quite.

He started to imitate a ghost, and it was a pretty good one in fact. His usual slightly tanned skin whiten to be clearly seen within the darkness. Whimpering quietly beside me, his arm tighten around mine when the first thing popped up.

"Roxas, you don't have to be scared. I'm right beside." Roxas relaxed a bit, looking at me with vulnerable eyes. "Is there something wrong?"

Roxas looked forward and shook his head. Silence filled the room and we turned the corner, and then he just stopped. "I'm afraid of being alone. I can't really see anything, and any of these things can appear at any times in my dreams." He sighed, defeated.

"Roxas, you're never alone. Look at me." I paused, grabbing his face with my hand and facing him towards me. "Nothing, and I mean nothing is going to hurt you. Okay? I will make sure you're perfectly safe from the world. You have to trust me."

Roxas managed out of my grasp. "Like you trust me?"

I stepped back a bit. Did I really hurt him this much? "Roxas that has nothing to do with trusting you, it's just a problem I want to work on my own first. If I ever need help or to say something, you're the first person on my list."

"Can I at least know what it's about?"

I found his eyes in the darkness at that moment, glittering in the dark. It was like my dream Roxas, full of pure light. How could I deny such innocence? "Sure, my birth mom contacted me." I said in a monotoned voice. "but I'm not going to think about what I'm doing until tomorrow. Hell, I'm not ruining today because of her!"

Roxas smiled. "I get that. Okay, I think we can start moving again." We took a couple steps when a hand grabbed mine. "Do you mind? So I know where you are?" I could hear the quiver in his voice.

"Come here." I said as I pulled him in, my arm going around his shoulder. "I told you I'd keep you safe, right?"

"Right."

* * *

><p>Lady luck not being on my side, Demyx got to pick the next attraction. He came out screaming his ass off, it was a surprise he could still talk. The man came out of his hut to make sure he was alright.<p>

I still laughed. "At least you weren't louder than Terra at the end!"

Terra pouted. "That wasn't funny! Why the hell are you carrying a clown mask anyways?"

"I'm not. Simon gave it to me."

So in an attempt not to scare Terra any further, as well as moving as quickly from the scene of the crime, majority ruled Demyx the next picker… shocker. That is how all of us stood in line for this humungous monstrosity that is a removable roller coaster. It was the most unstable thing around, but that was part of the fun of it. You felt the adrenaline from the wheels crashing on steel and the sideways moving on the cart and structure. Or in Zexion case this just made you barf.

Demy gave Zexion exemption from the ride, but that did mean one of us had to ride alone.

"Um, I'm not feeling well enough to go on the coaster guys. That panic attack knocked a lot out of me." I heard Terra say. Demyx and Ventus muttered "Chicken."

We stood in line for about five minutes before we managed to board. Then the ride on the rollercoaster lasted for about one minute. We all got off a wobbly footed and laughing our asses off.

"That guy looked like he was about to puke!" Roxas exclaimed.

"Okay where do you want to go Axel?" I heard Terra ask.

"Well I saw those Cartoon Drawings around here. Why don't we all get one?" Everyone seemed into it. Except Roxas. "You don't have to do it Roxas, I'm not going to force you."

"Do you want one with me?" I heard his little voice whisper. I did a double take, still unsure I heard him right.

"I would love one with you."

* * *

><p>"Oh! I want that teddy bear Zexion!"<p>

We all looked behind us where Zexion and Demyx stood, looking at the prizes for the Milk Toss. Zexion kept looking at the bottles and the rings being thrown. Knowing him, he was estimating his chances of getting the huge teddy bear hanging from the ceiling of the booth. He looked at Demyx and sighed. We all knew that Zexion was whipped big time. However, it went both ways… "Fine."

We all walked over to the boxy booth. "Can I have 15 rings?" Zexion asked.

The person running the booth nodded and placed the rings in front of him. "Which prize are you aiming for?" Zexion just pointing to the light blue teddy bear. "You need all 15 to get that one!"

"Fine, give me five more."

The tenant grabbed the other five and took Zexion's money. Zexion hopped the ring in his hand and flung it into the air. Soon after he smiled and threw the ring. The ring flew in a diagonal, however flew perfectly straight. Zexion just stare at it as Dem jump in the air and the rest of us joined in. It hit the bottle and stayed around the neck. The tenant stood there dumbfounded; when he recovered himself he watched the rest of the rings fly through the air with such precision and onto each neck. Two bounced off and flew out of the area, but in the end Zexion still had rings to spare. He handed the rings to the tenant and smiled. "The monkey?"

The tenant slowly grabbed the bear that Demyx kept jumping to. It was quite comical really, watching Demyx's reach missing by a centimetre the whole time and trying to fit the bear of his shoulders. Me and Terra laughed at the two of them as Ventus smiled.

When they finally reached us, we agreed to let Terra pick the next thing we all would do. And without much thought Terra weaved us through the crowd of people and ended up and an oldish looking booth. There was nothing significant about the booth in general, only that it seemed out of an old movie. A woman came out of the back in Geisha outfit.

"Welcome the Olden Photo. If you would take an outfit from the rack in the corner and put it on, we'll take a photo of you."

We all nodded at the woman and went to change into the outfits we chose. Terra came out in a simple brown kimono with a black obi, he was wearing a pair of getas on his feet with white socks. Zemyx wore a simple fundoshi all black in their sandals, but what I didn't expect was the twins. They both wore feminine kimonos, elaborate and stunning on them, to tell you the truth I think it was the same kimono to begin with.

It had white under layer, peaking through the other layers as if trying to escape. The top layer had a background of sky blue, it intertwined with the print of the different petals of flowers. Pink streams of cherry blossoms dominated these colours, another noted colour would be the greenish yellow petals of tulip poplar flying in the wind. Red roses seemed sprawled over Roxas' obi, while Ventus had goldenrods.

I looked into the mirror behind them. I was wearing a red light kimono with hakama, the tie was black and split the top half with my bottom half. My red hair tied back in an attempt to keep it out of my face. It didn't happen, who ever thought that tying a rope in your hair would help was on some sort of drug.

Roxas smiled at me and walked forward. "How do I look?"

Beautiful. "Really? I'd say nice."

Roxas pouted and walked into where we were taking the picture. I followed him quickly behind.

* * *

><p>All of us decided it was best to get something to eat. We laughed as we said it at the same time, walking towards the food court. We only needed to turn the corner when Ven stopped us all. "I want that cute doggie!" he exclaimed looking into Terra's eyes.<p>

Terra looked over at the booth and smiled. "Fine." He was whipped, but not as whipped as Zexion. We could all agree on that.

We all walked to the Wack-A-Mole booth and Terra put five dollars on the booth. The woman behind the desk smiled sweetly and took the money. Terra's only 'reaction' (I'm sure he would have done it anyways) was to kiss the top of Ven's head. "This is only because I love you."

Ven nodded and the game started, Terra getting two prizes in the end. He looked at Roxas and smiled. "You want something?" he asked, glancing quickly towards me. "My treat."

Roxas only smiled, grabbing one of the plush cats. "This one." He said. I quickly looked the cat over. It had piercing green eyes that seemed to look within the person's soul. It was almost pure red, only the underbelly was unusually white. It looked slightly like a York Chocolate Brown cat with lighter colouring to it. It kind of scared me a little bit, why hadn't he chosen the cuter orange tabby? Everyone else was looking at me…

Roxas started walking off in the direction of the food court, placing his animal in his backpack. I was the first to react and sped up to at least be with him and guide him to the food court without getting raped. He is quite rapable…

Zemyx came next, pushing us towards the line for pizza. It was tradition that we get pizza for dinner, and we weren't breaking it now.

"What do you like on your pizza Roxas?"

"Just cheese."

I laughed. "So you're like me then! I'm happy I'm not alone anymore."

Roxas laughed at me. "Your one weird dude."

"You've said that before to me…" I paused and put my finger on it. "I can't seem to place where."

He hit my side. "The first day we met, we were talking about our dreams. Don't you remember?"

Laughing at the memory, we got our pizza and grabbed a table to eat at. We managed to get a circular table in the middle of the crowd. It was more rowdy, just the way me and Terra like it.

* * *

><p>After we ate Ven decided to go on the Scrambler. Terra tried to warn him, trust me, he did. But Ven can be really stubborn. Zemyx decided to stay off this one.<p>

Okay, you know the Scrambler is that spinning ride that also spins the buckets. So we just finished eating. Roxas, Terra and Ven can hold their food, me? Not so much. But you see is, this ride is one of my favourite's in the park. And how can you not go on your favourite ride when you get the chance? You can't

That was why, Roxas and Terra shimmied to my sides as fast as they could when we went on the ride. Ventus was going to be the only one that was drenched in vomit.

And all it took was that last turn and all of my dinner was on top of Ventus, Some had managed to get on Terra, but not enough for him to care too much. Roxas was the only one clean, and I was happy about that.

"Tissue?" Roxas offered me, I took it and wiped my mouth.

"Thanks, I needed that."

We both looked around and noticed that everyone we knew had disappeared from us, looking at each other, we laughed at started to walk around on our own. Roxas seemed obligated to find his brother. He had managed to take all the money off of Ven and felt the need to give him some, just in case we lost them again.

"How about we go to the Ferris wheel? That way we can see the whole park and think of places they would go!" I suggested.

Roxas nodded and I started to walk backwards. The Ferris wheel wasn't that far from the Scrambler, or wasn't supposed to be. Roxas looked at me with weary, I felt happy that I got such a reaction from him.

It wasn't until I fell into that unsuspected pothole, pushed accidentally forward and fell on top of Roxas that I noticed a change. The force was too great to push back, and the fact that I didn't have that much time to react caused our lips to meet. It was brief, and most likely the only time this was going to happen, but I saw it. Those fireworks flashing through the air, I felt the strength of those soft luscious lips and tasted that strawberry poison. I was hooked and so help me God, I knew I was going to go into withdrawal. Soon as we separated, I lifted myself up and grabbed his hand and booked it to the Ferris wheel. Roxas didn't say a word.

The thing was, when I stopped running the Ferris wheel was far behind us and there was nothing but bushes of roses. They danced around the floor and the air, it moved gently around us. I quickly looked around, no one was here.

"I'm sorry Roxas. I di-"

Roxas cut me off by placing his finger to my lips. He didn't know how he was teasing me. "You did nothing wrong Axel. It was the guy that pushed you that was at fault here, there was no way you could have stopped." He looked away from me. "I don't mind being the collateral damage in that type of situation, not with you."

I looked at him dumbfounded. "What do you mean by that Roxas?"

He looked at me, this time with an unknown emotion striking his eyes. I'd seen it a couple of times before, only when we were alone and he thought I wasn't looking. He just kept staring, looking at me with those oceanic blue orbs. "Axel, how do you feel about me? And please be honest."

I smirked, stepping closer to him. I wanted to do this with him since this morning. That magnet just kept trying to pull me closer to him. He was my gravity, the only reason why I seemed to be on this planet, and having this life. I wondered if someone had wished for this to happen. "Sometimes I wonder that myself. You're the most alluring person I've ever met, you look like you could take anything on but never get the chance. You looked like something damaged when I first met you, like you weren't actually there. But over these past days, I noticed that you aren't any of those. Your strong and powerful and wouldn't mind speaking out. You feel caged in, and that life isn't meant for you. But Roxas; it is yours to command and you know it inside. There is only one way I could ever tell you how I think of you." Without warning, I gently grabbed his face and kissed him.

The kiss was pure passion, I could feel the warm radiating off of him. Nothing seemed more important to me then right now, because everything I felt when our lips just touched? It intensified millions and I wanted more of it. I added slight pressure into the kiss, wanted his lips to respond. They did, fighting back full force. I took this as my cue and moved closer to him and placed my arms around his waist. His figure fit me like a perfect puzzle piece, his hands against my neck feeling like they were always meant to be there. I broke away for air, placing my forehead on his. His lips ghosted over mine as his warm breath allured me to them once again. I moved forward and once again our lips met, needy and lustful. We both knew what the other tasted like on the outside, but not the inside.

I didn't dare ask permission, as much 'fun' as that would be I decided on a more fun way to do it. I slowly moved my hands lower on his back, until my hands were on his but. Taking a quick squeeze, I heard Roxas squeak and plunged my tongue into his. He tasted like heaven, but it was short lived as his own tongue battled mine for residence. After awhile I won of course, but he did win some of the battles in the war. We both broke apart, panting loudly.

"Do you want to go home? We could be in a more comfortable place." I suggested. Much to my surprise he nodded and we left the park, completely forgetting about everyone else.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: Yes I know I cut some parts off, but this chapter had A LOT happen and I didn't want to write how this and that happened that didn't have importance :)<strong>

**Thanks candy for that idea, I know I didn't really use it… but it got me going to start this!**

**Okay, originally this chapter was supposed to be with the last chapter. Looking at this now, I'm quite happy I separated them…. This chapter was six pages types and the last one was five…. So, Ill post when I can. This week and next are actually called Hell Week(s) at my school, so I won't be able to write that often…**

**Anyways, where do you want this to go. Cause really, this is how far I've actually thought about. I'm obviously going to continue with Axel's mom thing, but I need something else going on too…. Any ideas?**


	23. The Moment of Truth

**The Moment of Truth**

I woke up and smiled at the memory of yesterday, the feeling of his lips still on mine. I managed to sit upright and looked over at the clock over on the wall close to the door, only 8:30… I shrugged and walked down the stairs into the kitchen.

The sight of Roxas' mother cooking up a morning feast caused a blush to stain my face. I could clearly remember the look of knowing as we past them to our room, one of approval but it didn't mean that I wasn't scared to what she thought we were doing.

Might as well get over the awkwardness and just tell her we are dating, it's not like she'll care about the fact I'm a guy. Just maybe not like the fact it's me. "Soraa, I have something I would like to say." I walked up to her and gave her a small smile. "Roxas and I are dating."

She exhaled, it was rushed to be called a sigh but it sure was close. "Axel, Jomiki and I already know. The way you look at him isn't very subtle, and he isn't that different. I only want Roxas to be happy, and you do that. I'm glad you're here Axel." She turned back to her pan, flipping a pancake. "You like pancakes, right? I'm making chocolate chip ones. Oh and French toast. Take your pick."

My mouth started to water. "Can I have both?"

Soraa smiled. "Of course."

* * *

><p>After breakfast Roxas and Ventus went into Ventus' room for some "brother time" Soraa and Jomiki came up to me for some bonding time. I could understand why, but I didn't think we would be having this now. "Sure guys, I would love to spend some time with you."<p>

Soraa smiled at me and led us into the living room, her smile dropped and her face became one of worry. "Last night Terra gave me some, news."

I looked at Jomiki and then to Soraa. "You probably heard right, if this is going where I think it is. He talked about my birth mother?"

Jomiki nodded his head as they continued. "We heard from you that you don't get along with your parents and now this bit of information just makes us worried. Are you okay?"

I thought about it, was I really okay? I mean after everything that has been thrown at me over the past few weeks, was everything kept coming one after another. Most of them brought me so down that I couldn't think straight, but the only bad part about finding out that my mom was only a phone away was just that. She was only the press of ten numbers away and I could hear that voice that I never heard before. But I was scared. Terrified of what was on the other line and waiting for me. I watched an anime once about this magical girl[1] whose parents were working overseas and she hadn't seen them since she was small. I didn't want to be that scared to push those buttons in my life, yet I had. There wasn't anything to lose, like it had with her.

So was I okay? "Yes, I'm fine. I know it's hard to believe me, but the only thing that I can explain is that I'm scared. Of what? I have no clue, but this feeling that I have towards everything that's happening makes me afraid. I don't know how to feel or act and it confuses me, but I'm fine. People have called me stubborn and I'll never regret anything I do, which reminds me of what I wanted to ask you guys." I took a deep breathe. "I'm not trying to change to subject, but I'm going to forget if I don't ask now. Would you mind if I take Roxas out tonight? There's this cool function at the park tonight and I want him to go with me."

They both looked at each other and smiled. "Of course you can, but answer me this Axel. Are you planning on seeing your mother?" Soraa questioned

I nodded. "One day, when I can finally dial those ten numbers but right now I'm content where I am right now."

Both of them smiled and we went off talking about little things until the brothers came running down the stairs.

"Axel, Axel! I found this awesome thing in the park today! You wanna go?" Roxas started jumping off the walls.

I started laughing at the boy in front of me. He started pouting at me, giving me very convincing puppy-dog eyes. "Oh don't give me that look! I was just about to ask you, I found it quite funny that you asked me first."

Roxas' face softened. "Oh."

* * *

><p>The park was filled with people standing about waiting for the performer to come on the makeshift stage. I felt a sudden urge to jump up there and dance away with Roxas glued to my hip, but I didn't. I just grabbed Roxas by the hand and pushed closer to the stage for a better view.<p>

_I saw fireworks from the freeway and behind closed eyes I cannot make them go away  
>Cause you were born on the fourth of July, freedom ring<br>now something on the surface it stings  
>that something on the surface it kind of makes me nervous who says that you deserve this<br>and what kind of god would serve this? We will cure this dirty old disease  
>if you've got the poison I've got the remedy<em>

We met with a solid wall of flesh and as I was about to maneuver around it a hand touched my shoulder. It was large, strong firm and definitely not Roxas'. I turned around to meet with another man with exploding red hair and vibrant green eyes. "Little brother! I haven't seen you in awhile. Who's this?" He placed his hand towards Roxas.

I looked at Roxas who didn't seem scared, but confused. "Reno, this is my boyfriend Roxas." I pulled Roxas in for a sweet peck on the lips and moved my ears to whisper to him. "This is my older brother who went missing when I started high school. He somehow found our birth mother."

Roxas nodded and nibbled on my earlobe. I pulled away and gave him a glare, he was totally not going to get away with that.

"I see you've found someone worth your wild Axel. I wish you could see my boyfriend, well soon to be fiancé, I'm proposing tonight!" He looked happier than I've seen him in a long time.

"Well, where is he?" I asked.

"Backstage, he's a pyrotechnician, I think you might like him a lot." He winked. "Ah, there he is now." He yelled over his boyfriend. "Daniel, this is my brother Axel and his boyfriend Roxas." We both shook his hand

_The remedy is the experience. It is a dangerous liaison  
>I say the comedy is that it's serious. Which is a strange enough new play on words<br>I say the tragedy is how you're gonna spend the rest of your nights with the light on  
>So shine the light on all of your friends because it all amounts to nothing in the end.<em>

_I won't worry my life away._  
><em>I won't worry my life away.<em>

"So, I hear you and my brother are dating?" I questioned. I couldn't help it, I was curious.

Daniel scratched the back of his head. "If you're not going shoot me, then yes I am." He looked at Reno and smiled. "Most certainly yes."

I laughed. "You gave a good answer, pure and honest. I like you."

Roxas hit me in the arm. "More than me?" His eyes looking away in fake anger.

"Oh you know after last night I don't think you have a right to say that." I laughed at him. "I think you're more of the person who'd do that, not me."

Roxas laughed at that. "Oh, you should probably watch your back. I'm pretty good with knives." He winked walking in the direction we were just going, before the whole interruption.

Good thing we aren't in a kitchen then, he's all mine to torture.

_I heard two men talking on the radio in a cross fire kind of new reality show  
>Uncovering the ways to plan the next big attack<br>they were counting down the days to stab the brother in the be right back after this  
>the unavoidable kiss, where the minty fresh death breath is sure to outlast his catastrophy<br>dance with me, because if you've got the poison, I've got the remedy_

Our two intruders followed us to our spot. Reno touched my shoulder, tenderly. "I was going to ask, but maybe later?"

I shook my head. "Go ahead now, I figured that's why you grabbed me in the first place."

Reno smiled. "You always did know how to read me best, good thing we haven't changed that much." He took a deep breathe in. "Are you going to see mom? She's dying to at least meet the other son she had to give up."

I shook my head. "I thought I told you this yesterday when I texted you, she's going to have to wait. I'll show up, but not now – too much on my shoulders."

I heard him sighed. "Axel, that's the problem. Mom, she might not have that much time left. All she wants is a look at you and then she's content with whatever she faces next. You don't have to say anything to her."

I looked at him. "We'll talk about this later, maybe tomorrow." I said and grabbed Roxas by the back, seeing Jason Mraz appearing on the stage.

"Okay, for my first song of the night I'll be singing 'Remedy (I Won't Worry). Everyone, please start clapping with me." The whole audience was entranced with his movements and voice, starting to follow him. I started swaying Roxas to the beat.

_When I fall in love I take my time  
>There's no need to hurry when I'm making up my mind<br>You can turn off the sun but I'm still gonna shine and I'll tell you why  
>Because<em>

_the remedy is the experience. It is a dangerous liaison_  
><em>I say the comedy is that it's serious. Which is a strange enough new play on words<em>  
><em>I say the tragedy is how you're gonna spend the rest of your nights with the light on<em>  
><em>So shine the light on all of your friends because it all amounts to nothing in the end.<em>

_I won't worry my life away._  
><em>I won't worry my life away.<em>  
><em>I won't and I won't and I won't<em>

One after another more of his songs came and went and the audience roared with laughter, tears and surprise. It was after the song 'Prettiest Friend' that Reno went up on stage with Daniel.

"Now, we all have a surprise for you all here. This man here is our pyrotechnician who helped built our delightful stage here." The crowd roared with applause. "And here is his boyfriend of three years," the crowd awed. "Reno here has something he wants to ask."

After getting the microphone from the singer, Reno knelt down to one knee and utters the prettiest words out of the mouth of his. "I love you, with all my heart. I know that you thought that marriage between us was not a good idea, but this isn't about us getting married, it's about us being together for the rest of our lives and having proof to show it. Please Daniel Jacob Steven Relic, will you marry little old me?"

Daniel stood there in shock, either contemplating what was happening or fear of what was going on. Finally he smiled the brightest smile I've seen on anyone's face. "Yes." Was muttered into the microphone. "Of course you big lummox."

And they kiss, a sweet short loving kiss that made the crowd go wild. That's when Jason grabbed the microphone form Reno and walked over towards us. "And to show us how much we love the community here, I'm pulling these two lovebirds from the crowd. Out of everyone here I think you two were the two people the stood out the most, and deserve this song."

_Well you've done done me and you bet I felt it  
>I tried to be chill but you're so hot that I melted<br>I fell right through the cracks  
>and now I'm trying to get back<br>Before the cool done run out  
>I'll be giving it my bestest<br>Nothing's going to stop me but divine intervention  
>I reckon it's again my turn to win some or learn some<em>

_I won't hesitate no more, no more  
>It cannot wait, I'm yours<em>

It was definitely a song that needed no introductions. I grabbed Roxas by the waist and gave him kiss on the lips, we both melted into it completely forgetting where we were. The longer it lasted the more the intoxication of the song swept us over the edge.

_Well open up your mind and see like me  
>Open up your plans and damn you're free<br>Look into your heart and you'll find love love love love  
>Listen to the music of the moment people dance and sing, we're just one big family<br>It's our God-forsaken right to be loved loved loved loved loved_

_So I won't hesitate no more, no more_  
><em>It cannot wait I'm sure<em>

_There's no need to complicate_  
><em>Our time is short<em>  
><em>This is our fate, I'm yours<em>

Roxas let go for much needed air and we finally came back to our senses. Looking around the stage, I gave him another hug and we once again swayed to the music. Roxas looked up and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

"So far, this is the best first date ever." He said, before quickly capturing my lips again.

_Do you want to, come on, scootch over closer dear  
>And I will nibble your ear<em>

_I've been spending way too long checking my tongue in the mirror_  
><em>And bending over backwards just to try to see it clearer<em>  
><em>But my breath fogged up the glass<em>  
><em>And so I drew a new face and I laughed<em>  
><em>I guess what I'll be saying is there ain't no better reason<em>  
><em>To rid yourself of vanities and just go with the seasons<em>  
><em>It's what we aim to do<em>  
><em>Our name is our virtue<em>

_But I won't hesitate no more, no more_  
><em>It cannot wait, I'm yours<em>

"I hope so. Cause this is a once in a lifetime moment." I smiled, recapturing his sweet strawberry poison lips.

He pulled away soon after. "Like seeing your birth mom?"

I chuckled. "So you over heard us?"

"Ya."

_Well open up your mind and see like me  
>Open up your plans and damn you're free<br>Look into your heart and you'll find that the sky is yours  
>so please don't, please don't, please don't.<br>There's no need to complicate  
>'cause our time is short<em>

_This oh, this oh, this is our fate, I'm yours_

Jason walked over to us and gave us a hug. Without his microphone he said, "its couples like you that make my heart be filled with pride and gets me to my next song. Next I see you too, you're probably going to be like them." He chucked his head in my brother's direction. "After the show come find me, I want to give you guys autographs."

We both nodded and walked off stage, smiling and waiting for the wonderful day to keep getting better and better.

* * *

><p>We reached the front door around 2am and were both scared to go in. before we could even decide what to do, the door open to Soraa's smiling face and let us in. "You two are up late, have fun?"<p>

We both nodded and headed to our room.

Once there Roxas closed the door and sat on my bed with me. "You are going to see your mom, right? Before she dies?"

I sighed. I really did want to see her, but I didn't want to miss her when she's gone. "Maybe."

"Maybe? You've got to be kidding me Axel."

"You're sounding like Terra."

"Which isn't helping your case, is it."

"Nope."

"Can I ask why?"

"Sure."

Roxas glared at me. "Why?"

"I'm afraid that I'll miss her too much if I see her now, from what Reno said- she could be on her deathbed."

"More reason to see her."

"Will you go with me?"

"We could all go with you, if that's what you want."

I shook my head, looking him straight in the eyes. "No, just you."

"Sure Axel, if that's what you want."

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: Wah! Okay, I'm sorry for not updating and not telling you guys. If you guys found my tumblr page, you've realized that I wasn't going to post because of hell week and then post hell week came and I was doing catch up work… DX I hate school. So im praying that you guys don't hate me for a late chapter… again.<strong>

**So now that school has died down and the only two projects I have are due in April (a bridge for physics and a survey for Challenge and change which will eventually end up on my profile when we do it…) I'll be able to write more frequently :)**

**Okay, I was thinking for kicks that Roxas should wake Axel up moaning 'Mansex' (Mansex meaning Xemnes because that's what everyone who isn't really in his fandom call him…) but Axel takes it a different way? What do ya think?**

**[1] this is from Kamikaze Kaitou Jeanne. The character Maron has that problem that I spoke about. It's a really cool manga to read and interesting anime to watch, so if you want you should watch it! :) I liked it ;)**


	24. The Meeting

**The Meeting**

I stood there for half an hour with Roxas, waiting for the right time to see him. My brother Reno suggested that we meet him here five minutes ago, but he has yet to show up. Roxas was bouncing up and down looking for the same flaming hair that I had, mine that day was tied back in a ponytail, okay let me rephrase; I attempted to pull it back into a ponytail. The top portion of it managed to leave the rest and remained it usual flaming selfish.

"I can't find him." Roxas piped up. "It's not like he's hard to find with hair like yours."

I laughed at him. "I guess that is true, but Reno always was able to conceal his hair very well." I looked over to the side. "Unlike me."

Roxas giggled at that, yes _giggled_. "Well I like it like that, so I'm not complaining."

I smiled. "Thanks, and I think I've found him."

Roxas glanced over the place once again, attempting to find my brother once again. Knowing that he wouldn't be able to without having X-ray vision, I grabbed his arm and pulled him in the opposite direction than he was looking. In the far corner was a man with his faded brown hat slightly covering his eyebrows. It was the same hat I gave him as a graduation present, although it was faded compared to the when it was given, proudly sitting on his head. He had sat down at a table for four, clearly anticipating Roxas coming with me.

"Reno, I wouldn't have recognized you if it weren't for the hat." I told him as we sat down. Reno just smiled and pulled off the hat, his red hair fumbling down in effect.

"You're right. It was a quite effective gift on your part." He smiled at Roxas. "And I'm glad you came too. Our mom would be delighted to see her future son-in-law"

Roxas blushed at the comment as I kicked Reno under the table. "Reno please don't scare him off, we've only been dating for a couple of days."

Reno laughed at that. "You can't be serious! I swear you guys have been at least dating for a couple of months!" I shook his head and turned to me. "If you guys haven't been dating long, why bring him."

Roxas pouted and I smiled. "He's the one who pushed me to come, plus I think that I needed someone to kick me in the skins if I bailed. Out of everyone I know he'd definitely do that." I looked over at Roxas and smiled. "Plus I'm taking him out to get sea-salt ice-cream later. Small outing before we go out with friends."

Roxas sighed. "Do we really have to go see that stupid movie?"

I laughed. "What movie do you want to see?"

"This Means War."

"I'll see if I can convince them."

Reno looked at us and coughed, causing me and Roxas to blush. "Sorry for the interruption, but we came to meet for a reason. What's up?"

Roxas looked at me and smiled in a reassured manner. We'd promised last night that I was doing this now, not later. "Why did mom just get up and leave out of our lives?"

Reno sighed as he looked quickly at the door; bored looked he glanced at Roxas before he began. "Well I guess I should start at the beginning. Axel, you and I are actually half-brothers; our mom is the only relation we have to one another. When I was born, it was because the man our mom was sleeping with at the time wasn't using protection and mom didn't have the pills we can use today. When she got pregnant she tried to escape the world she was living in, and she did for a good amount of the time. That's when she found your dad, I think his name was Ryou, he was part of a government association in her hometown. He helped mom by moving to a more discreet location and gave her a fake name. It worked for a while, a couple of years past and there was no sign of anyone from the gang. Mom thought that her pimp finally gave up and she moved on with her life, bumping into Ryou was a complete coincidence but it started off something great. I was three when they were dating and planning on getting married. They didn't want to have you before the wedding, but you came before expected however they didn't care." Reno sighed looking down at the table now. "I wish he were still alive, cause then we wouldn't have been put inside that terrible place but our mom's pimp found her and a huge shooting went out. I was at the park with you and Ryou and when we came back he told me to take you to our neighbour's house and stay there. Neither of them came to pick us up."

I felt Roxas' gaze on me as he placed his hand on mine. I kept my gaze on Reno, whose head was down. "That can't be it."

Reno looked up and gave a weak smile. "Of course not, though it's almost done." He took a deep breath before looking over at Roxas. "I'm glad you're here, this is hard as is but I'm glad you are going to help." Roxas only nodded for him to continue. "After the sun set I got worried and walked into the house. Mom was on the floor, blood running across the tiles and I ran to look for Ryou. Three blocks away from the house, he lay on the concrete with five bullet holes in his chest. I screamed out extremely loud and sunk into the ground crying, that's where my friend Otogi's mother found me and called the cops. You and I went to the closest relatives that would take us, which was that hellhole."

I looked over at Roxas, whose face was scrunched together as water threatened to move down his eyes. He gazed into my eyes and smiled, looking over at Reno quickly before giving me a peck on the cheek. "It'll be okay, I'm here for you Axel."

* * *

><p>Reno said that he'd go and talk to mom and call me later about meeting her. So Roxas and I went to my favourite ice cream shop along my middle school. It brought back mainly pleasant memories, but Roxas being here was the best of them all bringing a smile to his face.<p>

We reached the shop before it was rush hour, much to my delight. Both of us got up there and order the same, laughing as we did so. The clerk smiled at us and pointed to the emptiest part of this place. I nodded at her and led Roxas over there, smiling mischievously. Roxas giggled as went happily to the spot the girl pointed to. I push his chair back and he sat down.

"Thank you dear sir."

"You're welcome my dear man."

We started laughing as I sat down, the only silence being created by us eating our ice cream. I looked up and noticed some sea salt ice cream on his nose. I smiled at him and leaned in to lick it off, successful in my attempt. Roxas jumped and glared, only to hear me laugh once again.

"What's so funny?"

I was still laughing as I answered. "I'm sorry, you pout is just so adorable." I quickly took a breathe. "I'm sorry, you had ice cream on your nose and I just _had_ to lick it off."

Roxas smiled. "Well if that's the case-" He leaned in a lick my cheek. "-that makes us even."

I smiled and put my hands in my pocket. "I guess that does."

It was then that I noticed the piece of paper in my hands. It was something my brother gave me back at the coffee shop, saying that my mother wrote it for my dad. He wanted me to read it. The paper was folded into a messy rectangle, my brother's pocket moving the once perfect piece of paper. I smiled at it, looking at Roxas.

"What is that anyways?" He asked, I just shrugged at him and unfolded it.

"Reno said it was something that my mom wrote for my dad. Do you wanna read it?"

Roxas smiled. "Of course."

I finished unfolding it, looking at the elegant script written across the paper. It surely wasn't my brother's scrawl of writing as the poem laid across the page. I read it quickly to myself, a tear dropped down my face. Roxas swept it away with his finger and placed the paper on the table. The poem was like that of Saix, elegant and beautiful.

**Cold**

**Cold daunting hands  
><strong>**Ever searching for warmth  
><strong>**Pushing against the earth  
><strong>**Failing in its quest**

**Cold piercing sounds  
><strong>**Filling the ever quiet home  
><strong>**Removing the once sanctuary  
><strong>**Chaos left in its place**

**Beneath the shadows did it cry  
><strong>**Trembling with great fear  
><strong>**Lost its battle along the winding road  
><strong>**Blackened earth remains**

**Hope only shows in mercy's eyes  
><strong>**Guiding the souls to the peak  
><strong>**Which is where the dead will lie  
><strong>**Praying to be forsaken**

**With battle of cold arms  
><strong>**Which pierce through mortal skin  
><strong>**The warmth of the world forgotten  
><strong>**And the earth will blacken once more**

Roxas placed his hand on mine and smiled. "I'm here for you. You know that, right?"

I smiled at him. "Of course I do Roxas, and I'll always be there for you too."

* * *

><p><em>Playground school bell rings again<br>Rain clouds come to play again  
>Has no one told you she's not breathing?<br>Hello, I am your mind giving you someone to talk to  
>Hello<em>

We were waiting outside of the theatre, waiting for Demyx to finally show. Zexion said that he had a rough night with his dad and that he would probably be here soon. I surely didn't think he'd be here anytime soon, but before the movie started. I took out my phone and opened it writing as poetically as possible for me. It was about the father I never knew, if that made any sense at all.

Waiting in the Dark

**Creeping through the blackened shadows**  
><strong>Sleeping through bluish sky<strong>  
><strong>Shining brightly within the darkness<strong>  
><strong>Which you'll never see<strong>

**Humming a silent song**  
><strong>Words omnipresent within the air<strong>  
><strong>Whipping thorns as the blood fell<strong>  
><strong>Tears, crystals of the forsaken<strong>

**He is the reaper**  
><strong>Nightmare demon of your dreams<strong>  
><strong>Blood soaked hands rough<strong>  
><strong>Bewitching your inner most thoughts<strong>

Zexion looked over my shoulder, his breath started to jagged. I looked up and smiled, mouthing the words 'I'm sorry'. It wasn't as if it were any good, probably 10 times worse than Saix's regular work. Zexion shook his head, but looked up as if nothing happened. It was at this time that Demyx decided to present us with his personality.

"Zexy! Oh my God guys, I'm sooooooo sorry I'm late!" he ran, smacking Zexion into the nearest wall with his hug. "I didn't mean to, but dad wouldn't let me leave. I'm so happy I have that ladder in my room."

Ventus and looked at him. "What do you mean?" Ventus asked.

Terra looked over at him. "Demyx's dad is an alcoholic, so he often doesn't let Demyx out of the house. It got so bad that Demyx often had to leave but didn't have the way, so we decided to make him a rope ladder and tree house in his backyard."

Ventus and Roxas nodded as we walked to the arcade. Zexion got here early and brought all of our tickets for us, we are actually glad to have him here.

Have you ever been on a double date? Well I haven't, and yet here I am with _two _other couples on me and Roxas' second date. Can someone say awkward? To my left was a make-out session that could have been the starting of a porno, however that was the most intense out of the two. Ventus and Terra were giving each other butterfly kisses, sweet and completely pure. I grabbed Roxas' hand and led him off to the Dance Dance Revolution game down the stairs, when we reached it he smiled and took out the tokens and waited on the platform. I of course joined him, stepping on the first platform as he put the token in the machine.

"What song do you want to do first?" Roxas asked, hands working the controls.

"Anything is fine. I'll still kick your ass."

Roxas laughed. "You sure about that? Okay then, what level do you want?"

"Medium."

Roxas only nodded and placed in the info then hit the green button to start the track. It was one that I did often here in the arcade, but I quickly looked over at Roxas' screen. Roxas had placed his on hard and was going at it. I quickly looked at my screen and tried my hardest to keep up with his pace. It was pretty hard, but I still won the round. Two more rounds were done and Roxas beat me in the long run. I only laughed**.**

_If I smile and don't believe  
>Soon I know I'll wake from this dream<br>Don't try to fix me, I'm not broken  
>Hello I am the lie living for you so you can hide<br>Don't cry_

* * *

><p>We had finished the movie when Reno called me. I quickly answered it a stepped away from the others, Roxas followed. "Hey, what's up?"<p>

Reno's voice sounded a bit shaky on the other end. "Well, I talked to mom and she said that you should come over now. And if you could, will you bring Roxas? She wants to meet him too."

I looked at Roxas, whose head was tilted. "I'd have to ask him if he'd even like to see mom." Roxas pointed to himself as I nodded, he'd nodded as well and I smiled. "One sec, let me go ask." I grabbed Roxas with my other hand and leaned in for a kiss, it wasn't long but its purpose made me high. I heard us both pant as I lifted the phone to my ear. "He says sure. What hospital are you at? We'll drive down there now."

Reno chuckled on the other side. "That didn't sound like talking, Axel did you just say that so you can kiss your boyfriend?"

"Maybe, just answer my question Reno."

"Kichirumo General, now answer mine."

"Yes, happy?"

"Very."

I hung up on him and Roxas grabbed my hand. We walked over to the others who were playing that Deal or No Deal game. Zexion had three cases left and still had the 1 million dollars in those cases. "Hey guys."

Demyx looked over at me. "Where did you two go?" He asked with a winked

"My brother called; do you guys want to go see my mom?"

They all looked at me then each other. I saw Terra nod, looking at Ventus right after. Ventus nodded at Terra and smile at me. Zexion both just clamped my shoulder. "Sure Axel."

* * *

><p><em>Suddenly I know I'm not sleeping<em>  
><em>Hello, I'm still here<em>  
><em>All that's left of yesterday<em>

My brother waited for up in front of the hospital. His hair was still inside of the hat, green eyes glimmering with the light from above. "I see you brought everyone."

I laughed. "Why wouldn't I Reno, this is important for all of us." I looked around, smiling at them. "They all deserve to see her."

They all gave me a group hug and we walked into the hospital grounds. Reno led us through the corridors, whistling a happy tune. Suddenly he stopped at the door. "She's in there. You all go in, I'm going to call Daniel to tell him the good news."

I nodded and walked in with the rest of them. My mother looked up and smiled, green eyes glowing as her lips stretched across her face.

"I'm so glad you're here. All of you, it's nice to meet you all. Reno has talked about some of you while he was here, my name is Kajima Firoja."

All of us greeted her and sat down, smiling at the woman in the hospital gown. "I'm glad you're all good people, for there's something I'm about to tell you that you are not going to like." Terra sighed and looked at the door. _What is going on?_

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: I am sooooooooooo sorry. This was planned to be here on Wednesday, but I learned last weekend that my aunt had passed away. I'm sorry that I wasn't ready when I was supposed to be, or that I didn't let you know in advance. The people that check my tumblr or reviewed later did find out, but I still feel bad.<strong>

**Anyway, I'm taking an idea that I got from candy a while ago that I seem to like right now :) I'll see how this goes xD**

**Review by clicking the button below :) It also sends you newly made brownies too! ;) also if you leave an idea down it might use it in future chapters :D**


	25. You Said What?

**You Said What?**

My mother's words followed by Terra's sigh seemed fresh in my brain. Sure it only happened a moment ago, but there was something going on here. "What do you mean mom?"

My mother looked up and me and gave a wearily smile, but completely ignored my question. "Terra, I'm guessing you might already know what I'm talking about?" She looked him up and down. "You reminded me of my friend from school, oh that was so long ago I seem to forget her name. Oh yes, Demetria! How is she doing?"

Terra looked away, frown plastered on his face. "She's been fine, often worries about you."

My mother sighed. "Of course she would, I'll have to look her up and let her come visit me. I do miss her very much."

I felt anger boil inside of me, fire reaching the top hairs of my skin. I felt the same sensation that of two weeks ago at school, the same painting that was left unfinished. I looked at my mother. "What's going on mother?

"Something that if I haven't seen for myself, I wouldn't believe." She looked to the side, completely and utterly glazed over. "I'm sure some of you had dreams about other places with the people in this same room. Don't be shy, it is only natural. These dreams were meant to show you something, something that your past selves lost. All of these things end up the same thing in the end, your hearts."

We all looked at each other, Zexion placed his hand on my shoulder – was that tears I saw in his eyes? Ventus looked up at Terra, who still looked away from us all – he wanted to flee. Demyx finally just stared at my mom, probably thinking she was either crazy or a great storyteller – his eyes looked like they accepted the truth. Finally my eyes laid on Roxas, they looked lost, almost frightened. I thought about his night terrors, remembering the words he slurred in his sleep – his nightmares, no night terrors were reality. I took a glance at Terra and then my mother. "What are you talking about?"

She sighed before looking out her small window. "I heard from Reno that you use to have dreams of him committing suicide to save you, he burnt to death in front of you. Honey that was never Reno, that was always you. You see this realm holds very powerful people wielding what we call keys. To them they are not just keys to open doors, but a tool to wield great strength in both magic and power." She looked at Terra, taking a deep breathe in the process. "Some of you were these great keybearers, and all of you died in very different ways. Some by the hands of others in this room, others by defending those you care about."

Zexion's hand left my shoulder; I heard his soft grunt behind me. I spun around to catch him, only to have him swat away my hand. "Don't touch me Axel."

Demyx was beside him in a second, completely confused about what is going on. I tried to think of something _I'd _done to him. A buzzing reached my ears; I placed my hands over them and closed my eyes. What I saw terrified me. There was me in all black with this younger boy threatening to kill Zexion. No, I wasn't threatening; I was plotting out loud to him, taunting him. I never remember being this _mean._ "Zexion I'm sorry, but that isn't me!"

Terra walked over to us, hands on our chests. "Guys, calm down. Whatever you guys are talking about can wait for a moment; this isn't all that you need to hear."

His hand was grounded, like he was a part of the earth itself – why do I feel so hot all of sudden?

I sat down in the chair next to my mother's bed, taking my shirt in my hand and using it to fan myself off. I remember all of those fires I had done when I was a kid never made me feel like this. When I was a kid – did I ever feel satisfied with the burning? _No._

_When you try your best, but you don't succeed  
>When you get what you want, but not what you need<br>When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep  
>Stuck in reverse<em>

Terra sighed; I could feel his musty earth-like breathe on my face. It travelled up my face to my ear; it was even and never wavered. "Just breathe Axel, quick as wisp like. You'll feel better, trust me." I did as I was told, and my surrounds once again started to compute around me. I saw Zexion muttering under his breathe, chanting – those words never did sound human. Demyx was beside him, calm – that smile that barely faded away from his face. Roxas and Ventus were on the other side of the room, hair completely blown around in the usual craziness; but I just realized that it seemed windblown – had it always been like that? My mother just smiled at me like nothing happened, looking at Terra before once again looking out the window – was that fear or regret in her eyes?

My mother's voice continued the ring throughout the room. "There are many mysteries throughout the world, any world, but what each and every world agrees on in the number of the across the night sky. For every star there is a different world the grace us with a different culture and laws, the keybearers were people that travelled to these worlds and kept the balance. The essence of light and darkness are always one, they cannot exist without the other. It's the same with the worlds; they are meant to separated, but joined by the sky."

Zexion's voice sounded his words raspy and spent. "But we have been past the sky and into the space that contain them, how come we've never seen these worlds before?"

The woman chuckled. "That's because they are so bright that they appear as stars, only those with others means of travel can reach such places."

Demyx gently let go of Zexion's shoulder, testing his strength before looking up. "What other ways are there?"

Terra looked at Ventus. "Key bearers may have the ability to go through of there own using paths of light. Users of Darkness used similar paths called 'Corridors of Darkness' and the last natural willing away is by a Star Shard."

"Only the Star Shard has a mind of its own sometimes." My mother continued. "Other ways would be by Gummi Ship or being thrown into another after yours was destroyed. Usually the latter happened then any."

_And the tears come streaming down your face  
>When you lose something you can't replace<br>When you love someone, but it goes to waste  
>Could it be worse?<em>

Ventus looked at his boyfriend, a gust of blowing air burst through the window swirling around him. "How do you guys know so much?"

Terra didn't respond, only lowered his eyes. My mother apparently had no shame. "I learned it from my grandfather. He wasn't part if it but he is deeply connected by the flow of time in which this world was created. This story is older than all of you can grasp. Life as we know it was created because of it. This world has been unaffected for so long, but now it's the time we need to fight."

"My mother was the wife of a man named Ansem the Wise, he had a nephew and a niece who both bore terrible tales in their past lives."

"What do you know Terra?"

"According to my mother; the darkness shrouding this realm has been around for a while, lying about from the worlds. Something caused it to move, and form what I know it was called 'The Keybalde War.'"

I tilted my head sideways. "But mom said that we all weren't Keybearers."

Terra smiled. "I know."

"Then how are we all connected?" Roxas asked.

Terra sighed, my mother remained quiet. "In general, a boy named Sora. He affected all of our lives in one way or another; directly or indirectly." He glanced around the room, never once looking in our eyes. "However there is a connection in this room that would be Roxas."

Roxas' eyes opened. "Me" his hand pointed to himself.

My mother interjected. "Roxas; number XIII, wielder of the light, also known as 'Key of Destiny' the anagram for Sora." She looked into Roxas' eyes. "Sora was a noble boy; sacrificing his heart to save his friend Kairi, turning into a heartless. Thus body began to move with a will of its own, creating the being known as Roxas."

We all looked at her like she was nuts, even Terra. "The only nobody that didn't technically die, only to give back Sora the remainder of what he lost heart and body wise."

_Lights will guide you home  
>And ignite your bones<br>And I will try to fix you_

_And high up above or down below_  
><em>When you're too in love to let it go<em>  
><em>But if you never try you'll never know<em>  
><em>Just what you're worth<em>

_Lights will guide you home_  
><em>And ignite your bones<em>  
><em>And I will try to fix you<em>

Demyx looked at her funny. "The rest of us died?"

"Yes and no, number IX 'Melodious Nocturne' Most of you did not die in the way you are thinking. However Demyx, you died at the hands of Sora under the night sky." She looked at me. "On the case of Axel; number VII, 'Flurry of Dancing Flames he died by sacrificing his existence to Sora. His dying words were apparently warm as he felt like he had a heart."

Terra frowned. "But Nobodies don't have a hearts."

"Exactly."

Terra's eyes darted away when she spoke, looking at Ventus. I darted my eyes away, facing Roxas instead. He had crept closer to me, only one step away. His face seemed broken, eyes glazed over but they still shown with great light. He was muttering something under his breathe, words incoherently.

I got up and pulled him into my chest, hand in his windblown blonde hair. "It's okay Roxas." I cooed. "I'm right here, just let me in."

"Xion." His words were rasp.

My mother's soft hand was on my back, supportive and assertive in nature. "What's wrong with Xion?" she asked.

Roxas gripped my shirt tighter. "She's, she's fading. I don't want her too."

Ventus could be heard behind me trying to get out of Terra's grasp, who could be heard talking to Zemyx. "Let Axel take care of it."

I looked at Roxas, eyes searching for anything; emotion, movement, _life_. "Roxas, Xion isn't going to leave you completely. She'll always be here." I pointed to his heart. "And, I'll let you in on a little secret between us." I moved my lips to his ear. "She can't die, not when you remember her Roxas. Got that memorized?"

_Tears stream down on your face  
>When you lose something you cannot replace<br>Tears stream down on your face  
>And I...<em>

Roxas blinked, his eyes finally returned to reality. "That's how we stay immortal Roxas, okay?" I gave him a big smiled, he returned it nodding.

"Who's Xion?" Demyx asked. I shrugged, although the name did seem familiar.

"She's part of my past life, if what Kajima us saying is true." Roxas answered. "We were part of the same organization I worked in; she wielded a Keyblade, though I remember someone calling it fake."

My mother smiled. "Well, I think visiting hours are almost done." She came to face us and smile. "I really want to tell you guys more, but this is all I can say now. You all have felt something, I know that much. Don't fight it, just let it out."

* * *

><p>Terra stopped when we reached the front doors, we all look outside to see his mother. Her hair down and rattled about, the same oceanic orbs that he bore were smiling at us.<p>

"Honey, I heard you were at the hospital! Are you alright?"

"I'm fine mom. We were seeing Axel's mom, Kajima."

I noticed the reaction to the woman's face. "Oh? Well Axel, you should probably come over today! I have something for you dear, but I can't really show it around in public."

"Demetria, I'm not sure that I can today. After school tomorrow?"

Terra's mother frowned. "You can go home with Terra, and maybe stay the night if it gets too late. You're guardians won't mind?"

Roxas put his arm on my shoulder. "I'll tell them what's going on, you can go." He smiled, but that wasn't what I was worried about.

"If anything happens, I want to be the first to know, okay?" I whispered to Roxas, looking at Ventus in the progress. Ven nodded, clearly understanding the situation.

"Of course." Roxas, whispered in my ear. "Stop being a worrywart."

I rolled my eyes. "When you stop making me worry." I smiled, kissing him lightly on his lips. He smiled into the kiss, lips opening and the once light kiss became a heated mess. Tongues were flying between the caverns and hands started to roam, when I moved away to breathe I laughed. "You'll see me either tonight or tomorrow, not need to kiss me like I'm going out to war."

Roxas chuckled. "But I wanted to."

_Tears stream down on your face  
>I promise you I will learn from my mistakes<br>Tears stream down on your face  
>And I...<em>

_Lights will guide you home_  
><em>And ignite your bones<em>  
><em>And I will try to fix you<em>

* * *

><p>Terra's house wasn't all that big, it was like how he said it was three days ago – simple. It was a bungalow in a peaceful neighbourhood. Terra smiled as we pulled into the driveway.<p>

"Sorry about my mother, even I don't know what she wants to give you." Terra said, walking into the house and leading the way around. "I guess she'll want to show you the dojo in the backyard. Take your shoes and we'll go there now."

I complied, following into the dojo in his _massive_ backyard. "Whoa!"

"I know, right?" He smiled. "This way."

The dojo was pretty big, and once we got in, there was little light to actually see anything relevant. Terra went and grabbed an unlit candle. He held it up for me and smiled. "Wanna try and light it?"

I hesitated, could I really do something like that? My mother had convinced me back in the hospital, but now with the reality in front of me – doubts. "I'll try, but if I don't make it-"

"That's fine Axel, I doubt you've never tried before." Terra smiled.

I stared at the candle, concentrating on the wick. I felt a heat rinsing from my spine, a grunted at the sensation. Closing my eyes, I bowed my head in pain only to hear muffled clapping. "You did it Axel."

I opened my eyes to see the fire in front of me. It was burning wildly, like it was growing by the second. Terra's smile was proof enough that he had done nothing, this was all me.

We walked into the clear clean floors and sat down, just talking. It had been forever since we had done something like this.

"I see you boys are comfortable." Terra jumped up and out of his skin. "You see this dojo has a very special component. Come with me to the basement." She walked away, having me and Terra chase after her. We twisted down a flight of stairs and met with a pair of double doors. "Your surprise is in there."

I opened the door and was met with an unknown item. They looked familiar, but I couldn't place where I had seen them. I picked one up and the memories flooded back, completely and utterly terrifying. I dropped it, spikes barely missing my foot. They were _my_ chakrams, the ones I used to wield the power of fire.

"Ya, you're now taking those home yet." Demetria chuckled. "Maybe you should come over every once in a while to play with those."

I looked at her. "That's fine by me."

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: YES! I made it! *starts dancing* okay, so I stayed up all night and didn't do my English hmwk…. I'm screwed tomorrow, but at least you guys are happy! :)<strong>

**How did you guys like the chapter, mental breakdowns and ending? You know how you can tell me? See that BIG BLUE BUTTON. I think it says. REVIEW. Ya, leave it there ;)**


	26. Zexion's Struggle

**Zexion's Struggle**

School at times like this are real pain. Not that it wasn't a pain before, but when you just learned that you aren't exactly normal and one of your best friends hats you – not a very good feeling.

Zexion wouldn't speak to me, nothing of any sort. The only actual acknowledgement I got from him was a nod, which did not help al all. I felt bad for what I did, but it wasn't like _I_ actually made an emotionless Zexion scared. But I remembered how it felt to destroy your existence, and it wasn't fun.

"Axel, do you, Roxas, and Ven want to come over today?" Terra mentioning my name threw me out of my personal blunder. "I was going to invite Zemyx, but the way Zexion was acting-" he stopped, looking over at the couple in the parking lot. "-I don't think that's a good idea.'"

I chuckled. "It's fine, he needs time. Let him fume, he'll do something about it when it's time."

"Let's not repeat that incident, please. It was bad enough last time."

"Hey, that was not my fault! Reno was the one that started it!"

So it wasn't your words that made him push his knuckles into your face?"

"Okay, fine. A little bit of it was my fault."

Terra smiled. "As long as you're clear on that."

I pouted and walked over to my car, getting in and slamming my door. Roxas sat in the passenger seat. I smirked and pecked him on the cheek. "Terra's gonna kill me." Roxas gave me an awkward glare. "I decided to try out some fire magic on his tires; I'm getting kind of good."

Roxas laughed, looking back at the melted tires. "Then we better get moving. He's not going to be pleased."

"So we are on the same page." I smirked. "Wanna go to our spot?" The nod of his head was all it took to put the car in motion away from the yelling Terra.

* * *

><p>We both climbed the tree to the top, my art supplies still lying in the recesses of the trunk. I pulled out my sketch pad and pencils, handing Roxas a book. His smile brightened as he grabbed a sketch pencil from the case.<p>

I started drawing a disfigured body, featureless and bare as I started a background around. It started out as circles drawn around the body, things started to fill inside of them. I looked back at it, taking in everything that I imprinted on the paper, fire and that unknown symbol behind the figure.

In each circle held an item different than the one beside it; Frisbee and chakrams were evident while other seemed trivial – a blue popsicle. Still, I smiled at it having some sort of unknown connection- as odd as that sounds.

_You're not alone  
>Together we stand<br>I'll be by your side, you know I'll take your hand  
>When it gets cold<br>And it feels like the end  
>There's no place to go<br>You know I won't give in  
>No I won't give in<em>

Roxas touched my shoulder and I immediately turned my head to see him pouting. "What's wrong Roxy?"

Roxy giggled. "You've been ignoring me for 30 minutes Axel. Of course I'm upset."

I looked up at him. Oops! "Sorry kid, I was totally zoned out there." I chuckled, putting my hand behind my head. "You've got my full attention now, what's up?" I took my hand and grabbed his chin. "Did I neglect you too much?"

Roxas' blush ensured my own battle won as he attempted to move out of my grasp. "That's not what I wanted to say." I gave him a lustful look. "Stop it Axel!"

"I'm only teasing Roxy." I said with a quick peck on the cheek. "I wouldn't hurt you, you're my everything." I let go of his chin, still keeping eye contact. "What did you want to tell me?"

"Well remember when we were talking about our dreams when we first met?"

"Ya." He was starting to scare me. Did I do _something_ to him too?

"Remember when I said I was with a black haired girl and a ginger?" he lowered his voice, almost a whisper against my ear.

"Of course I do, I spent the rest of the period trying to figure out what a ginger meant."

_So far away  
>I wish you were here<br>Before it's too late, this could all disappear  
>Before the doors close<br>And it comes to an end  
>With you by my side I will fight and defend<br>I'll fight and defend  
>Yeah, yeah<em>

"You're an idiot." He laughed, "Gingers are red heads with blue or green eyes!"

I blinked, and then I glared. "So you were saying?"

Roxas chuckled. "Well, before I couldn't see the faces that my two companions had, sure one did look _a lot_ like you but I never knew for certain. Now, I've seen there faces clearly and can truly say that they were you and Xion." His face went back to the reddening sky. "I saw your faces for the first time yesterday and you seemed to be secluding yourself from us and I wanted to know if you remember anything."

I thought about it, did I even know a black haired girl? Racking my brain for answers I saw _something_ that I hadn't seen before, but it was a redhead with a hint of something else in it. I tried putting a name to her, but it changed to a blonde that I know too well – Namine. I shook my head in frustration when I saw what I was looking for, the black haired girl.

Still, nothing appeared that I could go on. "Nope, but I don't remember everything. Maybe one day we'll find out, okay?" I put my hand on his head and moved my hand through it.

"Hey!" he swatted my hand away, or at least attempted too. "Off the hair!"

I laughed. "Your hair looks like you've just stepped off a boat Roxas." I smiled at the wind. "Plus you're brother said the same thing when I first met him." Laughter hit my lips and I leaned against the trunk of the tree. Roxas glared. "Okay! Geez, do you wanna see what I have so far?"

"Sure, here's mine." Roxas handed his and stole mine.

Smiling, I looked down to the piece of paper. The background was pure black, and only a moon-like heart stood with it. Closer to the foreground was a wall which held a window to the background, completely white. There was half a bed in the foreground, two different arms tangled together. Peaking through the corner of the page was red hair, though the rest of the person was concealed by the edge of the drawing. It wasn't perfect, but you could tell what he was going for. "It's beautiful Roxas. Is that us on the bed?"

_Hear me when I say, when I say I believe  
>Nothing's gonna change, nothing's gonna change destiny<br>Whatever's meant to be will work out perfectly  
>Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah<em>

I saw him freeze. "Maybe." He answered, grabbing the sketchpad back.

I just smiled and took mine back from him, and we sat there- away from all the crazy.

* * *

><p>Terra called me half an hour later, begging I come to his house. He said that he wasn't mad, but I could hear him seething over the line. "At least pick Ven up." Reason, why are you on his side?"<p>

So here we are at Terra's _house_ picking Ven up and his mother answers the door. "Axel, Roxas there you guys are. Ventus is scared shitless waiting for you guys!"

I gave her a skeptical look. "Okay, we'll go in and save him, where are they?"

"Living room." And she left; Roxas right behind her.

What I saw inside was quite comical, or at least to me. Zexion had tackled Terra to the ground, attempting to pull his hair out; Demyx on the other hand was laughing his ass off at the fighting in general, I was going to join him soon.

Roxas didn't seem to think it was funny, walked towards the two boys on the floor and _tried_ to separate them. Terra's strength was greater than Roxas', and he was on top of Zexion at that moment. I walked over to save the little boy from a foot to the groin, which was the evitable, by grabbing Terra by the back of his neck and pulled him up. He didn't move that far, but he did comply as Zexion pushed his fist in our direction only I didn't know about it until it hit my face.

_Keep holding on  
>'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through<br>Just stay strong  
>'Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you<br>There's nothing you could say  
>Nothing you could do<br>There's no other way when it comes to the truth  
>So keep holding on<br>'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through_

Zexion smiled when I looked at him. "You son of a bitch." I said, bringing my hand back to punch him. Terra held me back and Demyx grabbed Zexion. "Let go, he had no reason to punch me!"

"I think I have every reason!" Zexion spat, venom spewing out as spit. "You fucking murdered me in cold blood, watching with that taunting smile on your face! How do you think I feel? Do you think I was going to be okay with it? Of course not! I'm a human being Axel, not a robot much to you displeasure! _You_ made me this way."

I glared at him. "This has nothing to do with that! We weren't even talking about it that way; it was supposed to mean something else!" I know yelling back at him wasn't a good idea, but what other way could I talk to him yelling at me?

"Oh, because I totally missed that monotone comment beforehand too, you were _making_ fun of me Axel! I'm not some property that can help you with your homework, I have fe-"

Terra cut him off. "Zexion, that's not what he was saying. He was comparing the way you were before you let us in to that day. He said that you were a monotone robot that only ever spoke to give out answers, look at you now? The fact that you are yelling at him proves to us enough that you aren't a robot." His calm voice destroyed the tension in the air.

"What Terra is saying is true Zexion. We were talking with Saix about how different you were now that you started talking. Reno came along and made it worse, I actually didn't mean it that way."

Zexion looked away. "It's just that I trusted all of you, I never really had friends before Saix pretty much flung himself on me. I guess that I jumped the gun when I punched you that time. It was just that dream started coming and I couldn't make any sense of it, I was so confused and I guess I took out on you."

I saw Ventus tugged Terra's shirt in the corner of my eye. "So he's not an Atheist?"

Terra chuckled at that, but looked at Zexion. We often called him the Super Atheist, even to his face. It was kind of a running inside joke between us, he was always reading about all these evolution theories and never once spoke through the bible. Even so, Zexion never said anything about it. "Yes and no. I'm more of an agnostic type of person."

Demyx smiled at him. "Well with that out of the way, how about we start working on what ever is going on here?"

We all stared at him. Did he just sound smart? That smile on his face just made it seem like he didn't know what just happened, and Zexion's laughter just brought us all to our knees laughing. "Sure Dem, we'll get right on that." Ventus' voice came back to normal first.

The laughter died out and we all looked at each other, no one knew why the others believed this fairytale story. Sure Zexion and I have the excuse of those memories, but what did the others have?

Terra stood up and smiled. "Okay, I think we've spent enough time here. Wanna go out back?" His gaze was at me, I realized what he wanted to do and nodded. Getting up, we both walked out of the living room and into the backyard.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: Okay, long story short, I'm a weirdo…. I would have had this up yesterday but my brain just didn't want to end it, even though we clearly have an ending right there. And no, I don't mean the whole story just this chapter. So before I change my mind and manage to write a novel for a chapter, I am posting this.<strong>

**So far I only have candy asking to be my beta, but that might actually be because I told no one to review last time….. ya. Now I actually want you to review because this chapter isn't going anywhere, unless I find something that I must change! xD**


	27. Weapons, Who Needs Them?

**Weapons, Who Needs Them?**

The dojo looked different then the last time I saw it. The floors looked darker, maybe with a little red added to the floor stain. In the corner, far away from the last time I came here held a dark red blood stain. Crusted into the wood itself; probably due to someone injuring themselves in training.

Terra smiled at me as he walked to one of the benches and pulled out the chakrams. "Maybe you want to try them again? We are here."

I smiled at him. "You trust me with all these people around? I feel honoured, but I'll pass. Don't wanna kill someone."

Terra laughed, "I guess you're right, but I do have a present for the rest of you guys." Terra walked towards a closet on the other side of the room. Walking in, we all took a deep breathe in on high edge of what might come out of the closet. Terra wasn't long, nor did he have much with him. Only two boxes, one large and the other small.

Demyx was the first to break the silence. "What'cha got there?"

Terra laughed. "A present for you and Zexion actually, I tried to find the right items for Ven and Roxas, but they don't seem to be in there."

Zexion raised his brow. "What did you bring us?" he put his hand out, stretch as far as it could go. He really was curious. Terra complied and handed him the smaller box out of the two, inside was an old looking book with three of the unknown crests placed on them. "Is this a lexicon?"

Terra smiled. "Of course you would know what it is. Yes, this is a special one too." He placed his hand behind his head. "You can take it home with you."

Demyx started to jump up and down. "What's mine?" repeating against his lips, as if it would speed up the process of opening it. Terra rolled his eyes and gave Demyx the box.

"It's going to be weird, but I think you'll like it." Terra said, before Demyx nearly broke the container and found an odd looking instrument. "It's called a sitar, though I don't understand how it could be a weapon."

Demyx, still the little puppy with a new toy, strum the guitar really hard. Out of the nowhere, a pure body of water roamed around the floor. And when I say 'pure body of water' I mean a body _made_ from water. Demyx looked at it, tilting his head to the side and smiled. "That's cool"

Terra just shrugged. "I guess it would make sense, your affinity is water"

Demyx gave him a puzzling look. "My what is what?"

Zexion took his boyfriend's hand and tugged it. "He means that your abilities are all water based."

I nodded, "You're like me, expect I use fire. I'd show ya, but those chakrams are still too hard to control. I don't want anybody's heads on my mantel."

Roxas looked at me. "It can't be _that_ bad."

I rolled my eyes at him. "It is that bad. You see that big humongous hole in the wall that was not there to days ago. Completely charred up the entrance to the girl's bathroom" I sighed.

Demyx's laugh echoed through the room. "Damn, I was soooo close to saying that you did it on purpose." He snapped his fingers, I'm sure only for effect.

I rolled my eyes at his silly comment. "Of course it's just a good laugh for you." I walked over to the black box on the floor. "But if everyone wants to see me use these things then be my guest."

I saw Terra move everyone away from the corner of my eye as I picked up the strong rough metal. It felt like it belonged on my fingers, the metal becoming hot against the cool tips of my fingers. I tried to remember the words that Terra told me before that first time I threw them. _Remember the way through your distant dreams_. I found it poetic and completely unusual to me, foreign and confusing the hell out of me. Hell, I didn't even understand what he meant by it; like he just told me to follow my subconscious.

I'm an idiot.

I took a deep breath and looked where I wanted to throw them. Feeling my arms swing as I stared at the object I wanted to destroy, nothing felt clearer. Heat moved around my body, moving closer to my hands and radiating powerfully against my hand. Hearing Terra's gasp, Demyx's excitement and even Zexion's calm stare, I knew I was doing _something _right. Maybe this is it. One arm raised, then the other as my body moved by its own to curl my arms to the sides. Fingers moved in a circular motion as I thought about the sorrow of my past, of my past _life_ and nothing could change those facts. The chakrams moved off my fingers and away from my hands completely levitating with my control. I bent my arms and the heat raged on, flowing along with my emotions as I flung the chakrams toward their target.

BULLSEYE!

I looked towards my friends on the opposite side of the room as they cheered. Terra walked over and patted me on the back, his smile bright. "I think you can take those home now, and I'll teach you so no one knows you even have them on you."

Demyx looked at him. "What about me and Zexion?"

"There's nothing that I could teach you guys, all my mom knew about she taught me." Looking directly at Roxas and Ventus he sighed. "The only things I've learned about are Keyblade technique, earth magic and _that_" he pointed over at the destroyed wall. "I could give you the same pointers as I gave Axel, but I'm not sure it would work."

Zexion looked at him. "What do you mean Keyblade technique?"

Terra sighed and threw his hand up. Without another word a sword with a key-like end to it appeared in his hand. The top part where the grooves of the key were different than usual, they were border and seemed more rugged than most keys for doors. "This technique."

* * *

><p>I'm not going to say that seeing Zexion and Demyx trying their weapons aren't scary, but the<p>

fact was no one should see _how_ they used their powers was what really frightened me. Zexion is more dirty minded than we gave him credit it for, did _not_ want to see _that _much of Demyx. Demyx on the other hand didn't have to do much, his guitar string did all the work; each note creating either a new being or controlling the ones already out. It was pretty sick, but Terra wouldn't let them keep their weapons; at least for now.

Terra did give me one last lesson, showing me a way to bring my weapons around with me; without them even being on my person. It really helped with what happened, and to tell you the true I don't think me and Roxy would be here, alive stuck in the middle of nowhere.

We were walking away from home after dropping Ven with his parents and me and Roxas wanted some peace and quiet. We past most of the visible dangers by the time we got to our destination; the drug dealer's house down the street, prostitute with her pimp at a random street corner and the bar three blocks away prone to have drunken fights. Neither of us considered that the park would turn into a sheet of red, never in a million years. The dark shadows whirled around us, these dark creature attacked once we entered the park. I immediately took out my chakrams and attacked those close to us, we ran for it after they returned to my grasp attempting to find a way out. Roxas looked around us for something to fight with, concentrating on survival.

I saw his eyes close as I looked at the distance between us and those monsters. A light appeared behind my line of vision as I looked threw my chakrams at the enemies. Roxas appeared in front of me with two blades similar to Terra's. I moved towards him and nodded, throwing my chakrams in cover fire. "We got to get out of here."

Roxas smiled and moved towards the darkness. "I think it's better to retrace our steps."

Laughing, I followed him. "I couldn't agree more."

By the time we left the shroud of darkness nothing looked familiar. We were on an island, covered in palm trees away from the houses and streetlights we could call home. "What the-" Roxas choked out. "Where are we?"

I looked at him and shrugged. "Your guess is as good as mine, I've never been here in my life."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: ****I can't believe that this took soooooo long xD I feel really bad :( I'll try to get back into my weekly update mode as soon as I can. I hoped you enjoyed and are still with me….. :D**


	28. Connections, Not Made

**Connections, Not Made**

_A man stood over a cradle, his hair was long and brown, flowing down his back gracefully. The piercing yellow eyes softened while looking at the baby. "Axel, I wish you could have a life away from mine forever; but you'll need to return eventually._

_With a gust of black smoke the man turned away, hair changing to a white as pure as snow. "I'll hold on until then my friend, keep my heart happy." The man walked away leaving the baby crying, a woman appeared seconds later, red hair dishevelled and out of place._

"_Axel, shush. You'll wake up the block!" The woman cooed, she didn't notice the change in the air or her child. The mysterious man did leave a mark, one noticeable to the human eye; a tattoo below his eyes._

I woke up with a jolt, confused and out of place. Me and Roxy found a cave off in the cove of the island. Being exhausted, we decide it was safe enough to sleep, so we cuddled together and did that; sleep. I turned my head to him and smiled, he was cute. My little angel.

He rolled over, his head on my lap and I could feel myself _blushing_.

_Never made it as a wise man  
>I couldn't cut it as a poor man stealing<br>Tired of living like a blind man  
>I'm sick of sight without a sense of feeling<br>And this is how you remind me  
>This is how you remind me<br>Of what I really am  
>This is how you remind me<br>Of what I really am_

_"How many?" The hostess asked, eyeing the couple behind us._

_"Two please." Roxas said, without missing a beat. Clearly he didn't want to be them longer than necessary. The hostess nodded, scratching off a table on her chart thingie as she directed us to the dining area. It was smaller, compared to the other rooms we passed by, and more calming in the colours. It was pure lime green with forest green patterns of silhouettes._

_"Your waiter will be here shortly to take your order." The hostess spoke as she smiled and walked away, most likely to see if the lovebirds had stop harassing the other's lips. I felt sorry for her._

_Roxas didn't say a word as we both scanned the menus we had gotten, so I felt that there was nothing to say. However the tension kept turning for the worst, until it exploded into an awkward moment. I squirmed in my chair, feeling like I should say __something__, but I couldn't find any words. And even when I had a topic starter, the words just didn't seem to come out. The atmosphere just screamed '__Date!'__ that everything seemed more awkward than usual. Damn room._

_So when the waiter came up in her mini black tight skirt and purple low cut V-neck T-shirt, I was relieved. Who knew that one __random__ stranger could cut the tension I was feeling for a good three minutes?_

_"Hello, my name is Cameron and I'll be your waiter today. Have you found out what drinks you would like?"_

_I nodded quickly. "I would like a Shirley Temple." I heard Roxas chuckle. "Yes, I know such a __manly __drink."_

_Roxas started laughing harder, when he finally calm down he looked at Cameron. "I'll have a Coke with lime please."_

_The waiter nodded and continued to write on her pad of paper. "Do you guys know what you want, or do you want to wait until I give you your drinks?"_

_I looked at Roxas who nodded. "We'll now, thanks. Let's see I'll have a Shrimp Mai Fun Soup and a Fried Egg Roll as an Appetizer."_

_The waiter looked at Roxas who replied. "And I'll have an Udon with Seafood and some Fried Shrimp as an Appetizer." The waiter nodded again as she wrote it all down._

_"Thank you, I'll be back with your drinks."_

_We both smiled at the waiter as she walked away, towards the kitchen no doubt and the awkward tension began to build again._

_I smiled at him, waiting for him to something, __anything__ to ease this awkward tension. He stared back, amused by something, then he placed his hand on mine. They laid rested on the table, in plain view to everyone in the restaurant to see. My hope skyrocketed and I felt my blood boil, my Jolly Ranger began to dance around happily as my thoughts drifted away into the bliss of us. __Us.__ However life is cruel to me, and Roxas utter those terrible words that could have broken my shattered heart into million more pieces._

_"Those girls over there are staring at you. You don't have to thank me."_

_Those words snapped me out of my fantasies so fast as my whole body became depressed. My hope turned into my heart, shattered, because one thing was clear. We. Will. Only. Be. __Friends.__ He held my hand to tell those girls I would never be interested, to show that I'm taken. It was completely platonic and it __killed__ me. But then the perfect idea popped into my head. I'm a genius!_

_Quickly looking over at the girls, I smiled. They swooned, giggle at each other. I mentally chuckled. Looked at Roxas, __faking__ endearment I whispered "I don't think handholding is telling them I'm taken. If you want we could something more, __sexual__."_

_Roxas cocked a brow. "Like?"_

_"Kissing."_

_His smile dropped for a split second, before come back twice as bright. "Fine, but on one condition."_

_"Which is?" I asked, nervous as hell._

_"You have to come to this festival next weekend with me."_

_I raised an eyebrow. Really? That was it? "Why?"_

_Roxas lowered his head, clearly depressed. "Well I want to go, but Ven is going with Terra and I don't want to be a third wheel."_

_I laughed, leaning in closer. "Don't pout Roxy, I'll go." I smirked, leaning closer and closer. When we weren't even half a foot apart, breathe tickling my nose, the waiter walks in and drops our drink and appetizers on the table. We flew apart, both flushed and shaken._

I seriously wish I could have gone back to that moment and swept him off his feet with that silly kiss. Everything would have been clearer, and things might not have been so messed up.

Roxas squirmed around, and I really didn't think that was a good idea. Face down, breathing; this situation is definitely awkward. Should I wake him? No, that would mean his precious angel face will be gone.

Life doesn't always give you lemons.

I guess that isn't always a good thing. I was definitely aroused, with no way of relief and I couldn't exactly move him without waking him up. I shifted, trying, no _hoping_ not to wake him up, but of course he did, wiping away the sleep in his eyes. He lifted his head and looked into my eyes, smiling- but then he froze.

_It's not like you to say sorry  
>I was waiting on a different story<br>This time I'm mistaken  
>for handing you a heart worth breaking<br>and I've been wrong, I've been down,  
>been to the bottom of every bottle<br>these five words in my head  
>scream "are we having fun yet?"<em>

"Hey sleepy head! How was your sleep?" I asked, trying not to freak out myself. His face changed three different colours, staying a beat red. I wanted to laugh, but though about it; do not want him to be angry right now.

"It was good." He said after a while, relieving the tension of the moment. "Did I- no, did you put me this way?" He asked, noticing he was still in the position moved quickly into an upright one.

"No, I woke up and decided to site while I let you sleep. _You_ decided to roll on me in _that_ position." I sighed. "It was a bit uncomfortable and well sexual but you looked so peaceful; I wanted you to sleep." I got up and started to walk outside.

"Wait! Are you leaving me?" His voice was dark and sad.

"_No!_ I just need to quickly do something. Be _right_ back."

_It's not like you didn't know that  
>I said I love you and I swear I still do<br>And it must have been so bad  
>Cause living with me must have damn near killed you<em>

_And this is how, you remind me_  
><em>Of what I really am<em>  
><em>This is how, you remind me<em>  
><em>Of what I really am<em>

* * *

><p>By the time I got back Roxas was asleep, cuddled against the backpack I had last night. Smiling, I leaned down and kissed his forehead. Sleep my little angel.<p>

Soon after I got up and walked out, food hunting seemed like a good idea.

_He stood below a tree away from the pouring rain. Watching, no waiting for that little boy. He made a mistake; he can no follow the same path. Too much pain, hardship and loneliness._

_The same he's been feeling for the past two years._

_The brunette could not stand it, he tried to hide behind his long length hair. His adventure ended before it began, and now he hid in the shadows he fought against so dearly._

_Only one voice kept him sane, and he only heard it in his dreams._

_But the time of waiting was over so he turned, hair changing as he flew through the black portal_

I snapped my head up and stopped quickly before I ran into a bent over tree. Looking at it I noticed something, that it was the tree from my daydream.

And who _was_ that guy anyway?

He looked familiar to me, though I have no idea where I could have met him. Definitely not a school kid, he looked too old. I have to know him from _somewhere,_ but where?

School teacher made more sense, but that wouldn't explain anything. How would a school teacher be here? And who exactly was he waiting for?_ How do I know any of this?_

A sudden headache hit me, pounding like a drummer in a band. I closed my eyes and retraced my steps, being feline-like helps with that.

But seriously I need to stop thinking about all of this.

Roxas and I have been here for at least 8 hours, did anyone even know we were missing? Then we have to think about food, or the lack thereof. Not to mention-

THUD!

_It's not like you to say sorry  
>I was waiting on a different story<br>This time I'm mistaken  
>for handing you a heart worth breaking<br>and I've been wrong, I've been down,  
>been to the bottom of every bottle<br>these five words in my head  
>scream "are we having fun yet?"<em>

I looked up from the place I had fallen from, I saw a guitar case in an odd position and jolted upright. Demyx was lying in front of me with his case on top of him.

"Hello there beautiful." I laughed as Demy squirmed beneath his case. "Need some help?"

I saw the rolling of his eyes before I head him. "No, I think I like being in an earth/case sandwich.

Laughing, I took the case off him and smiled. He was always there for me. "What are you doing here?"

"Well about that-" He began, looking away. "Ven texted me saying that you and Roxas were on midnight walk. I called Zexion to follow you, but when he arrived the whole park became dark, scary really."

I glared at him. "Was Zexion near you when it happened?"

"Not even 3 feet away?"

"Then he should be nearby."

I heard Demyx squeal while I sighed, scanning the trees for the silver haired teen. Nothing could be seen behind the trees.

I didn't really expect that Zexion would follow Demyx into this, well whatever _this _is. I looked at Demyx and told him we should probably retrace our steps so we can find the silverette amongst the trees, well because Zexion would be rational and stay put until rescue came. Even if that meant sitting in the pouring rain to do so.

Yes, Zexion is _always_ rational.

We ended up where Demyx said he 'landed' and we ventured out from there. It was only a small radius that we look in. True to my expectations, Zexion was wrapped in what seemed like a blanket for a picnic on the ground sleeping. I saw Demyx smile.

"Zexion, thank goodness you're alive!" He called, I grabbed his guitar case and walked over. Zexion opened his eyes and smiled at us.

"It's good to see you Dem, you too Axel."

I sighed. "It's good to see you too. Me and Roxas got a camp in a cave nearby, we should probably regroup there. And be on the lookout for food, we'll need it eventually."

Zexion smiled and got up from his place on the ground and Demyx took his case from my hands as we walked to the cave where I left Roxas.

* * *

><p>We got to the cave and saw that Ven and Terra had arrived here as well, they were looking for shelter in case there was another storm. We all agreed that this was all crazy and turned to Terra for advice.<p>

"I have no idea what's going on, but I have an idea." He started, clearly nervous of where this was heading. "The only way I can explain this is if we got transported to another world. My mother's stories always told me that they're as many worlds as there are stars in the night sky."

Demyx was the impatient one when he cut Terra off. "What world do you think we are in?"

Terra shrugged. "That's the thing, I have no clue. If Axel, Roxas or Zexion remember something we can go from there."

Roxas squirmed a little bit. "This place seems familiar, but that's all I get. Not much help, I know."

I shook my head. "No, it just confirms Terra's theory is right. Zexion do you remember anything?"

Zexion thought about it. "Not really, though there's something nagging me about this place. And one word keeps popping up in my head every time I try and place, _here_."

Ventus looked up at him. "What would that be?"

"Destiny."

Roxas' eyes flew open wide. "Destiny Islands! That's the name of this place, I'm sure of it."

"Destiny Islands, that sounds familiar." Terra said, looking at Roxas. "Is there anything else you can remember?"

_Never made it as a wise man  
>I couldn't cut it as a poor man stealing<br>And this is how you remind me  
>This is how you remind me<br>This is how you remind me  
>Of what I really am<br>This is how you remind me  
>Of what I really am<em>

My past dreams flash before my eyes, and when I blinked them away everyone was staring at me. "What?" I asked, clearly confused on what was going on.

Roxas leaned against me. "Are you okay? You seem distant for a while there. We thought you fell asleep with your eyes open."

"Yah, it's just this daydream I had when I was looking for food. It was definitely was someone here."

Zexion looked at me. "What did they look like?"

I thought back to the man I saw. The warmth in his golden or blue eyes, the way his long white hair seemed to move with wind. He definitely had a strong build, and his gaze out into the water once seemed hard; old. But I couldn't even get any of these words out; I lifted my head to speak. Right into Terra's eyes.

That's when I screamed.

_It's not like you to say sorry  
>I was waiting on a different story<br>This time I'm mistaken  
>for handing you a heart worth breaking<br>and I've been wrong, I've been down,  
>been to the bottom of every bottle<br>these five words in my head  
>scream "are we having fun yet?"<em>

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: I feel sooooooooo bad for not posting earlier. Summer school got in the way and well I haven't had a twitch to write a lot at the moment. Hopefully the next chapter will be out soon, but a lot of crap in my life is happening and I might not get the chance to write.<strong>


	29. Old Friend's Return

**Old Friend's Return**

My scream resonated through the cave as I collapsed back down on the ground after my plunder. Everyone had their eyes closed as the sound became too loud for them.

"Axel what the hell was that about?" Demyx asked, the first the recover from the noise due to his long time with his amp back home. One after the other the rest of them regain their composure.

"Yeah Axel! There was no need to yell that loud." This time it was Terra who spoke up. "What spooked you?"

I love how he immediately goes to that conclusion; even Roxas had that look on his face that spoke the same thing. But the question was "what was so frightening?" Was it the clarity of who that person was?

Everyone was staring at me now, intently. "Oh, nothing. Thought I saw something" I lied. Terra didn't seem to believe me, giving me that this-is-not-over look. I rolled my eyes and tuned myself back into the conversation.

"There has to be some way out of here" Demyx whined. He fell backwards in a huff and continued to whimper.

"Then think of something" Zexion said, completely monotone.

Ventus rolled his eyes. "Guys there isn't one, just face it." He huffed then continued, "We should just check out this island and find a way to cope."

Everyone just looked at him. "Oh my god are you alright?" Roxas said, "where's your optimism!? You use to wear it like it was the only thing on."

"Oh really? Well I'm fet up with pretending, pretending that nothing is wrong anymore. I've been lying to myself all these years, I've only needed one thing." Ventus got up and walked to the mouth of the cave. "My happily ever after, and I had it. After all that crap we went through, I desperately needed it." And he walked off.

"Ventus! Where are you going?" Roxas yelled, running after him.

"What the hell?" Terra cursed, rushing after the brothers. I would have too, but my body just felt so weak.

I just couldn't keep it together; my eyes started to droop, I tried to stand but fell on the ground. My ass stung and I heard my friends in the background. My voice wouldn't speak up. I was falling into the blackness, and no one could keep me from falling.

_Just a day,  
>Just an ordinary day.<br>Just trying to get by.  
>Just a boy,<br>Just an ordinary boy.  
>But he was looking to the sky.<br>And as he asked if I would come along  
>I started to realize<br>That everyday he finds  
>Just what he's looking for,<br>Like a shooting star he shines._

* * *

><p><em>The man stood in front of a blonde boy, though the man's eyes were not the same. The intent in his eyes were deadly. The rise of poison followed his features.<em>

"You will be our thirteenth, Roxas." Roxas, the blonde looked up to my viewing point, his glassy stare boring into me.

The man removed his hood and revealed a dark tan skin. His hair moved completely out of the way, creating a white veil behind him and down his back. His lips moved toward the boy named Roxas and spoke. "Or the shell containing Ventus, I suppose."

This man moved with such guided grace towards the boy but his words were puzzling. Nobodies could not contain hearts, even people other than their own. The man left the boy in confusion, multiplying with each step he took.

"I can't hold on forever my friend." An omniscient voice spoke. "Hurry or none of me will be left."

As soon as the words echoed through the white polished room, both males left is a gust of black smoke.

_And as he spoke, he spoke ordinary words  
>Although they did not feel<br>For I felt what I had not felt before  
>And you'd swear those words could heal.<br>And as I looked up into those eyes  
>His vision borrows mine.<br>And I know he's no stranger,  
>For I feel I've held him for all of time.<em>

_And he said take my hand,_  
><em>Live while you can<em>  
><em>Don't you see your dreams lie right in the palm of your hand<em>  
><em>In the palm of your hand.<em>

"Axel?" I heard a worried angel's voice. Am I in heaven? I didn't think I'd make it here. "Axel, please open your eyes."

"I think someone should give him some mouth-to-mouth" a mid-swept voice rang.

"Whoever votes for Roxas say 'I'" a low dark voice went.

Now by now someone would have usually moved or did something to show they were awake. I _tried_to, but nothing seemed to work.

Then it happened; I heard a background of 'I's and a pair of soft lips connected to mine. A sudden jolt electrified my body and I could physically feel the nerve ending warming through my body. Only my lips started to move, but then I felt delicate hands move on my face. Heat exploded where the motion moved. My arms felt warm and I finally was able to move my arms and open my eyes. The blonde, ROXAS!

"Oh my God Axel!" Zexion yelped. "Get a room before you do that."

Just to be cheeky I squeezed my hands, which had been placed on Roxas' ass. Roxas jumped off me and glared. I laugh, completely back into my old groove.

"You bitch, you were faking!" Roxas squealed.

"As much as that would be me Roxas, I didn't. Scouts honour." I lifted my right hand and put it to my heart. "What happened anyways, and how long was I out?"

Zexion sighed. "I'd guess a couple of hours, but I can say for sure. From Terra's description of other worlds the flow of time can feel different."

"As for what happened, well that's something you have to tell us. What is the last thing u remember?" Terra asked me.

"Well, the last conscience thing that I remember would be Terra running after Ven and Roxas." I thought about it. What happened to Ventus anyway." A quick scan around and the blonde still wasn't there.

"We don't know. He sort of _vanished_in thin air." Terra explained.

"That's not what happened. We turned the corner and he was gone." Roxas reasoned.

Demyx looked at me. "Wait you said last conscience memory, does that mean you remembered what you dreamt about?"

I nodded. "It's been about the same guy since we got here."

The rest of the guys sat down.

"What do you mean?" Terra asked.

"Its like my dreams are changing from before. Home all I would dream about was wrapped around in romantic fantasy that would turn sour. Here it's like a black void that never seems to go away and it's revolved around someone that I know, but I can't seem to put my finger on it."

"Maybe we'll him if you describe him." Zexion pointed out. It was worth a shot since I had no idea.

"Well he had long white hair; it came out to around his hips. The top part seems to fly out to the sides and not a single strand of hair in his face. His eyes were golden, or maybe an ocean blue. I don't know, it's confusing."

"Even to draw?" Roxas asked.

"Yes."

_Please come with me,  
>See what I see.<br>Touch the stars for time will not flee.  
>Time will not flee.<br>Can you see?_

* * *

><p>Terra kept looking out of the cave. I sighed. "Go look for him, he's probably scared out of his mind." Terra gave me a weak smile, and I nodded. "Ill go with you then."<p>

We left the cave and headed to the shoreline, Terra had said that Ventus liked the beach. I began to remember that the bent over tree was by said beach. Wincing at the memory I plunged forward to help my best friend.

We didn't speak as we walked through the green forest. Suddenly we reached the sand of the beach, but still the blondie in question was no where in sight.

I spotted the hair in question running across wooden bridge, towards the bent tree. Ventus seemed to be in a hurry, almost rushing towards his destination. We ran after him, climbing the nearby hut.

"Ventus wait!" Terra screamed. "Where are you going!?"

Ventus kept going, until he completely stopped and knelt down to something in front of him. His back was still to us, but we could still tell that he was crying; his back was shaking.

_Just a dream, just an ordinary dream.  
>As I wake in bed<br>And the boy, that ordinary boy  
>Or was it all in my head?<br>Did he asked if I would come along  
>It all seemed so real.<br>But as I looked to the door,  
>I saw that boy standing there with a deal.<em>

_And he said take my hand,_  
><em>Live while you can,<em>  
><em>Don't you see all your dreams lie right in the palm of your hand<em>  
><em>In the palm of your hand,<em>  
><em>In the palm of your hand.<em>

Terra walked up beside him and froze, when I reached them I saw why. In plain view was dismembered body of our friend Saix, face barely recognizable. Terra placed a hand on Ven's shoulder. His voice was weak. "What happened Ventus?"

Ventus looked up and we could see the tear stains on his face. His eyes looked swollen and puffy. "I don't know Terra, I thought he looked familiar so I went up to him. He was nice enough; almost too nice, but I needed to know who he was. We spent most of the time I was away together. He's name was-" his voice cracked into a squeak. "-Saix." His voice finally said.

This time I placed my hand on his shoulder. "Its okay Ventus, we know that isn't your fault. Saix was special, but he already had his time in our lives. You on the other hand haven't been here enough, we're just glad that you're alive."

Ventus hiccupped before tears fell from his face. "I know that." His sob occurred for a little bit. "That's not my point, it's what Saix said. He talked about you Axel, like you were his only friend in the world."

I smiled at that; not those toothy grins that light up a persons face though, one of those sad, weak smiles. "He was mine too."

At that Ventus looked up at me. "But he-"

I cut him off. "That doesn't matter anymore Ven. Everything that I needed to say, well I've already said them."

Ven nodded at this, but it was Terra that spoke. "We should probably head back."

_Just a day,  
>Just an ordinary day.<br>Just trying to get by.  
>Just a boy,<br>Just an ordinary boy.  
>But he was looking to the sky.<em>

We nodded in compliance and the lovers walked away from the tree. I stayed a little longer, looking up at the falling sun and sighed. _This place is beautiful Saix. _I true smile hit my face as I turned and walked back, feeling a sense of déjà vu.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: Srry this took so long. I feel so bad but I had serious writer's block xD<strong>


	30. Returning the Nothing

**Returning the Nothing**

It has been three days since Ventus walked off and came back. Terra has been on edge since, scared of who-know-what. He even looks pale, though I'm the only one that's noticed. I've asked Zexion to look him over, since he's the only one out of us with first-aid training but Zexion keeps saying he doesn't see anything.

So I've got myself worried, maybe _I'm_ getting paranoid.

It's not helping that these dreams keep coming. This man does not seem to let up, and I couldn't care less at the moment about keeping whoever-it-is' heart happy. We have more dying matters, but at the same time it feels more pressing as the hours of the day tick by.

I find myself thinking more of that man than the others, almost too much. Everyone has noticed too, I can feel their piercing stares at the back of my head as I leave the cave everyday. Walking around this supposed abandoned island, my thoughts go back to all my dreams. The sand feels familiar, the way it crunches against my feet and the texture it has against my toes.

_You're not alone_

_Together we stand_

_I'll be by your side, _

_You know I'll take your hand_

_When it gets cold_

_And it feels like the end_

_There's no place to go_

_You know I won't give in_

_No I won't give in_

The sudden feeling of air knocked me out of my thoughts as I hit the cushion-like ground. A man with pitch black hair and piercing yellow eyes stood in front of me. His clothes were skin tight with only the colour red appearing on his clothes. His crazed smile made me move back, feeling the cool water against my elbows. What did this man want?

"Who are you?" I ask, completely winging this as I go. I quickly stand up and mentally ready myself to get my weapons.

"I am Vanitus." And with that he ran at me, wielding a Keyblade as he ran. I brought out my chakrams, putting them into a defensive position, but the blade never came. Vanitus vanished into thin air and as I looked around I saw Terra coming up to me, looking paler then ever.

"Are you okay?" I ask. Still completely clueless to what the hell is going on. Terra smiled, almost as if he was holding back a laugh. He then patted me on the shoulder, and then with a faint smile he answered me.

"I was just about to ask you the same question." He laughed, but it felt forced.

"I'll answer yours if you answer mine first."

Terra sighed and looked away. "I don't think I should answer that, but you leave me no choice." He frowned as his voice whisked away. "Not too well my friend, almost as if I don't seem to exist. The air around me seems to be vacant and nothing seems to go right, like I'm slipping through my own fingers." He gave out a huff. "And you?"

I didn't register the question, flooding into my own personal hell of thoughts. The description seemed like it was familiar but the time and place seemed off. I wandered through my brain searching for anything that might help me in my self-revelation. My first dream on this island flowed through my brain as if it was on a never-ending loop. Was Terra this mystery man that I've been trying to figure out? It didn't make sense the man had flowing long white hair and Terra's was short and brown. Was that his future? And who was this little boy that he was talking about?

_Keep holding on_

'_Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through_

_Just stay strong_

'_Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you_

_There's nothing you can say_

_Nothing you can do_

_There's no other way when it comes to the truth_

_So keep holding on_

'_Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through_

I heard a snap in the distance and tuned back into the world. Terra looked confused, and out of the loop. "Are you okay?"

"More than I have in days Terra, I finally have a weight lifted off my shoulders and I can do something about the turning in my gut." I looked at him. "I think you're that mystery man, and if you are then that means we landed on this island for a reason." A smile pierced my face. "We might be able to go home."

Terra's face made my smile falter. "I don't think it will be that easy." His voice floated into the air. "I feel if we leave this island, we won't be going home Axel."

"What does mean?"

"It means that I don't think that we will ever go home, even if we leave this island. This island seems to be a resting place or a pit stop. I think someone is going to leave."

"Then shouldn't we find a way to stay together? What about Roxas and Ventus? They could be sent so far away from us." I started to shake. "I finally got him and you're saying that I might lose my only happiness?"

"Axel, calm down. Deep breathes buddy." I tried to listen to his plea, but my body didn't respond. "We'll spend all day with them."

* * *

><p><em>So far away<em>

_Wish you were here_

_Before it's too late, this could all disappear_

_Before the door close_

_And it comes to an end_

_With you by my side I will fight and defend_

_Fight and defend_

_Yeah, yeah_

The night sky danced around with the stars as we played along the camp fire. We had decided that morning that we were going to have barbecue before sleeping the night away. The clearing they had found had lush green grass that merged together with beach sand. The trees weren't too far away as the bent over tree had Terra and Ventus sitting on it.

Roxas was laying over my chest as we were eating, the rising and falling of his chest comforting to me. I smiled at him as we were eating and nothing seemed to matter at the moment.

It was moments like these that I know I'll treasure forever, the feel and smell of pure Roxas that nothing was washed over. Inclosing my arms around him I placed my hands right below his navel, feeing the soft hair of his soul-patch. Placing my head into his crease of his neck, I nuzzled into it before whispering into his ear. "I wish we could stay like this forever."

Roxas sighed. "Me too, hopefully we can."

"We can only hope the fates are in our favour."

_Keep holding on_

'_Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through_

_Just stay strong_

'_Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you_

_There's nothing you can say_

_Nothing you can do_

_There's no other way when it comes to the truth_

_So keep holding on_

'_Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through_

Demyx walked up to us and smiled that smirk-y grin of his, I rolled my eyes. What did he want?

"Yes Demy?" I asked, knowing fully well that he wouldn't ask just stare at us until we started the conversation. "What would you like?"

Demy chuckled. "I would like to talk to you Axel, that's all." I have something I need to ask you."

I gave him a quizzical look before sitting up, giving Roxas a kiss on the check, standing up and walking away. I followed Demy into the foliage, until suddenly he stopped. I stumbled, not expecting the man in front of me to stop. "What the-?"

"Axel do you think it's weird if I ask Zexion to marry me?"

I looked at him as if he had a third head. He brought me out here, the middle of practically nowhere to ask if I would think something it weird? "Demy, with everything that's happened to me over the past two days, no that would not be weird. Heck, I personally think it's sweet. He would be over the moon and we could have it here and not have to worry about everything for a while. Though I do have a question."

Demyx looked at me. "And that would be?"

"Did you want to do this before or after we ended up here?"

Demy smiled, completely teeth shit-eating grin that barely went on his face. It made me smile. "Before, I even have the ring I was going to use."

I felt like a total girl when I asked, but it had to be done. "Can I see it?" I looked at Demyx as he reached into his pocket and pulled out this little grey box made completely out of velvet. He opened it and this slim dark tinted band appeared in the box, the band had dark blue sapphires embedded in it. My jaw sagged in awe as I looked back at the man who bought it. "It's beautiful Dem, I'm sure he'll love it."

"That's good cause I spent most of my college fund on it. But then again, who are we kidding when I'm not getting into any colleges."

I laughed at that, he had a point.

_Hear me when I say, when I say I believe_

_Nothing's gonna change, nothing's gonna change destiny_

_Whatever's meant to be will work out perfectly_

_Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah_

Looking at Demyx, that happy-go-lucky face that I'll always endear everything felt so right. I never felt like I had a brother before, including my step and blood brother. The line vanished into thin air and this new line formed, it was wrong. He was wrong; time, world, heritage and I couldn't seem to find the answer. A black void was drawing near and this _brother_ of mine was going down with it.

But I couldn't let that happen.

Demyx felt the darkness approaching, running towards that blackened hell. Of course I ran after him, as nuts as I was I was never going to leave a friend. Leave no friend behind, and keep each other's backs. That was our motto.

When we both stop, there was a dark blacken spot on the ground but nothing else. The definition of nothing; other than what was suppose to be there, nothing was there but this blackened ground of abyss.

"What the hell?" Demyx squeaked, opening the guitar case.

"Are you sure about this?" I asked, looking at him

"Yes, they are the reason we are here. Maybe we can find a way off the island if capture one of them."

"I don't think that's a good idea."

"Why not?"

"I don't think those things will be solid enough to rope down. One of them flattened completely, almost like a shadow. Plus, I don't see any down there."

"We should still check it out."

I huffed out a sigh. "Okay there big boy, let's be careful though."

_Keep holding on_

'_Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through_

_Just stay strong_

'_Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you_

_There's nothing you can say_

_Nothing you can do_

_There's no other way when it comes to the truth_

_So keep holding on_

'_Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through_

* * *

><p><em>Keep holding on<em>

_Keep holding on_

We reached our destination quite quickly before I saw that Demyx was wrong. The whole entire black ground was made up of those shadow creatures, there was no real ground there. I quickly drew my chakrams and got into a defensive position. Demyx quickly pulled out his sitar and strummed the strings, the sound was off-key but six water figures came out of from the ground.

I saw Demy tuning his sitar before he strummed again, and the figures started to move towards the monsters. I followed his lead and let the fire fill the area before throwing the left chakram clearing a strip of an area.

"Come on, we'll be safer when we aren't surrounded." Demyx nodded running with me, leaving his case behind.

We reached the edge of the area when a black vine grabbed Demyx's foot. I pounded the vine with my chakrams while Demy was covering us with his figures. The figures were going down one by one and soon the monsters were on us. That was our saving grace came.

"Firaga!" Terra's voice rang. A giant fireball was aimed right out the monsters coming directly at us. It disappeared in a puff of smoke and the others stepped back for a second.

"Axel are you okay?" Roxas looked up at me.

"I'm fine, though Demyx is stuck." I said pointing at Demyx's foot.

Terra rolled his eyes and looked over the vine. "Blizzard." He spoke as ice covered it, and then he hit the ice with his Keyblade. "There."

"What are those things?" Ventus asked a whimper present in his voice.

"I believe those are Heartless." Zexion said, raising his Lexicon to the ready.

With hunger now set in their eyes the 'Heartless' sprung from there earlier position, immediately going for Zexion. They pulled him away from us before we could even react, Demyx yelling for them to stop. He strummed the sitar for help of his own and Terra sprang into action. Hacking away at the black darkness to get to Zexion.

"Terra! I want to try something, jump when I say to." He nodded and I conjured flames and threw my chakrams to clear another path for Terra to Zexion. "JUMP!" I screamed. Terra complied and barely missed my chakrams on the backflip.

"THUNDRA!"

Lightening shot out from the sky in a circle around him, rerouting my chakrams to me. I smiled and kept attacking the creatures around me.

One of the creatures attacked me from behind, pushing me to the ground with a thud. I heard Demyx's scream in the background as I started to bellow out mine. Roxas called for me. "Axel! Axel please don't die on me! I can't lose you Axel!"

The darkness kept clawing at me. There was no way around it, it was engulfing me. "Roxas, I love you!" I screamed. "I really do, I'll find you again. Don't doubt me on that."

"I love you, Axel!"

The darkness became the only thing around me, with two small lights in the far back ground. The lights moved around, circling each other until each just became a memory. A far off memory that was beginning to slip. Until my mind was becoming nothing. I could hear in a far off voice that was Terra, the other Terra; "You've done my heart well." Before that too faded into the abyss I was lying in.

_There's nothing you could say_

_Nothing you can do_

_There's no other way when it come to the truth_

_So keep holding on_

'_Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through_

* * *

><p>I woke up in a labatory, confused and disgruntled. Last thing I remember was Roxas leaving, no saving Roxas' somebody from those Nobodies.<p>

"Where…" I started to get up. "What happened to me? Roxas." My body started to ascend upwards until I was on two feet.

Not too far away from me was a glass pane, and I could see my reflection. "That's me." Quickly I shifted my eyes towards where the Door To Darkness as. On the floor laid my comrades. "Dilan, Aeleus, Even, Ienzo-" They were all here.

I scanned the room again only to look back at the window pane, something odd about my own reflection. My tattoos below my eyes were gone.

"We're people again."

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: Hey, so sorry I took so long. I wanted to make this really cool battle scene between Axel, Demyx and the Heartless and then another one for the whole gang vs. the Heartless but I couldn't seem to get it right. I actually wrote like million times and I got fet up with it and wrote this instead. <strong>

**I hope you guys like the last chapter of The Connection of Memories because I sure have loved writing it.**

**I would like to thank all my reviewers for being awesome and you guys actually make my day. I would like to thank Candy personally because when we bounced around ideas it made me actually think where to go next and personally made this story 20x better.**

**Also I was thinking about rewriting/revamping the first couple of chapters and was wondering if anyone would like that. :D**


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